Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Click “Undo” – 3

We continue our series on breaking in the new, unsure homeschooler.

If you’ve missed parts one and two of this series, you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

Fourth—deal with the feelings. Someone who is freshly released from a prison, or an unarmed police state, often will have difficulty handling absolute freedom.

Well, your child has been in an environment of rigid conformity that probably was much like a military base. Uniforms, bells, lines, roll-calls, schedules, harsh authorities, numbers, assemblies, lock-step, attention, fear-motivation, institutional colors, institutional food, lockers, compartments…how much does it take to dehumanize a person?

These tactics belong in the military, which needs to move like a machine.

Your newly rescued “cog” may balk at his new, normal life.

Imagine:

  • not feeling guilty about getting a full night’s sleep, while the bus rumbles by.
  • having time to chew and enjoy your breakfast.
  • being okay without shoes on.

Although it might seem incomprehensible, very much of this can make a newly freed person feel like the bottom has dropped out.

Of course, you have rules, but they may seem too lenient for this child, at first.

Alternately, he may have been starving for just this type of freedom, and decide to resist any type of boundary.

Either way, be prepared for testing, since you will find yourself a “new” authority in the eyes of your child. Rules, firmly but gently enforced, should help.

The gentle approach is very important.

One of the most comforting, uplifting, and rewarding things you can do for an unsure home school student is to point out all the objectionable activities, treatments, and attitudes, that he is missing. Smiling while saying things like, “Well, it’s time for math at the school,” will help him remember unpleasant occurrences that he was glad to leave. If you can manage to be working on a fun art project or baking bread when you drop such a reminder, he will feel doubly blessed by comparison.

Homeschooler challenging The Leaning Tower of ...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yes, “perks” are very important in a home school.

Actually, they are important to everyone, everywhere, but so few people work to provide the important things for children. This is one way that a home school can be better.

Although we do not want to give a child a demanding attitude, we can make him feel pampered or even slightly spoiled with something as simple as a small bouquet at breakfast or even just a cookie, judiciously applied.

Other perks might be:

  • schooling barefoot
  • owning a new pet
  • studying in a tree
  • skipping one afternoon per week
  • schooling with a new friend or at Grandmother’s once a week
  • having a source of income during the day
  • taking a week of vacation with Dad’s business trip
  • ice cream after every tennis lesson
  • expanding his personal hobby via his studies

Long recesses on a snowy day, followed by hot cocoa with a marshmallow could not fail to make the new homeschooler feel a little more human. He knows his old friends are sitting in a stale room, looking at the snow outside, and wishing.

Great field trips, even in the summer, can help him realize his importance in your eyes. He knows how tedious and seldom the field trips were, before, or he may even have failed to qualify for them.

More tomorrow.

Icon for 'undo', based partially on Image:Circ...
Undo

Icon for ‘undo’, based partially on Image:Circle-contradict.svg. Intended for general use (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Wisdom

Click “Undo” – 2

Yesterday we began a series about how to begin home educating a child who is acclimatized to the collective school situation and may be reluctant about this big change in his life. You may want to catch up, here.

The second step is somehow to teach your child also to care more.

Unless your child has begged for rescue from the collective system, he may not see what you see or care about what you care about (his welfare).

He may not be comfortable with the idea that his education or his life is worth caring about.

He may not realize that it is now safe for him to care about life.

Affirmations of thankfulness and celebration about his new presence in your daily affairs will help him see a glimpse of it. As your actions follow your words, he will begin to believe it, and to feel some of the same, himself.

School buses congestionThe third step is to help your child understand what is happening in his life.

Even if he begged to home school, he is accustomed to a regime of bells jangling and other buffeting noises, dependent upon someone else telling him every move to make, and missing his old friends.

Now someone (you) must deal with this regimented, buffeted, dependent, and friendless soul who is moping at your kitchen table.

How do you explain? You start with God. If you have not had much time to minister God to your child, take it easy—you do not want to overwhelm him and you cannot force him.

You will have a long time to get your whole school right, but you have only now to get now right. Proceed humbly. Pray without ceasing.

If he does understand the concept of knowing God’s will, you can tell him that you are obeying God, and that sometimes that means changes that do not feel comfortable. There always is some other way that seems right to us. (Proverbs ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­14:12, 16:25)

Confess that you could not or would not hear God, before, which is how you both got to where you are now. Yes, confess. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. You, dear parent, have wasted a portion of the life of this child, who was at your mercy, leading him to learn to enjoy the world’s ways; you have seen the coming consequences; and you have repented. Now you must woo a child of the world to see the light of God’s glorious way for His people. Your humble, repeated apology will help him see that the old way was wrong and that when he longs for it, he too is wrong. Do not expect him to see it at first, but do tell him, often, how sorry you are and do not merely tell him. Show him. Make amends, somehow. Often.

More tomorrow.

Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Scripture, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Click “Undo”

Click Undo!

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

(Proverbs 22:6)

Now you’ve done it:

You have finally brought your baby (who happens to be fourteen years old!) home to live happily ever after with you.

You have planned and dreamed and now you are so excited.

The trouble is that now you do not know what to do with this child you hardly recognize and you have to deal with the years he has spent away from his loving home.

Is that how it is for you? How do I know? We have been there, is how. Because the laws in our state had not always protected home schooling, our oldest had spent six years in the public system and nearly two in a similar private system. He had much to unlearn, since children can acquire many ideas we do not want them to learn, and miss the important things.

Why do they pick up things we do not desire? It is because we have not been bringing them up in the ways they should go, according to God’s command. I can say that because if our children have been in any type of collective institution, then we have not been bringing them up much AT ALL.

Someone else has.

We only greeted them as they passed through our lives, doing the bidding of those who were bringing them up. It is so sad and so wrong that the wisest man ever, Solomon, himself, made a special judgment regarding such things. He knew that the real parent would really care. (1 Kings 3) Maybe that is one reason God commanded us to bring them up, not to send them away to someone else. The assumption is that we would truly care.

If we have missed this mark until now, what do we do?

How do we make it right?

Where do we start?

The first step is already done: Bringing your child home is the first step.

Something inside you is waking up and beginning to commit to caring for him more. You have made a good start, already, and do not forget it, because many would like to make you think that this excellent start is really the start of all your problems.

Actually, you already had problems; you are just now beginning to see them. Finding and facing the problems is a great first step.

More tomorrow.

Dad and son
Dad and son (Photo credit: narice28)

 

 

Having children does not make a rich man poor! Having children makes a poor man rich!

You cannot take your riches to Heaven with you after you die, no matter how much you may try. But if you try hard you may accomplish one day having your children with you in Heaven after you die.

 

Overheard – Kids!

Good News for the Romeikes, for a Change

 

English: The Fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989. Th...
The Fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989. The photo shows a part of a public photo documentation wall at Former Check Point Charlie, Berlin. The photo documentation is permanently placed in the public.

 

A startling change in events for this poor beleaguered family is on the horizon. Read about it here.

 

 

 

I find this encouraging.

 

 

 

Hope you do, too.

 

 

 

 

In order to submerge the individual and develop ideal citizens, Sparta assembled the males at [age] seven into barracks and entrusted their subsequent education and training to official guardians. Although such measures have been deliberately approved by men of great genius their ideas touching the relation between individual and state were wholly different from those upon which our institutions rest; and it hardly will be affirmed that any Legislature could impose such restrictions upon the people of a state without doing violence to both letter and spirit of the Constitution.Meyer v. Nebraska, 262 U.S. 390 (1923) at 402

English: Detail of Preamble to Constitution of...
Detail of Preamble to Constitution of the United States (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How about that.

What ARE we doing?

Anyone brave enough to hazard a guess?

Whenever we hold hands with the United Nations, that is what we get.  They tell us it’s all about the rights of children and other “disabled” people, but we really know what it’s all about.

Don’t we?

Read lots more here.

It’s not just the Gates Foundation, folks.

Jus’ Sayin’

Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Wisdom

Overheard – Patience in Affliction

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:7b-8

The farmer waits. Crops must germinate, grow, ripen. So must your life. Wait.Faking patience. Our own thinking tells us, of course, the lack of affliction causes us to act patient.

That is true.

And as long as all we are concerned with is acting the part, a lack of affliction will suffice.

True patience. The Word of God has a different take on it.

God says we need affliction, troubles, problems, even suffering, in order to learn true patience.

Fake patience will evaporate in any trial. And trials will come.

You know it, too: No pain, no gain, right?

James uses the farmer to illustrate the necessity of waiting and the reward for patience.

When a farmer plants his seeds, he knows that he will have to work and wait before he will see the fruit of his labor. First he tills the ground. Then he plants seed and prays for rain. In a few days he sees something coming up through the ground.

What would you think of a farmer who harvested his crop after those few days’ growth? Would he have anything worth eating or selling?

No, he needs to wait more, be patient more. He wants a strong, mature crop. That takes time. He has to work—tilling, weeding, irrigating—and wait until the process is complete. If he harvests too early, he will ruin it.

Parents must be patient too.

The first nine months seem to go forever. It’s a difficult wait, but a good chance to do the work of accumulating baby supplies. The next few hours of working and waiting for delivery to be over can seem like forever, too. We do warp time, don’t we!

But immediately after that all waiting is over, right? Wrong.

It’s time for a different time warp.

Parents work for years, caring for a child and instilling in him the training, discipline and encouragement he needs to mature enough to survive on his own.

Sometimes it seems like one step forward and two steps back. After all, they DO say we spend two years teaching a child to walk and talk, and the rest of their lives teaching them to sit down and hush. Heh heh.

It’s that way for every parent. Do not think for one minute that if you ditch your child, you will relieve yourself of the waiting, of the work of learning patience. You don’t really know patience unless you’ve waited for a prodigal.

Yes, child-rearing takes patience. In the same way, our Father is patiently training, disciplining, encouraging, and maturing us—through our afflictions—to be more like Jesus.

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:4

As we anticipate the rewards of patience, we can endure whatever happens in our lives. We can cope when we remember that heaven is forever and earth is passing. When the ground is shaking all around us and we are tempted to despair, we know God loves us and is with us. We can be patient because we know Jesus will come again and all bad things in life will finally be set right.

We do not merit any blessing from God, regardless of our personal right-doings. All blessings come from God’s mercy, and without God’s mercy and compassion toward us, we would be at Satan’s pleasure all the time and life on earth would be like Hell.

As it clearly is, for some people.

Same for our children. We love them and show them compassion, supplying their every need, for no reason other than our loving mercy. When we do not, their lives are like hell.

Never forget that.

If we want the blessing of whole adult offspring, we must humble ourselves and patiently endure the working and waiting.

The masses…

As a farmer waits for germination, growth, and ripening, so we must wait for our lives to show progress.

Most people today are characterized by impatience and love of ease. They are motivated by immediate and shallow rewards. They seem unwilling to work and wait. They are lured by lottery, credit card debt, and get-rich-quick schemes. They look to preachers who will feed this attitude, teaching Godliness as a means of gain. They have itching ears.

Quitting seems easier.

We should work and wait for the autumn rains. Really.

Don’t quit.

Especially do not quit on your family.