I cannot believe what I have seen, lately.
And that comment deserves an explanation.
The wedding wowed us all, and my son, no doubt, rejoices, now. We’ll talk about that later, I’m sure.
But what I realize suddenly, is that for the last 42 years, I have been co-existing with my kids. That thought barely fits inside my head. Just barely. For 42 years, I’ve had kids in my corner — whether pre-borns, school-aged, or 20-somethings, they were my kids and they were here.
Gradually, almost imperceptibly they have sought their niches and moved on to life as they envisioned it.
I wonder if they envisioned it accurately, any better than I did. I mean, I always wanted six children, but I never, even once, thought I would live with kids for 42 years. It makes me laugh because it sounds like I ran an orphanage. Often I jokingly said of my profession, that I helped my husband manage a home for children who would otherwise be homeless. I believed that, even while I laughed about it. I joke about someone else doing their laundry for a change, and I believe that, too, as I laugh.
The time arrives when all that work is over and I enjoy reaping grandkids and such. I re-arrange furniture in empty bedrooms, glad for the space, glad for a chance to access the under-bed areas with a broom and mop, daring not to allow the mixed emotions a venue, terrified of second thoughts, unable to admit missed chances, refusing to ponder the distance to check on these kids, allowing only the happy-thoughts.
I did it. They are raised and gone. Their rooms are again mine. I can have a sewing room and an office.
And more money for luxuries.
And more clean.
And more time.
And more quiet.
And my own way, more.
This brings me to the saying for Saturday, a chorus from an old song by Glen Campbell: Dreams of the Everyday Housewife
Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife
You see everywhere any time of the day
An everyday housewife
Who gave up the good life
For me.
However the writer of this song assumes the wife longs for the good ol’ pre-marriage days, it fails to realize what it juxtaposes:
Wrinkles vs. young men’s ridicule — give me wrinkles, any day.
Apron vs. dancing men waiting in line for her — really; that’s the good life.
Closet vs. photos, and dried flower crumbling — actually, I have many, many photos and flowers, none crumbling, and I could use another closet.
Housedress vs. mind-blowing gowns — the way I dress in the house is far more sensible and comfortable and desirable and if gowns are the “good life”, I’d give them up in a heartbeat for what I’d really like.
I’d really like to ride that “housewife” ride all over again.
(Photo credit: bondidwhat)
Home's Cool! 
I agree 100% though I didn’t have my kids with me as long as you 24 years was fine!! Housewife I consider just about the most important title a woman can be called other than Mom!!
It is such an honor to complete the housewife job by accepting a man’s children into one’s body to begin the nurturing process that probably never ends. What a profession!
Thank you so much for raising your children and letting them go. This woman appreciates it. 🙂
Oh, if only my heart had really let go . . .
I’m only pretending, very very very hard. 😉
nice interesting post
Thanks so much, friend, and Welcome to Home’s Cool! Hope you return soon! 🙂
Being a mother is a profession from which one can never retire. The job description changes as the children grow older, but you are the mother even after the children have their own homes. Welcome to the empty nest! May you find renewed joy in your marriage as you make this transition.
You are so right and I realize it, but it is nice to have less laundry and more food. 😀
I do miss them, though. I miss the hubbub and their tiny bodies on my lap. Cannot go back to that.
Now the tiny bodies you look forward to are grandchildren. What a special relationship, and they usually come with a “Mommy-back guarantee!”
Just held a brand-new granddaughter this weekend. How tiny and fragile! What a joy, too!
I loved raising my children but I have enjoyed letting the eldest go; and I will feel the same about the youngest. I have things I want to do for myself; and I believe we’ve done a good enough job that our boys can manage their lives without us.
Oh, Tilly, I LOVED letting them go. Also loved having them around. Also wish I could go back. But can’t. 😉
😀
Wow…such a beautiful perspective. I almost teared up reading this today in my office. Being the “42” that marks those years (and counting), I pray that the fulfillment you feel today as the nest empties will only grow with your extended households.
Oh, I was mopping up as I wrote and re-wrote it.
I’ve thought of this whole topic for days. I think it’s a thing of finally having to grow up, since there is no one left to play with anymore. 😉
‘Bout lost it when I took your arm to walk down that aisle last weekend. 😥
“I did it. They are raised and gone. Their rooms are again mine. I can have a sewing room and an office.”
GOOD FOR YOU, Katherine! AS FOR ME- my three grown children, spouses and 7 grandkids live here, all within 15 minutes from my home. We see nearly everyone every week. They stop in when they run errands in town; we help pick up grandkids from school when necessary- After school today and before the three youngest GK left, they ate my leftover lunch, half a cantaloupe, raided my husband’s candy jar and the last one to leave ate the last fruit bar in the freezer! A corner of the living room is the play area and my guest room is THEIR room with stuffed animals on the bed and their stuff. Did you read 6-14-12,’Who Else Is Coming for Lunch?’ Archives June 2012 (About Me and My Family) http://heulu.wordpress.com
Yikes! No, I missed that one, but will check it out in a moment. 🙂 I would love having my grandkids over from time to time, but unless there is an emergency, it just is too far. I kept one set during one son’s tenth anniversary, and annother set for the same occasion. That was fun, since it was for a whole week and I even got ironing chores and such for these blessings. It was like a second chance at momming, but only for a few days. 🙂 I absolutely love taking them to church with me and showing them off. Ha. No pride or anything, eh? But I know we would all soon tire of that and always welcome the parents back in due time. 😉
Sorry, June 7, 2012 post, but I’m sure you’ve found it by now! It’s football season here now so every weekend we have potluck and they gather around the large screen TV in our large condo living room!