Category: Blessings of Habit

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

The Blessings of Habit –- Basic Beginnings

Posted on by Katharine

Stick to basics in the beginning.

Our children can reap what God intended from good habits, if, by the time our babies are crawling, we’ve had the pleasure of instilling good habits into them.

For instance, we know we should keep them out of the cooking area, so we train them to stay out. Sometimes this is the first clash of wills between the darling babe and the soft mom. It can seem like war, if Mom doesn’t know how to:

Train in Good Habits

  1. Habit training
    Habit training

    In the beginning, for instance, we must teach a child what “hot” means, to fear when a thing is hot, and to trust our word on the matter. Use a hot light bulb and tell him “NO—HOT!” Act like you’re preventing him, but let him touch it briefly. Ask if he wants to repeat. If you see unwillingness, it’s a sign the child knows what you mean. If he cries, keep telling him it’s hot.

  2. Anger and yelling do not help; they hinder. Anger is for the devil, not for teaching; yelling is for long distance, loud environments, or extreme emergencies, not for teaching.
  3. Consistent firmness is the key. If you do not have time to be consistent, use a playpen or high chair to confine and thereby protect the child, or enlist a helper. “No” must mean “no”. If you are too lazy to be consistent, thinking about burn scars on your baby should help you feel stronger.
  4. You must not cave in to crying. Crying sometimes is a good way for a baby to communicate. Crying to get one’s way is bad. Do not teach the child that crying to get his way is good.
  5. Draw the line where you want, and make it stick. In our kitchen, one cabinet was permissible, but the rest of the kitchen was off-limits, during cooking. At crawling age, a child can grasp this.

Overcome Picky Eating Habits

We know we don’t want picky eaters and do want well-balanced diets, so we train them to eat. This can be another war, a bigger one, again avoidable, if Mom knows how to begin:

  1. Be sure you do not serve food your husband will not eat when he is present. Save it for when he is gone. Be sure he understands this is a time of training, both in obedience and in habit, and you need his backing.
  2. Make a new rule that every person will take at least a bite of every food on the table and eat that one bite all gone, no exceptions.
  3. Anyone who complains about one bite, gets two bites. This is all done very pleasantly, not in a way that causes mealtime to be a war.
  4. All food must be gone, not just pushed around, before getting any seconds or any dessert, again, all communication is friendly, matter-of-factly.
  5. The only consequence is no other food offered at that meal. Eat one bite (or two for the grumpy) of everything if you want seconds of anything. End of discussion.

You likely are seeking the next step, here, but that is all there is. This process, based upon natural hunger, applied consistently, teaches the child to like all foods and to clean the plate.

All their lives, my children were afraid around off-limits things and unafraid of green things on the plate. It was good.

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

The Blessings of Habit–Part 1

Posted on by Katharine

Do Your Kids Have Habitual Blessings?

Light switch habit
Light switch habit

“Hey! Turn that back on!” I heard from the hallway one day.

It had happened again.

We have taught our children, from the time they were young, to turn off lights as they leave a room. Someone had turned out the light while there was someone still in that room.

It was a case of what I like to call “good habit—bad timing”.

It takes 21 days to form a good habit.

How amazing that the brain, once trained, knows what to do on its own! Eventually we no longer have to think about what to do and how to do it.

Imagine if you had to reinvent tying your shoe, each time you did it. We can turn off a light without thinking, even without looking at the switch. We can be thinking about the next task in the next room while we finish the task in the current one.

The mind is wonderful!

During an exercise class, I heard a phrase worth remembering:

“That which is used, develops; that which is not used atrophies.”

At that time, I did not know the meaning of the word “atrophy”, so I guessed it meant the opposite of “develop”. Since our family has a motto of knowing, instead of guessing, it bothered me I didn’t know for sure, so I looked it up.

So many habits go into each action…

Think of all the habits working in this experience:

  1. The phrase, repeated, became a reminder of the good of learning, repetition, and training.
  2. The habitual use of English caused me to guess correctly at the meaning of a word in context.
  3. The habit of exercise, itself, gave me a lifelong urge to keep moving, partly spurred on by thoughts of atrophy.
  4. Our habit of being sure of facts caused me to bother with a dictionary.
  5. A family habit of returning a thing to its place enabled me to find the dictionary.
  6. A habit of working alphabetically caused me to turn to the front of that huge book.

Imagine life without habits!

How difficult it would have been for me to benefit from the experience had I not had all those habits! Oh, the drill, supplied by faithful adults, that formed them in me!

The sad thing is that some children who lack faithful training might be learning to hate exercise instead of fearing atrophy. We have many such children living among us, these days—lacking drill in good habits—and this loss causes many problems. They never reap any benefit from life’s normal experiences. They become abnormal.

And we have to make up for their loss all around us.

Our children do not have to be among them, though. The home is the perfect environment for instilling good habits.

Let’s do it!

_______________

More tomorrow.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Scripture

Resolved:

Posted on by Katharine

I’ve been thinking about New Year resolutions a lot, lately.

Thinking what a sobering thing it would be to ask God what He would like to see me change this year!

I found something that may relate, something to think about:

And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah: And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters: And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years: And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him (Genesis 5:21 KJV).

By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him (Hebrews 11:5-6 KJV).

Enoch lived long, long ago, among some of the first people, ever. And he lived one year for each of the three hundred sixty-five days in a year. Does this make me curious?

Yes.

Then there’s another thing: It seems like he simply subsisted before Methuselah’s birth, but walked with God after.

I can relate to that.

Scripture does not mention anyone else “walking with God” in Genesis 5. They all just lived, and bore descendants, is all we are told.

None of the others were taken, either; they all died. Enoch, however, “was not, for God took him.”

We must believe God exists and that He will reward us. I know He does that! But could He want to give me an Enoch-like experience this year? Could I muddle through, listening, for 65 days, and then have direction for walking with Him?

Like Enoch, only smaller?

I want to try this. I want to wait on Him during the first 65 days, to show me the way, His direction, what He wants for the last 300 days of 2015. I want to be still before Him and listen to His ideas about what comes next.

I want to hear Him say, “Come,” and I want to step out of the boat. By the 65th day of the year, I want to say, “By God’s grace, I will do this thing.” I want to walk with God the remaining 300 days of the year, in this matter He sets before me. Maybe by the 65th day of the year (Friday, March 6) I will know what I should change, what I should make my year’s goal.

What will He show me? What will He require of me? I don’t know.

I want a dedication on Day 65, and I want to call it Enoch Day and I want a big celebration this time next year. I’m thinking of keeping a journal, just for this tradition.

Maybe I’ll be brave and post it. Or maybe not.

Although all is still in the formative stages, one thing has become clear to me: In my life, a new Enoch celebration would be far better than all the New Year Resolutions in the world. (I cannot, in my own strength, change all I need to change. I have learned: God-pleasing changes do not come from my own strength.)

By God’s strength, I can walk in His will much more easily than I can walk in guilt over bondage to an overwhelming New Year’s list.

Maybe you could, too.

What if we began the New Year diligently seeking Him about what He would like changed? What if we took His Word to us and began implementing it on March 6? What if He visited us with His strength to do it?

It’s scary, but I can hardly wait.

Fireworks
Fireworks
Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Wisdom

Curses on Cursive?

Posted on by Katharine
Pencils
Pencils (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I just finished reading a great essay written by a Ph.D. who researches the brain for improved learning. His brilliant work, quoted by writers, everywhere, who know the outcome more than the process, reveals:

We need to learn cursive.

Duh, right?

Dr. Klemm states that the activity in the brain changes when we hand write our essays, our notes, etc.

He even says children learn the alphabet and what it means, BETTER, when they write it out, even in printing, and even when they only make introductory stroke marks intended for eventually learning the alphabet.

I always knew that.

I could never prove it, but writing always works that way for me. My hand is correct, smooth, and readable as I begin, and morphs into a garbled, twisted mess as I continue recording my thoughts for you while I find them, organize them, scratch through some of them, rewrite them . . .

When I know it is important that I reach deep into my being and produce quality writing that connects for far more people than usual, I get out lined paper and a pen or pencil.

Preferably a pencil, and I know Dr. Klemm will eventually discover this about writing, too:

Pencils rule. Pencils give more freedom, due to erasing capabilities. Pencils are aware, making soft, appreciative and encouraging sounds that correspond to the thoughts they are recording. Pencils are more straightforward, humbly walking in direct contact with the paper, instead of roller-skating around uncooperatively.

It’s enough to fight for control of my thoughts, let alone of my writing tool.

But I digress.

My point is that those who would destroy a country would, of course, furiously aim at removing the skill that enables the people to reach more deeply into their souls and draw out quality expression that appeals to many.

To destroy a country, one must stop its Thomas Payne and Thomas Jefferson types, no?

Home’s Cool!

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Scripture, Wisdom

Look Up.

Posted on by Katharine
Large, violent tornadoes can cause catastrophi...
Large, violent tornadoes can cause catastrophic damage when striking populated areas. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With all the tornados floating around lately, come many more words about tornados. It’s a real storm out there and I’d like to add to the din.

I wrote a couple of years ago about my close call with a really big, destructive tornado. People like to read about these events. Not just y’all; I read these stories too.

As I was re-reading some of these writings today, I noticed something. I think the events that shape our lives prepare us for living a successful life in the end. I think we can look back on our childhoods and see how God was preparing us to face our future.

If we pay attention . . .

One thing in particular that stood out for me, as I read these old stories today was this: It was no time for hurt feelings.

Not then; not now.

I wrote about my six-year-old self:

I knew it was a tornado up there, whatever a tornado was. I looked up, too, and stumbled.

Mom scolded me sharply. “Don’t look up! Don’t look up! Don’t look up!” She seldom scolded sharply. It hurt my feelings but I knew it was no time for hurt feelings. Her words were like a mantra, a warbled charm against bad omens . . . don’t look up, don’t look up . . .

As I notice the world today, I realize how  much I knew back then, and how much my mom knew, and what good I could make of it if I only paid attention and applied it to my current life.

  1. When we look at the troubles, we stumble. It IS  huge storm all around us, but the storm should not be our focus, at all.
  2. If someone is trying to save our lives, we should not get hurt feelings. Those who know the way to safety are life-savers. Some of us probably should be slipping into that role, but we enjoy ignoring the storm, more.
  3. We are in a huge storm, like it or not, and it is NO TIME FOR HURT FEELINGS! Regardless of what happens, hurt feelings are a distraction and not deserving of our time or attention.
  4. DON’T LOOK AT THE STORM! DON’T LOOK AT THE STORM! DON’T LOOK AT THE STORM!

One caveat:

We should look up.

Jesus told us it would get worse, and when it does, to look up. To stand up. To lift up our heads.

Why? Because our salvation will be very near.

 And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh. Luke21:28 KJV

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Categorized!, Wisdom

Do You Live with an Editor?

Posted on by Katharine

I can find anyone’s mistake.

Writer
Writer

When folks misuse an adjective as an adverb, I mentally add, “-ly!” Yes, I mentally add the exclamation point; cannot let it go.

When someone picks up the wrong fork for his salad, I have to concentrate on my own salad or I forget to eat it.

When a word is misspelled in a published book, I mark it, if it’s my own copy.

When clothing colors are a bad match, when a car needs detailing, when a handprint (or, worse, a nose-and-forehead print) appears on my storm door, I notice it all. (And I say “for-red”, not “for-head”.)

If you find plates upside-down at the beginning of the service line in a self-serve restaurant, I’m the one who did that. Those plates needed rewashing.

My kids can tell you: I’m precise about particulars. They learned how to diagram sentences. They learned to distinguish between the “i”, the “:”, and the “!” in math. They learned the new names of the new countries in eastern Europe.  They learned to spell before I let them learn to type, which came before I let them learn to use our computer.

They learned to say “-ly!”, mentally, whenever appropriate.

I cannot imagine how stressful that must have been. I worry about it, although I always attempted to make learning fun and exciting.

In fact, one of my kids recently told me of his thankfulness at being forced to learn spelling and typing first.

He’d looked around.

Someone else was hunt-pecking at a keyboard, someone employed to sit there and hunt-peck. He told me of his astonishment and the difficulty he had in concentrating on his own business. Hmm.

I am training myself to let some of it go, though. Wish I’d trained my kids to do that, too. It’s heavy, all this noticing and editing of other peoples’ goofs. Sometimes I just smile and keep going.

After all, I can spot anyone’s mistake.

Anyone’s but mine.