Posted in Home School, how-to

What Is the Perfect Schedule for My Home/School?

How to Make a Permanently Perfect Schedule for Your Home/School!

How to Make the Perfect Homeschool Schedule

The Problem

You are sick of rescheduling your children’s day every day? I don’t blame you!

Sick of arriving late, due to lack of schedule? I don’t blame you!

Sick of never getting it all done? I don’t blame you!

Your problem may not be what you think, though.

The Remedy

Things may not be as bad as you think.

You may not be a failure as a home schooling mom! And your children may not be lazy bums!

You simply may need to learn how to make a good schedule that works for you!

The Three Parts of a Perfect Schedule

One thing a schedule often fails to provide is a way to remember it. After all, interruptions and our overtaxed minds might be working against us a lot, right? And who usually has the schedule all mapped in the mind, anyway? Not I!

Therefore, in order to actually serve any purpose in your home, a schedule must be:

—Memorable

Make a schedule that’s easy to remember. Of course, any new habit will take a while to gel, in everyone’s memory, but there are ways! Make your schedule MEMORABLE.

  1. A perfect schedule has the same elements every day. I know, I know, your days vary. Of course they do! However, with a perfect schedule they will vary less, believe me, and with that schedule firmly in place, variations will become “ho-hum”. Really. Just keep reading!
  2. A perfect schedule is written down. How much easier to remember something with a cue card! Don’t worry; this is a ten-minute job on a computer. Or copy and print my graphic below! Trust me; that’s all there is to it.
  3. A perfect schedule is enforced. At first, implementing a schedule will go against everyone’s grain. After all, having lived unscheduled, or differently scheduled, can make this change seem too drudgy. I mean, look at it! It’s just as if no one even knows how to make a spreadsheet! However, after you’ve fought the good fight to get there, you will be so glad. Give yourself and everyone else 21 days to make/break this into your lives. That’s 21 school days, please.
    Announce it with apologies for never thinking of it before.
    Print it on interesting paper, set an amazingly cheery example, ask husband for reinforcement, and GO!

What? Stopped already?

Oh, you haven’t even begun yet? Oh. You know why? Possibly it’s because you’ve piled everything you have been delaying all on the first day of your new schedule. Not going to work, you realize? Rather impossible, you say?

Right. So, the next thing your schedule must be is based upon sound reasoning . . . .

—Reasonable

Make a schedule that is reasonably doable. The schedule I will discuss on this page was how WE did it. It was exceedingly doable for us. We thrived on it. I was ecstatic about it. I even . . .

Okay, here’s how:

  1. Your perfect schedule includes every activity your family performs. List them on paper, ask for input, and add to it if you remember more. And by “every” I mean: bedtimes, meals, church, chores, field trips, piano lessons, etc., and school work. It will help if you list it in groups such as: daily, weekly, twice weekly, monthly, etc.
  2. Your perfect schedule is pared down. Many mistake home schooling for hunting—that is, hunting down someone to give lessons on every imaginable subject. If you are seldom home (as in home school) rethink a bunch of the outside activities.
    Or rethink being one of those who arrives on time and gets everything done?
  3. Your perfect schedule is amenable to gentle management. Once it’s in place, quiet reminders will be enough. Once it’s in place, your children will adopt your schedule with contentment, will self-start according to it, and may even thank you. Once it’s in place.

And the pared-down, gentle schedule will be received with great calm, if it is . . .

—Purpose-able (That’s not a word, I know, but read on!)

A schedule that works, will create beautiful things for you and your children. You sense that; probably that is why you are reading here. And you are right. And that is where the acceptable and doable schedule is so self-promoting!
There is a reason airports, hospitals, and even God do things on schedule:

It creates beautiful things for those involved.

  1. A good schedule benefits its administrators. That’s you. You’ll have a reasonable idea of where your children are, in their studies, or where they need to be, at any time. Because you are the enforcer, you also are the one who can adapt your schedule at any time. Oh the joy of redirecting an entire day, calmly and effortlessly, with just a few words! (as I will explain.)
  2. A schedule benefits students. They eventually fall into the plan and begin relaxing and working on math, because they know that they know: Park Day begins in three hours!
    ALSO—and this is big—they learn how to schedule themselves. They grow up to understand the wisdom of deadlines, how to meet them, and why. This will carry over into such adult scenes as college, the workforce, paying debts, milking cows, planting in spring, and many other extremely important facets of real life. They will learn that getting up and getting going, with cheer, is what it’s all about.
  3. A schedule benefits truth, justice, and the American way! Joking!
    However, if you show up at a meeting on time and even remembered to bring the cookies as you said you would, your schedule will win friends and admirers for you!
    If your school allows for field trips, lessons, and play days, AND finally is over for the year, your schedule will win your children over!
    If your husband comes home to children ready to play with him or learn man chores with him, guess what! Your schedule wins again!
    And just think if you actually had a chance for quiet time almost every morning…

My Perfect Schedule

Need help making a really good schedule that works for your home/school days? Look no farther!While I have a tendency—as do many others—to think my way is the only available highway, I realize we have friends who have other (gasp!) schedules that are perfect for them.

For instance, we know a family of which the dad was an ER physician who came home every night at 11:00 or so. He wanted to teach the upper-grade science in their school. So the older children stayed up until Dad got home for their science lessons. Therefore, school for them began at 10:00 every morning. Reasonable, don’t you think?

Not so for me!

I’m sure you would be squawking, too, if I said you had to arrange your schedule as I did. Still, I think you can learn from the old schedule we always followed, so I offer it for your consideration. It’s natural to be curious, too, so I include it here.

Feel free to read it and say, “Nope! Not going there!”

That will be very good, in fact, because it will mean you are gradually forming in your own mind what your own schedule ought to be for your own family and purposes. In spite of the fact that I love my adoring fans to slavishly imitate me. Ha!

Seriously, study it, in all it’s naked glory and glean:

The Schedule!

Morning

5:00 – Mom awake. Quiet time. Breakfast for Dad. Start Mom-chores.

6:30 – Kids awake. (alarm clocks) Kids dress. Quiet time. Feed pets. Feed selves. Clean kitchen. All in that order.

8:00 – Opening exercise. (hymns, Bible memo)

8:30 – School work begins. Mom works with K-2 students. Older ones self-schedule goals and self-start.

10:00 – Break for P.E.

10:30 – School work resumes.

Evening

12:00 – Lunch break. Eat. Kids clean kitchen. Free play.

1:00 – School work resumes.

3:00 – School over. Dawdlers begin “homework”.

5:00 – Dad comes home. Examines, praises day’s work. Still dawdling? – Lecture from unhappy Dad!

6:00 – Supper.

6:30 – Clean kitchen.

8:00 – Bedtime for littles.

9:00 – Bedtime for olders.

10:00 – Bedtime for Juniors and Seniors, if needed due to trig, calc, or research paper.

11:00 – Bedtime for Mom. Yes, I worked on six hours of sleep during the week, usually.

What About the Rest of It?!

I’m so glad you asked! That part is coming!

First I want to explain a bit. (The bit that makes it adaptable, flexible, and usable!) You see, just as English forms the past tense with “ed”, except when it uses “ought” or “ank” or “ang” or . . . , our family also used our wonderful schedule, except . . .

Except on Tuesdays, Fridays, and once a month on Thursdays.

Why?

Because on Tuesdays we had lessons with home-schooling friends (Spanish, bowling, tennis, piano, and/or art) and I took time to shop in the big city, then, and treat them to pizza out.

On Fridays, we cleaned house, which threw the schedule off usually about an hour.

Once per month we had Park Day with our support group, which included picnicking and playing wild (rollerblade basketball?) and fun things in the fresh air with homeschooling friends. On a different Thursday of each month, we had our home-school group business meeting at night, which meant very early supper.

Therefore, on Tuesdays, with the MWF lessons skipped, they usually did not do Spelling, either. On Fridays, the house cleaning was their P.E., when they dusted and vacuumed their own rooms, and I fixed no supper since it was our popcorn and movie/game night. Once a month, during Park Day, they only did Math and maybe English on that Thursday, and then off we went.

Whenever we chose to skip lessons for outside activities, we made them up via extra work on each day or even on Saturday. It was our school; we could do whatever we wanted and we wanted to make up missed lessons.

Regarding my chores, I did:
laundry on Mondays
ironing on Tuesdays (followed by activities and shopping, remember?)
church night on Wednesdays
special projects on Thursdays (sewing, special baking, etc.)
house cleaning on Fridays
All of this was woven between cooking and the help the kids needed. On Monday, I would start the washer, teach a reading lesson, load the dryer and reload the washer, teach a phonics lesson, etc., sometimes asking a child to wait a moment while I added bleach to a washload, or something. It was always like that. I often ironed while administering a spelling test, the teacher’s book right there on the ironing board as I worked. At 11:30 each day, I began lunch and no one was allowed to ask questions about schoolwork. The teacher had clocked out; I was the lunch lady, a private joke of ours.

For Field Trips, I gauged the day according to the schedule for the trip. Once a year the Field Trip was to the County Fair, and I closed school. When we stayed up nights for meteor showers, we slept in the next day. Mmm . . . .  Many times I told them the Field Trip would be exactly like a Tuesday.

Get this: because my kids were constantly plugged into this schedule, I could say, “Don’t forget the Field Trip today; it will be just like Tuesday, only we’ll leave a half-hour later…” and I could know they would know exactly what to do about it.

Of course, when they are little, you just tell them what to do. After they learn to read is when all this locks in, as you will see, shortly.

Now that we’ve mentioned the little ones, let me confess I almost never stood up and lecture-taught my children. After they learned to read, we handed them their books and required them to read for understanding and follow directions. The olders were free to ask me when they had troubles, but not during the littles’ math, reading, or phonics lessons. The beginning of each school day was for getting the littles squared away and working and I taught the littles on the couch in the cuddling mode.

Exceptions? Yes, when they worked on Mapping the World by Heart, I jumped right into it with them and we all learned this alternate method for learning. Loved it. Also, when they began typing, I started them in the summer so they could learn the way I’d learned, which included dictation.

They got their practice at taking notes from lecture in church. I required they take notes from the sermon, for which we always received a helpful outline, anyway, so that was tailor-made.

In my school, if they had a problem with a lesson, they did not interrupt someone else’s lesson, nor my lunch preparations or phone conversations. They re-read or set it aside for something easier, until a better moment to get help.

Indeed, from the time they were in 3rd grade, on, they worked independently. They self-taught. They learned to prefer that, because it was faster. And they scored their own work (except essays) with the goal of learning quickly what mistake to correct. Each paper was reworked to 100%.

(Don’t worry. The score keys were in my kitchen, only red ink could be used for scoring, red ink pens were forbidden outside the kitchen, they could not keep going to score the same subject 50 times a day, and we always made spot checks for cheating, since being the parents, we knew when to suspect . . . )

The kids knew how to schedule their own work each day, even. Inside the front of each text book, I would write things like: 2 pages per day, one lesson per week, one unit per month, etc. Thus, in two weeks, they should have 10 pages, or two lessons, or half a unit done, and they knew it. And they knew I knew it. This method did take some oversight.

I could not just watch soaps and eat bonbons.

However, we had a schedule that we lived by for nine months of each year.
We had a schedule their dad or I could check on and see if laziness was creeping up.
We had a schedule anyone could step in and help for a day or two if we had to be gone.
We had a schedule that so freed me that after the sixth child was born, I began writing for magazines.

And the way we did it was to give our kids the following small chart for keeping track of their weekly goals. They filled in the chart. They crossed off each completed goal. They did the work. They self-taught. They finished before summer. They got summer jobs. They got high ACT scores. They got scholarships. They finished college. They got jobs.

And on and on, and I think. partly, it was because they learned the wisdom of living on schedule.

The child’s chart:

Child's goal schedule

Okay. That’s all I know about schedules! If you had trouble understanding, let me know in the comments or the contact page. If you loved this, share it with those you know need it.

❤ K

Posted in family, Food, Thanksgiving

Polly’s Apple Pie

Not for the novice cook. 😦 Sorry.

Polly was the mother of one of our dearest friends. She lived a life punctuated with fabulous sugary creations. We have found we need to eliminate lots of purely sugary downloads, but I make exceptions for Thanksgiving or very special company.

This pie is one of the exceptions. The secrets to it are: real butter, too much sugar, and the baking time and temp. The bottom crust will be a bit difficult to manage, but you will NOT care.

I promise.

Every “Pie Day” I wish I’d written this apple pie recipe to share. So here we are, at 3/14/16 (pi, rounded) and it’s no use; I never have.

The trouble is, I don’t have a recipe.

But if you are experienced enough at cooking pies, you can make sense of this recipe, I am sure.

Polly’s Apple Pie!

Set oven for 325 degrees.

2 pie crusts made with egg, butter, and vinegar
One deep-dish pie plate made of glass.
1, 3-pound bag of good cooking apples
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon (optional—I don’t)
1 stick real butter
small amount of additional sugar (optional—I do)

  1. Roll bottom crust and place into large, glass, deep-dish pie plate.
  2. Do NOT peel apples. Wash, core, and slice as thinly as possible (about 20-24 slices per apple, at least.)
  3. Mix apples with sugar and pack as many as possible into bottom crust. You may have to rearrange them to make them all fit. It’s worth it.
  4. Cut butter into fat slices and arrange over apple slices.
  5. Roll top crust and vent many times. Apply to pie and seal carefully.
  6. Spritz top with water and sprinkle with additional sugar, if desired.
  7. Bake at 325 degrees for 90 minutes. (Yes, one and a half hours.) Do not place anything under the pie for catching spills. It will spill over, probably, but it’s worth it. It caramelizes. You will not believe this pie and will gain a new respect for an oven with a spill in it. I promise.

Okay, friends, this is the secret to the most amazing apple pie you ever, ever ate:

  1. Real butter.
  2. Too much sugar
  3. Bake in glass plate at 325 for one and a half hours

Even apple-pie-disdainers love this one.

Come back this fall, and I’ll add a better photo. 🙂

Posted in Food, Recipes

Second Place Chili Recipe!

Almost winning a chili contest. Yikes!

My son wanted to enter a guys-only, chili-making contest, and asked me to teach him how to make a pot of chili.

So I did. This is my favorite recipe, and I promise I only told him what to do—I did not touch it, the entire process.

Smoky, hot, and red throughout I love it, even for breakfast with an egg on top. Oh MY!

And among a city-wide field of about 15 entrants, he won second place. Yay! (First place tasted like spaghetti, so…)

I thought you’d like the recipe. It’s involved, but we do love it. Here goes:

Second Place Chili

3 strips bacon, cut up
1 whole onion, chopped
2 pounds lean ground beef (93/7)
1/4 cup chili powder
2 quarts canned whole tomatoes
4 cups cooked cannellini beans and broth
3 cups cooked hominy, drained
1 small can tomato paste
1/4 cup catsup (optional)
1/8 cup Worcestershire sauce (optional)
1/2 teaspoon black pepper (or to taste)

Fry bacon in large soup pot on medium, until crisp. remove from grease and save. Add onion and ground beef to bacon drippings and fry, stirring, on medium until both are somewhat browned. Add chili powder. Stir well and allow to rest for a few minutes.

Add all vegetables, including tomato paste. Stir well and simmer for one half hour. Add catsup and Worcestershire, if desired. (I used to add this, but we’ve grown to prefer it without, these days.) Stir in pepper at the last minute. Top with the fried bacon and serve with dill pickles spears, cornbread, sliced cheese, and sour cream.

Serves six.

What about it—do you like black pepper in your chili?

Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?

A Week of Answers – Space and Budget Squeeze

Mountains in Ecuador
Mountains in Ecuador

Dear Katharine,

My husband and I are becoming missionaries. Our current home is in Hawaii but he spends a lot of time in places like a mountaintop in Ecuador. We have three children and are fairly certain we want to continue home schooling them, although some of our friends say we will waste my missionary education. My question is how to provide effectively all they need in a way that will store in a maximum of six feet of shelf space. That truly is all we can spare for their materials, so I want to find some way to do without regular curriculum. Also, when we want to take our children into the field, how can we make school as portable as possible? Our life is rather flexible or relaxed and our funds are low. Is there a way that is really good, that you can truly recommend?  –Dina

Dear Dina,

Yes. And you are not alone.

Let me start by emphasizing that missionaries are not the only ones with little space, low funds, and the need to travel. Several home schoolers that I have known had the same question.

Those who work in building construction are one very mobile group that includes many home schoolers. Those who work in the music ministry business are another.

How to fit it in, how to afford it, how to make it portable, are questions I hear frequently.

Wasted?

Missionaries are also not the only ones accused of wasting Mom’s skills on a mere lapful of children. We must be careful to realize that people base these accusations on the popular devaluation of children, the opposite of the ways of Jesus, Who took them up in His arms. Your friends would let you reach out to Ecuadorian children with impunity, right? Why not to your own?

Inexpensive.

There are some incredibly inexpensive ways to make learning happen, though, and they all take very little space. The first resource that comes to my mind is the Bible. Since you lead a flexible life, I suggest you try the idea of studying all the concepts presented in the Bible.I think you would never run out of “curriculum”.

For instance, in Genesis 1:1, you could study the earth for a month. Of course, you probably do not know everything you would like to share about it, so my second recommendation is to obtain a set of encyclopedias (for about $5.00 at garage sales, and the older, the better) or at least a world almanac (a few dollars at a discount store.)

One thing you would never have to do, in Hawaii, is make a fake papier-mâché volcano. You could just visit a real one and learn about it, probably all you want to know, without cost, in a tourist center, right? It would make a good study.

For spelling, you could work on “created”, “heavens”, and “earth”, and add words like them, to teach the different “ea” pronunciations.

For math, older children could calculate things like the circumference, diameter, and volume of the earth.

And then comes Genesis 1:2, in which you study oceans, spell words that compare to “form”, “void”, and “covered” for various sounds of “o”. Do you get the idea? You are probably thinking of many other ideas that I am not, just because you know what God wants you to teach and I do not.

Your mission.

  • If you are surrounded with people of many nationalities, obtain their input, please.
  • Introduce your children to many missionaries and let your children reap the richness that would never fit onto any shelf, but is inherent to your life.
  • If you speak any Ecuadorian languages, your children should too, so get busy creating a bilingual home. Really, social studies should be a breeze for you.

A little-known fact about most reading curriculum is that many of the accessories are optional. In fact, if you can find moral, age-appropriate material at your library, use that. As long as your children are reading, they are learning more about how to read. You could just read the Bible. For phonics, stick to very simple books that you read to them while pointing, and explain a lot. Or , buy a few workbooks for first grade, to get over the phonics hump at first.

Math.

For math, you may feel you need one text per grade, per year, which you sell or lend once you do not need them any longer. Alternatively, you can  teach the basics as you remember learning them when you were little, incorporating the lessons into your daily lives.

Are we still fitting onto your shelf? Good! We are almost finished shopping.

All I would suggest after the above is a book on scope and sequence (which will help you gauge the math lessons, if you do not obtain texts), a good collection of moral classic literature, a good Biblical world  history, and a good English handbook.

Actually, with those four and the Bible, you could probably skip the encyclopedia as long as you have a public library. Since most missionaries have outstanding computers and Internet service, you might even skip the library and obtain information from outer space.

Once you master this way of teaching your children, you’ll be able to visit Ecuador with them, teaching with nothing but the math book and your Bible. It will unfold itself to you in a way that only God could explain, but perhaps with which you already have much familiarity. When you are in the field, in other words, let God be your explanation and your scope and sequence. All of us could use more of that input in our home schools, anyway.

This method, as you requested, is really good, and I can truly recommend it. God did not leave out one particle of important information in His Word, and when you lean upon Him, He will guide you perfectly. You already know that.

Finally, I cannot over-emphasize the importance of forming or joining a support group. Even if only one other missionary mom is home schooling, but will store half the encyclopedias on her shelves, you both will gain. You could share all the above resources, cutting both your expenses in half. This says nothing of moral support, but you would certainly find that, too, not to mention prayer support.

Yes, you can continue home schooling your children, and you must. Nothing else will accomplish the very things you desire.

May God bless your efforts!

Love, Katharine

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Posted in Home School, Homemaking, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?

A Week of Answers – Counting Blessings

Dear Katharine,

I have such a problem with my goals wandering, and with thinking that others have it easier than I do. When I look around me, I see all sorts of boosters–IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES! Mine, though, looks jumbled and behind schedule and difficult, to me. How can I be sure or even know if I need to make some changes?  –Alissa

Dear Alissa,

It is easy.

First, make a list of everything that is going well, going okay, going not too bad, not as bad as it used to be, or not as bad as it could be, for you, lately.

I mean, look at your house: are the floors easy to clean? List that. Then look at your car: are the brakes decent for a change? List that, too. How about clothing: do all your boys have jeans that are long enough? List it. Try curriculum: is yours making school easier? List it. Go on to list one good thing about your schedule, your meals, your field trips, your P.E., your quiet time, and your day.

Then imagine that these things were actually happening to others, around you.

Imagine that Sue has easy clean floors, Sally has a car in good repair, Sylvia has decent jeans for all her kids, Sarah has a great curriculum, Sandy has begun having quiet time, and so forth. Wouldn’t that make you feel like they had some sort of better home school?

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.What you will see is plenty of reasons to think that the grass in greener on YOUR side of the fence, too., and that others could easily fall down the same slippery slope that you have, if they were looking at you and doubting themselves.

Whatever is going right, look to the Lord, not others, and count your blessings! Do this exercise every time you feel inadequate and it should help.

Then remember this little true story: A mom used to feel guilty about seeming to get the ironing done just at the last moment for someone to wear it, barely squeaking it in at the nick of time. However, one day her son had to write, in one sentence, a definition of happiness and he answered: “Happiness is a warm shirt in the morning.”

You see, children naturally love their own home, whatever that means, so smile and RELAX!

The important thing is fulfilling the command to teach your children, right? God will bless that. And if something is truly missing from your life, the above exercise will probably bring it to light.

Katharine

Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?

A Week of Answers – Why Am I So Tired?

This week we are studying from the questions of others, what to do, how to do it, and why. Hope you enjoy this series and learn lots from it. This second letter is from a mother of three, ages five to ten, and asks a very good question. Enjoy!

Taking a break on Bond
Taking a break on Bond (Photo credit: pamhule)

Dear Katharine,

I’m so tired and cannot even say why. I can remember when I used to do so much more and now I hardly can get out of bed. It’s odd because I’m not so tired in the middle of the night. Anyway, I just wonder if there’s some trick to being all the things a home school mom needs to be, and keeping at it. I mean, am I forgetting something?  –Shelly

Dear Shelly,

Maybe you are overlooking something. It is easy for us to become caught up in the bustle and not realize we are adopting different habits. Let’s honestly look at your life a moment and ask a few questions, okay?

  1. Do you read your Bible, daily, and pray? I always slip away from good attitudes when I slip away from the Author of all goodness. We cannot expect to succeed if we break the rules about keeping in contact with the Lord. Are you forgetting to rejoice in the Lord? It is the joy of the Lord that is our strength.
  2. Do you ever get a break? Nearly everyone else gets breaks, you know. People take vacations from their jobs all the time and return very refreshed.
    Of course, you cannot just abandon your children and husband for a week, but you can abandon the thoughts and cares for a few minutes and take little imaginary mini-vacations while you read or bathe.
    By the way, are you doing too many things? Do we really need to provide dance, music, art, sports, and oratory lessons for each child, for each semester and attend each meeting and field trip? Is that why we do this? Are you ever at home, as in home school? Maybe you are running yourself ragged.
  3. Do you take care of your body? When moms forget to take vitamins, take a walk, take a nap, or take time off from caffeine, they usually are tired, whether they homeschool or not. The body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and we should be good stewards of it.

There you have it–questions that cover all three aspects of the whole of a person: spirit, soul, and body. You should now realize a few changes you need to make. 🙂

If all the above does not apply, I would like to ask you if you might be either ill or depressed.

Sometimes illness can masquerade as tiredness and sometimes depression can hit us from the side very unexplainably. If your tiredness does not fall into any of the three categories above, you may need help from a professional.

I am a professional mom, but I may not be the professional that you need. You may need a doctor or a good, Christian, pastoral counselor. If you think that may be the case, I pray you not delay–you owe it to your children.

Love, Katharine

Posted in Wisdom

A Week of Answers – Am I Called to Home School?

This week we are studying from the questions of others, what to do, how to do it, and why. Hope you enjoy this series and learn lots from it. This second letter is from a fairly new homeschooling mom with deep-core issues. Enjoy!

Homeschooled children in the kitchen
Homeschooled children in the kitchen (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear Katharine,

I guess I’m the only one out here who doesn’t get it. When I go to support group meetings, I always hear moms talking about how God told them to home school, or something, and we didn’t do it that way. In my case, I just decided to try it last year, to see what all the excitement was about. So far, I’ve liked it, and here we are. Outside of relaxing a little, (who wouldn’t?) my two kids (ages seven and nine) don’t seem much different. Am I maybe not “called” to home school like these other mothers? Couldn’t God really want my kids to toughen up some, by being in the schools? Does home school really prepare all kids for every type of career?  –Mackenzie

Dear Mackenzie,

No. God does not want your children to toughen up in public.

Let’s talk about that first, because He may have been leading you more than you realize.

English: Oak Tree
Oak Tree (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Adults are like oak trees. A beautiful, tall, old oak tree is tough. If you run into one with your lawn mower, the tree wins. Right?

How does it get that way?

Simple: Oak trees get huge and tough by not being mowed over when they are young and tender.

Children are young and tender.

Children, in general, however, can be very cruel.

So can life.

It can feel a lot like a lawnmower.

For this reason, God put children into families, with parents to protect them, comfort them, and strengthen them. They actually obtain their toughness this way, in the home. They have to be taught how to be tough, and it is therefore the parents’ job to teach this toughening. How can you protect, comfort, and teach your children toughness when you are not with them!

Do you think their teachers will wrap them in their arms, cry with them and remind them that God sees and cares and can help them be tough? I think not; it is against the law, in the teachers’ imaginations.

That is why children relax, as yours did—and mine did—when they finally come home.

The curriculum:

Unless your children are very above normal in obedience and kindness, they will create opportunities for you to help them learn how to be oak trees.

Surely they swipe toys, neglect chores, sass, or maybe even resort to violence with each other, just as all kids are prone to do. Even the most well-behaved children got that way by being TAUGHT—NOT to steal, NOT to be lazy, NOT to rebel, and NOT to bonk brother on the head.

And those who miss this teaching grow up to steal, be lazy, rebel, and use violence. Hmm.

What else?

There is another type of toughness that has little to do with sin, though. This type will go out on a cold, rainy, November morning, and vote. It will volunteer for storm clean-up. It will take up the Bible-study leader’s slack if he has the flu.

This type does not occur on the playground, much.

In fact, this self-denying toughness is missing throughout this world. You can give your children the advantage of this type of toughness, though, which is the real preparation that everyone needs for every type of career out there.

It is great preparation even just for college.

Home schooled children succeed in college, more than children from any type of collective educational situations. Did you know?

And more…

Your other question, about your calling, is harder. I cannot answer for your friends’ feelings or their communications from God.

Let’s just say that God has commanded us to teach our children all the time–when we sit, walk, lie down, and get up. (Deuteronomy 11:10) Sounds as if we need them at home, doesn’t it? In fact, it sounds to me as if God assumed we would have them at home and does not always issue a special call for it.

Also, His command or assumption that we write and read (Habakkuk 2:2) makes it very important that we give our children the tools for those activities, and it just does not always happen in the collective schools.

The risk of our children falling away from all the good things is too enormous. We should keep them where they will not be mowed down, and where they will be watered, nourished, and trained to grow straight and tall.

Given time, they will toughen just fine.

And they will not grow up to be lawnmowers.

Love,

Katharine