Dear Katharine,
I have such a problem with my goals wandering, and with thinking that others have it easier than I do. When I look around me, I see all sorts of boosters–IN OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES! Mine, though, looks jumbled and behind schedule and difficult, to me. How can I be sure or even know if I need to make some changes? –Alissa
Dear Alissa,
It is easy.
First, make a list of everything that is going well, going okay, going not too bad, not as bad as it used to be, or not as bad as it could be, for you, lately.
I mean, look at your house: are the floors easy to clean? List that. Then look at your car: are the brakes decent for a change? List that, too. How about clothing: do all your boys have jeans that are long enough? List it. Try curriculum: is yours making school easier? List it. Go on to list one good thing about your schedule, your meals, your field trips, your P.E., your quiet time, and your day.
Then imagine that these things were actually happening to others, around you.
Imagine that Sue has easy clean floors, Sally has a car in good repair, Sylvia has decent jeans for all her kids, Sarah has a great curriculum, Sandy has begun having quiet time, and so forth. Wouldn’t that make you feel like they had some sort of better home school?
What you will see is plenty of reasons to think that the grass in greener on YOUR side of the fence, too., and that others could easily fall down the same slippery slope that you have, if they were looking at you and doubting themselves.
Whatever is going right, look to the Lord, not others, and count your blessings! Do this exercise every time you feel inadequate and it should help.
Then remember this little true story: A mom used to feel guilty about seeming to get the ironing done just at the last moment for someone to wear it, barely squeaking it in at the nick of time. However, one day her son had to write, in one sentence, a definition of happiness and he answered: “Happiness is a warm shirt in the morning.”
You see, children naturally love their own home, whatever that means, so smile and RELAX!
The important thing is fulfilling the command to teach your children, right? God will bless that. And if something is truly missing from your life, the above exercise will probably bring it to light.
Katharine
Home's Cool! 
I am going to do this.
Yay! 🙂
How easy it is to see all the “not good enough” and miss the “just right.” I asked my husband years ago to please tell me what I have done right, to voice the good things he notices. And he does, and it is so helpful. I really love hearing, “The bathrooms look good, dear,” when I have taken the time to scrub.
But I had to ask him to say it. He is not the sort to speak up, all the time, as you know… 😉
No, he’s a quiet one! That also can be a blessing! 😉
I’m sure we all need help knowing what another person wants or needs. You are wise to tell him that, and he is wise to remember to do it! 🙂