You can never go home.

The Prescott Family Home

The Prescott Family Home (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I posted two fun posts awhile back, here and here, but they always bothered me. I think maybe I allowed the posts to get off the point. Perhaps I even mistakenly pointed it in the wrong direction.

I wrote about motherhood, about whether we do anything or not, about pay, about respect, and tried to do so in a humorous way.

From this distance, though, I am beginning to think a tiny bit differently, and that tiny shift can make a big difference.

The whole topic is not about motherhood, as we joked. It is not about pay or even about volunteerism. I have just realized it is not even about work.

If I confused anyone, I am sorry. Pretty sure it was my fault.

So What’s It About?

It is about WHERE we work.

Those who loaf at a polished desk are counted in the work force if that polished desk is not at home.

Those who stay actively busy for 20 out of 24 hours, producing, advancing society, trying to improve life for everyone they touch, are not counted in the work force, if they do all this at home.

This is really, truly, about the destruction and devaluation of the home, and, guilty by association, the stay-at-home woman.

Go home. If you do, you will finally grasp what life is all about.

Ten Ways to Spot a Manipulator a Mile Away

Breguet_manipulator

Breguet Manipulator

Oh, don’t we all find ourselves caught in a web prepared by some manipulator, sometimes?

It can be so hard to extricate ourselves. I am sure we would love if they wore beepers, so we could walk far around them.

In a way, they do.

I would love to share about this, in hope of sparing someone out there, if possible. Following are a few of the many signs of a controller/manipulator personality:

  1. They usually do not have their own lives under control. You know the ones–3 times the size they should be, scream at their children lots, talk too loudly, abuse substances, have barely a pathway through their overly-stuffed home, etc.
  2. They do not delegate well, and want to be the only one able to do the job right. We wish!–Because they volunteer too much and think they are good managers, even assume bogus titles to prove it, right? They are prideful and want you to think they know everything.
  3. They ignore you, flatter you, change the subject, or know someone ELSE it applies to, but don’t self-apply good teaching; usually can’t get the Spritual application of it.
  4. They gossip and gripe. Gr-r-r!
  5. They want special privileges and unnatural private time. A lot.
  6. They are resistant to, or even terrified of, proper authority, proper control.
  7. They are long on doctrine, short on loving understanding; they try to confuse the mind.
  8. They can become quite angry.
  9. They often have been deeply wounded in the past and may be driven by avoiding further hurt.
  10. They always, always have the person they manipulate, or “own”, foremost in thought and speech.

Okay, this is the short list. There is more, but the big thing to remember is that these people feel so insecure, it is sad. They do what they do to feel more secure, usually, to try to keep everything under control and at arm’s length, to avoid pain.

Note: Just because you have a PhD in blogging, need to lose 70 pounds, like me a lot, and send me personal notes of encouragement, it does NOT mean you’re trying to manipulate me!!! Just don’t google my phone number, call me, and rant at me for an hour, and we’ll be fine! 🙂

Oh, and the mother/child relationship is different. You are supposed to devote lots to your children, cherish them, think of them always, manage their little lives, etc. Most manipulators, although they should, do not do this.

Just remember one day, when they’re grown, you will have to let go of your children. Manipulators usually do not do that, either.

To see these concepts in action in the Bible, read about the lives of King Saul and Prince Absalom, in 1 Samuel 9 through 2 Samuel 19. David’s reaction to both was mostly good.

Click here to read the next page of this series!