I posted two fun posts awhile back, here and here, but they always bothered me. I think maybe I allowed the posts to get off the point. Perhaps I even mistakenly pointed it in the wrong direction.
I wrote about motherhood, about whether we do anything or not, about pay, about respect, and tried to do so in a humorous way.
From this distance, though, I am beginning to think a tiny bit differently, and that tiny shift can make a big difference.
The whole topic is not about motherhood, as we joked. It is not about pay or even about volunteerism. I have just realized it is not even about work.
If I confused anyone, I am sorry. Pretty sure it was my fault.
So What’s It About?
It is about WHERE we work.
Those who loaf at a polished desk are counted in the work force if that polished desk is not at home.
Those who stay actively busy for 20 out of 24 hours, producing, advancing society, trying to improve life for everyone they touch, are not counted in the work force, if they do all this at home.
This is really, truly, about the destruction and devaluation of the home, and, guilty by association, the stay-at-home woman.
Go home. If you do, you will finally grasp what life is all about.
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I think your intent and message came across more clearly than you think. Your clarification here makes sense, too, and I think it’s right in line with what you said before.
My daddy always taught me that motherhood would be the hardest job I’ve ever loved. And it is TRUE. I would give up everything else this side of heaven, if it meant I could hang onto that one thing. Wife, mother, homemaker. Compared to that, everything else is just ketchup on the meatloaf. Kinda nice, but unnecessary when there’s so much good stuff in the meat of it all.
Motherhood surely is a hard job, one of the toughest, but for me, explaining why I do it from the home instead of hiring it out, is harder. I think the folks around me, themselves, are harder, have felt they had to be, to still their consciences, or something. Even most of the men I know do not really believe a woman should be at home.
Being gone used to be the exception.
Now staying home is.
So sad for the home.
I guess what I wanted to say this time ’round is that being at home is the meatloaf and children are often part of it (not always–mine are grown and gone) sort of like the aroma of the home.
“So What’s It About?
It is about WHERE we work.
Those who loaf at a polished desk are counted in the work force if that polished desk is not at home.
Those who stay actively busy for 20 out of 24 hours, producing, advancing society, trying to improve life for everyone they touch, are not counted in the work force, if they do all this at home.
This is really, truly, about the destruction and devaluation of the home, and, guilty by association, the stay-at-home woman.
Go home. If you do, you will finally grasp what life is all about.” AMEN AMEN AMEN…. perfect. And it is no wonder that so many marriages disintegrate. With the devaluation of the home and homemaker, it is seen as no loss (whether the woman works at home or polished desk). It is all devalued, and can all be outsourced.
But as we know, life IS about the home. It has INHERENT value, and cannot be outsourced. GREAT post, Katharine!!
Thanks so very much, Kate. I knew you’d “get it”.
And you are right: The absent woman, be she mother or not, does contribute greatly to the breakup of the home. Devalued. Yes. Outsourced. Yes. Inherent. Yes.
Nice post!
Thanks, 1CB, and welcome to Home’s Cool! 🙂