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Home School, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Kinds of Babies

Posted on May 25, 2011May 22, 2015 by Katharine

Our firstborn son was bookish. From an early age, he could “read” himself to sleep. (They were pre-school picture books.) He loved lining toys in rows and dressing like and imitating his daddy. He was a visual learner.

My friend had two boys who disliked reading, although they loved a good story and she could hold them enthralled for hours if she read to them. Having difficulties with bookwork, they aced the hunter-education class, which was all lecture. They were auditory learners, picking up most input through the sense of hearing. Which explains why her sons could hear Mom calling for chores better than mine could?

Some children love to learn by touch. They love science experiments, lap books, and many other sorts of projects, whereas my kids cringed at them, resented the time they seemingly wasted. Math manipulatives greatly help tactile learners, even if it’s just Popsicle sticks. Coloring a picture of a horse can teach them more than hearing or reading a description of one, but riding a horse will teach even more.

I had one child who learned the most by talking about it. Oh, he could read okay, but until he reproduced what he had learned, his lesson was not done. He was one who also learned better when moving, so when he bogged down as an older child, he would slide over the piano and pound out some Rachmaninoff and then could study better. And then he proceeded to become a computer whizz.

What lesson do WE learn from these learners?

All of our children may look alike, but have extremely different insides.
Our daughters may look like us but have their dad’s personalities.
A perfectly excellent curriculum may not work for one child as well as it did for the others.
Einstein and Edison could both be immensely successful, although one was bookish and the other was not.
Institutionalized teaching of scores of children via the same methods will never work.

All of which statements are another good reason to homeschool.

Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Scripture, Wisdom

So What if I Don’t Want To Forgive?

Posted on April 23, 2011April 24, 2011 by Katharine

What if I do not forgive? What happens then?

Several things:

I am not forgiven. In the book of Matthew 6:14-15, as Jesus is teaching His followers how to pray, He adds the admonition that if we do not forgive others, then God does not forgive us. It almost sounds like the unforgivable sin!
I bind the sin to my children. In the book of Exodus 20:5-6, God tells us the consequences of unforgiven sin pass down to several generations. It makes sense. If I dwell on someone else’s sin for years, I start acting on this input. But there is more. If I am not forgiven, then instead of lining up with God, I line up with His enemy. How can that bring any good?
I do not loose the sinner. In Matthew 16:19 and 18:18-35, even Jesus’ own followers had questions about forgiveness. He then taught them: when we forgive something on earth, it is forgiven in Heaven. This very thing happened to Saul of Tarsus, who later changed his name to Paul. When Stephen was stoned to death (Acts 7:60,) his last words were of forgiveness for his killers, of whom Saul was one. What if Stephen had not forgiven him? Would we have the writings of Paul, today?

Here is what I used to teach my children when they were young and beginning to discover that friendship is not always all fun. Sometimes they would get into little tussles and strike back or hold anger against others. So I said:

“If someone does something bad to you, it hurts. I know.

“But if you just do something back to them, it does not help you. You still hurt, and now they hurt, too. What good does that do?

“If you stay angry and then someone innocent comes along and you strike out at that person, you STILL hurt, and that new person hurts, too.

“You are trying to get rid of your hurt by giving hurt to someone else. But when you give it to someone else, it does not mean they can take it AWAY from you. They may take it, but they cannot take it AWAY. You leave them hurting, too, and they may try to get rid of their hurt by giving hurt to someone else, who also cannot take it away.

“It’s a little like the flu. I can give it to you, but then we both will have it. It just spreads.

“Only One person can take hurt AWAY, and that is God. If you give all your hurt to Him, He can take it away from you and make you feel much better.”

Now, maybe that was too simple for an adult, but it is true. It’s what He died for. Why not try Him out?

Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Sayings, Wisdom

Denial, Excuses, and Folly, OH MY!

Posted on April 22, 2011March 15, 2014 by Katharine

: English: Cross in the village of Úsilné, České Budějovice District, Czech Republic with the writing ‘Blessed be the Lord Jesus Christ’. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There sure are a lot of wrong theories and sayings about forgiveness out there, these days! Most people have heard them all, too many times. And although logic tells us something is wrong, we strain to forgive according to all we’ve heard, and cannot figure it out. Nothing seems to happen and several of our victimizers do not stay forgiven very long at all.

What!

To get a grasp on exactly what we are supposed to do, let’s first eliminate all wrong thinking upon which some people may be trying to convince us to act. For instance:

Denial

Forgiveness is NOT saying, “Oh, it’s okay.” When someone has done hurtful wrong against you, IT IS NOT OKAY! It should make us feel all rotten inside to say it is. Why? Because spreading wrongful hurt is not okay; it is sin. Sin is not okay with God; how could it be okay with us? Saying it is, is denial. It’s just plain ol’ living a lie.

Only say, “It’s okay,” when it was not sin, was not intended as sin, and was not received as sin. Only say, “It’s okay,” if you would be okay with it happening again.

Excuses

Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. How can anyone forget something on purpose! We have miraculous brains that function largely by memory. We do not have back-space keys for our brains. God can decide to forget something, if He wants, or cause us to forget something, but we do not have that kind of power.

Thinking we must forget, in order to prove we have forgiven, sets us up for making excuses. We say, “I’ll never be able to forgive that, because I could never forget such-and-such.” Or we think we have not forgiven because memories keep resurfacing, so it must be hopeless to try. What a wide-open door for excuses!

Folly

It is neither safe nor wise to trust someone who has proven himself to be untrustworthy. To send a youngster back to a bullying classroom or molesting teacher, to lend more money to someone who has not repaid, to tell a secret to a gossip, is just plain folly.

We must forgive those who sin against us, but we do NOT have to trust them again, in order to prove we have done so. We certainly do not have to feel guilty for helping put such a one in jail, if his sin was illegal.

Besides, trust, by its nature, must be earned, cannot be demanded.

So What IS Forgiveness?!

If we look up the word, “forgive,” we can find the original meanings of its ancient parts: to give far away.

Think: Where would you put all that pain, if you could download it? How far away would be far enough? The farthest possible distance from this existence is: in God’s hands. When He takes it, it’s gone.

Giving it to Him can feel like work, but it is forgiveness and is far less work than dealing with the current agony.

Forgiveness is SAYING, “I forgive you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
(Yes, it is like writing a check on His checkbook to pay a debt, which we cannot actually do unless we are His.)
It is a transaction, like writing off a bad debt. Our feelings may be screaming, but it is not about feelings; it is about getting past this great wrong and moving on with this life. It’s about positioning ourselves for the next life beyond.
Forgiveness is REFUSING to remember the sin against the sinner.
Yes, it was a bad debt; no, we will NOT mentally send bills to “debtor’s prison”. That part is over.
Forgiveness is MINISTERING to the sinner.
Maybe the only safe or possible thing we can do is pray for him, but because we, ourselves, have been forgiven by so marvelous a God, we are freed and filled with power to do so.
Seeing this is a mark of true forgiveness.

Now we have dealt with the why’s of suffering and forgiveness, and we have defined terms. Come on by tomorrow and get the HOW-TO and some FAQ’s.

See ya’.

Inspiring, Sayings, Scripture, Wisdom

Ashes to Ashes?

Posted on April 20, 2011April 20, 2011 by Katharine

Okay, today being Ash Wednesday, let’s talk about suffering and forgiveness.

Even those who sniff at what happened on Calvary will have to admit, whatever it was or whatever it meant, it happened at around this time of year and those who celebrate it do so at this time of year.

Usually when I talk on this subject, I ask everyone who has ever suffered unfair treatment to raise his hand.

This is not about illness, but about medical error. This is not about car wrecks, but about DUI. Ever suffer from either of those? This is not about miscarriages, but about forced abortions—I know you are out there. If you have never suffered from someone mistreating you, then I KNOW you know someone else who has so suffered. It is altogether common.

And today I begin addressing it and giving you tools to help yourself or help that acquaintance. Someone you know needs this post and the ones that will follow, so listen up and spread the word.

Why Does Suffering Come to Us?

1. God. Common folks blame the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. (Why do we never blame any other presumed gods?!) But those who blame Him must first believe that He exists, so if you claim atheism or agnosticism, do NOT let it be because you blame what you consider a non-existent entity. Is that fair? Of course.

So if we believe He exists, if we believe He is “up there” to be blamed, then the main way we can know anything about Him is to consult His writings.

In His writings, we find that He made everything very good. Not messed up, like it is now.

It. Is. Not. His. Fault.

2. Man. Then God gave man choices, Life and Death, and we chose death. So here we are. He TOLD us, for our own good, what to do and we did the opposite, did not obey. Even today, even those who think maybe there is a God, even those who claim to love Him totally, do not always obey, choose death. Admit it.

And what a lie, today, that the only way to be pro-choice is to choose death! Really, we do NOT think!

However, the only way God’s creation can work well, is if every part is working together, just like a motor or a body. Anything wonky messes up everything. We must fall in line with His business plan if we hope to benefit from all His goodness.

Many people do not line up with Him. They line up with His enemy, instead. This is the constant battle between good and evil. Helping the hurting. Protecting the innocent. Guarding the airports. It is a constant battle—even inside ourselves—to make any good thing happen, because of the constant attack on all things good.

3. Satan. According to the words of the God we are tentatively agreeing might exist, Satan hates God and all things good. So—he hates all creation. He personally hates every human being because they are all potential containers for God, his chosen enemy. He especially hates firstborn children, because they remind him of Jesus. Are you a firstborn? Ever notice anything?

To give himself significance, Satan thinks he must fight God. Steal! Kill! Destroy!—that is his motto. And his secret formula is to get man to join him. Anything he can do to trick man into cooperating with him, he will do, if he can. Anything to cause thievery, death, destruction will suit him just fine.

So, if you are not a Christian, you truly could say, “The devil made me do it.” But it doesn’t get anyone off the hook . . . .

Okay, all this was introduction. Tomorrow we begin the main deal and you won’t want to miss it, so sign up, so you won’t forget!

And share! Thanks!

See ya’ tomorrow.

Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Coping Confidence

Posted on April 14, 2011April 13, 2011 by Katharine

A friend wrote me recently, wanting help with a course she is taking. She asked me how I cope when I feel inadequate or when I lack confidence.

I had to think about that one! I decided I have several different methods of dealing with lack of confidence, depending on the occasion. I will list them each, with their own coping skill, okay?

When I am forced to relate to someone I feel is wealthier, prettier, skinnier than I am. I realize that if we all feared this, then that person would have NO friends. And maybe truly has no friends. It makes me think of them as a normal person with feelings, instead of an extension of their wealth or appearance, and instead of accusing them of rejecting me before it even happens. I guess I think more about their feelings than mine.
When I have to speak on an unfamiliar topic. I make outlines, and practice, practice, practice. Still I will be nervous, but this helps.
When I think I may be lost, or I may become lost, because my navigation skills are so below par. I ask for directions a lot. I tell myself to calm down because anyone living in this, the wrong place, might have to go to the right place, where I meant to go, so there must be a concrete way to get there. I guess I just realize it is not a total disaster and it is fixable.
When I have too much to do and yet, have to get it all done. I make prioritized lists and stick to them. Also, I delegate.
When I am asked to do something I know I cannot do. I just say NO. I figure I would want anyone else to tell me truthfully if they cannot do something for me, so I just tell them. Truthfully.
If I have to apply for a job. I make myself relax, do my best, and figure “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
If I think I need to tell someone they are wrong. I weigh out the consequences for this person and if it is serious, I try hard to begin and end with something nice to say, but slip the bad news in the middle. If it is not serious, I try hard to get over it, to accept this person’s ability to make a mistake in his thinking.
When I have to drive in the capital. I just grip the steering wheel until my knuckles pop, grit my teeth until I have a headache, and go. I will be SO stressed out afterwards, though!

There you have it. I could not think of any more for my friend, but probably will just before I fall asleep tonight! Ha. 🙂

What about you? Do you know any good coping tricks? Feel like sharing? We all could use ideas . . .

Homemaking, Inspiring, Wisdom

There’s Hope For Me!

Posted on April 13, 2011April 12, 2011 by Katharine

Today let me tell you about one of the loveliest writers I know.

I don’t really know her, I guess, as we have never met in person, and she probably seldom reads my writings, although I read hers. She inspires me through her simple, sweet tales of taming chickens and frosting cupcakes, weeding and traveling, speaking events, and her little deaf and blind pooch, Dixie.

The dog is a profound parable to me. She loves and provides for it although it could hardly fetch slippers or newspaper, or ever protect her from much, and probably is more needy than anything else. Being deaf and blind, it revels in her touch, probably the main way it can feel “all is well”. I can think of only one reason she bothers with this pet: She just wants to, perhaps out of mercy. It reminds me of me and the Lord.

To top it off, her name is Hope. How prophetic for everyone she reaches!

Hope recently wrote a great introduction to her weekly writers’ post. Although it makes a point about writing, at the same time it is an appealing description of everything we should be. My blog is not about writing but I am a writer and I recognize great communication when I see it. I absolutely love this rendering of my exact thoughts and I have received Hope’s permission to copy it here, with her contact information.

Visit her soon!

DO YOU WRITE FROM SCRATCH?

There’s something about a box cake mix that shouts short-cut to me. I was raised by Martha Stewart, Jr. Actually Mom is a few years older than Martha, but she had all the moves before Martha became a household word.

No box cakes in the house. Uh-uh. All from scratch. And if you didn’t have a family recipe, you relied upon a Southern Living Cookbook for no-fail recipes. But you did NOT open a box. And heaven forbid you tried canned frosting.

That kitchen work ethic has stuck in my head. Having grown up on homemade fixins, I can taste the difference. Guess that’s why I garden. If I can cook with the real ingredients instead of freeze-dried, frozen or canned, I just feel more accomplished…healthier…proper.

Writing is a scratch recipe. No excuses and no substitutions for the long haul in developing a good story. If you want it quick and easy, it doesn’t taste nearly as good – to you or to those you serve it to.

There’s something about carefully measuring ingredients to get it right, even if you have to repeat the recipe to make it rise, brown, or bake properly. Nothing beats the look on someone’s face when he tastes an original combination of items married into a perfect recipe. You have to admit, when you savor homemade then taste a box mix, the difference is striking. Simply, one is memorable; the other is not.

It’s like comparing Gordon Ramsey’s gourmet risotto to powdered macaroni-and-cheese.

There may be times where five-minute mac-n-cheese fills the bill. Maybe you throw a cake mix into cupcake molds for a second-grader’s birthday party where all they want is the icing and sprinkles anyway. But memorable? Don’t think so.

It takes time to create anything from scratch. The trial and error aspect of it is what makes the end result so superbly satisfying. The balance is better, the flavor sublime, and the experience is one remembered for a whole lot longer.

After all, who marvels over a mix? Every church bazaar baker understands that made-from-scratch miracles make other cooks jealous . . . leaving them with a craving to duplicate the success.

Thanks, Hope! I’m going to work on my kitchen work ethic . . .

And now, Friends, here is where you can read more of Hope’s writings. What a treasure house she is building!

C. Hope Clark
Editor, FundsforWriters, www.fundsforwriters.com
Writer’s Digest 101 Best Web Sites for Writers – 2001-2010
A decade of recognized excellence
Blog – www.hopeclark.blogspot.com
Twitter – www.twitter.com/hopeclark
Facebook – www.facebook.com/chopeclark

Blessings of Habit, Home School, Homemaking, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Spring into Cleaning with – Eventualities

Posted on March 15, 2011December 2, 2017 by Katharine

Another reason we practice Spring Cleaning has little to do with clean.

Read:

The next in line for the Spring Cleaning ritual in our home is the bookcase area. We own enough books to fuel a small school, because we were once exactly that. You may wonder why I do not store some of them —

I have.

Let’s pretend, though, that yesterday’s scenario has aged five years, and the three imagined daughters are now 12, 10, and 7. You’ve been practicing inclusion of these girls for five years and now you are ready to tackle these bookcases. Your conversation might go like this:

Girls, help me get a couple of these bookcases done today, okay? Mary, get the dusting spray, the vacuum, and the paper towels. Hmm, I think we need this table cleared to stack the books on it. Can you take care of that, too, Mary? Thanks.

As we put the books on the table, we’ll stack them all in the same direction and then we can vacuum the tops of them all at once. Oh, yes, we should align the tops of them to make it easier. And keep them in order, so we won’t have to reorganize them. I think this will work.

Okay, let’s see if we can do two units in a half hour. Set the timer. Go!

Look at this old crocheted bookmark from Grandma—I want to clean and starch it. Set it aside for later. Someone make a note; we need to reinforce the spine on the “B” volume of this encyclopedia.

Thanks for collecting all our supplies, Mary. Can you attach the hose and the duster? Good.

Let’s hurry, here. It’s a big job. Susan, can you see the top shelf or do we need the step stool. Go get it, then, Leah. I want you two on the dusting job and I will vacuum the books. Try hard to keep the spray off the floor. It can be dangerously slick. And be sure you wipe the corners well and get all the spray wiped off.

Okay, start handing me books, in order, and I’ll restack them in their places. This is going well, time-wise, but I think we’ll stop in the middle of the second bookcase, so we don’t go overtime. No need to wear ourselves out with such heavy work.

No, I think we’d better stop short of that. There’s always tomorrow. Let’s call it done for now, and have some tea, okay? Then I want to show you all how to wash a delicate piece of crochet. Mary, you take care of the vacuum. That’s my girl.

Oh, how good it is to have all your help, girls! I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Can you see how, since the girls have received diligent training, they have become like extra arms and legs for the mom? Not only that, but also, they are learning good, quick, efficient work habits they can take with them into their futures.

In exchange for all the training you gave them before, you now are reaping great helpers. They, in return for their help, are receiving a gift many people lack: the ability to be diligent, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working members of their future worlds.

Wherever they go, whether into marriage or some other career, they will be ahead of their peers and rise quickly to betterment at every possibility.

It’s worth 30 minutes of my time.

How about you?