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Sunday Scripture – REFUGE

Posted on February 20, 2011February 19, 2011 by Katharine

I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me.
Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.

I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”
Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.

Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

–Psalm 142

Womanhood

In the Maelstrom

Posted on February 17, 2011February 16, 2011 by Katharine

Time for a totally honest blog.

I just finished reading a lengthy public apology written by a sweet, unassuming lady who has been attacked with nasty politics on the blogosphere. Her reply to the meanness around her was well-thought-out and gently, but firmly, put.

I wish I could have her popularity on the Internet, but not enough to attack her.

I wish I could have her calmness under fire.

She looks, in her lovely Madonna photo, to be many years my younger. She is incredibly beautiful, like Mona Lisa. Her baby could have been painted by Raphael. Everything about her blog is all sweetness and light, happiness and help. To me.

To others it has seemed to be some sort of Internet poison, or something. The vitriol aimed back at her was dammed up by the asininity of failed Internet connections. Once the log jam broke up, I’m sure it nearly swept her away. Now, no matter what she does, it seems no one is satisfied.

My heart is broken for her.

And I am afraid.

That is why I thrust out boldly to make this assertion: No matter what, when good people try to do good, there will be others who love—yes, LOVE—to do evil in return. It has always been that way and always will. They will grumble and rumble and lash out with lightning bolts. They will feel threatened and judged. And they won’t know why, although they will think they do.

Only recently I attempted to reach out to someone who had posted a very sad and touching poem on a blog. All I said, since I was, after all, a stranger, was, “Someone cares.”

The poison I received in return, and that was published for all to see, right below my name on that site, was breathtaking. How anyone could contain that much pain is beyond me, but now I think it is a common occurrence. I am sure I got only the tip of the iceberg because that’s all anyone ever gets. At first I was numb, then saddened to think probably this person is beyond help. Very saddened. When I apologized and stated that I had not meant to offend, but only to comment on a poem that perhaps I had misunderstood, I received no reply.

Of course.

As, probably, will this sweet young mom.

But she has supporters. She has a wonderful family situation. Her fans absolutely love her. She will survive. But her totally wise decision, to withdraw from the melee, is a loss to the whole world.

I never was going to blog about blog. It reminds me of meditating on toenails. But this is really about something else, isn’t it?

And I wonder if the holders of the reins, up there, have any idea.

And if they’re too busy to care.

And if I’ll be next.

Believe it or not!, Inspiring, Scripture, Wisdom

An Anatomy of Pain – Remember, the World Hurts, Like a Sledge Hammer

Posted on December 21, 2010January 29, 2019 by Katharine

Why it Hurts – Sticks and stones . . . you know names can hurt worse. A bruise from a stone heals in a week or two, but the pain from name calling can last as long as your memory. It can last as long as we let it.

We can let it hurt for ages.

Do we want it to hurt? Maybe there’s something inside us that does. Do we feel proud if we can get that lower lip to quiver one more time?

I mean, people, IT HURTS!

Right? People notice? They pet us some more? They feel sorry for us?

Maybe not.

It’s just the world – People! Them! It’s not my fault, remember! No, it’s just the world. We forget something: “In this world ye shall have tribulation.” It’s a promise from God, but not one of those promises we name and claim, is it?

Jesus told us. He warned us. We should know it. It’s part of being alive. Tribulation, from the Latin root meaning sledge-hammer. How appropriate. The alternative is leaving this old world behind. Being alive in this world includes getting hammered. Being alive in this world also includes being part of it. We are such sloppy communicators and such confused listeners, no one can help being part of the trouble.

God also told us, “The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?” I think that is part of the pain, too. We think we know so-and-so would never say that. We find out each person is capable of hammering on us. We think, finally, this relationship is secure.

Nope. Never.

As long as there are people, and that includes you and me, there will be hammerin’. People will hammer. They will hurt and not apologize. They will apologize and not sound sincere, not even know what they ought to have apologized for. It’s just the heart of man, including the women.

Sometimes, oh, I dunno, it seems, especially the women.

People don’t know what to apologize for because they have no idea they did anything. They truly have no idea what they are doing half the time, no idea what they’ve done. They say, “WHAT?!” and they mean it. What have I done? What is it THIS time? What?! They don’t know what they’re doing.

But we don’t remember something. The beloved voice that said, “In this world ye shall have tribulation,” also said, “Be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.” He did not mean He could lick any enemy of ours in a moment, although He could do that. No, He meant He has overcome the whole mess, you and me included. The whole world—He could lick it all in a moment, and He will.

The God who said, “The heart of man is desperately wicked,” also said that He knows our hearts. Oops. Scary business, that. On top of that, He told us to rejoice and look up when it got really bad, because He would be close on the heels of the Very Worst Day. When That Day comes, we’d better be ready.

We’d better be cheered up!

More tomorrow.

Inspiring, Wisdom, Wives, Womanhood

An Anatomy of Pain

Posted on December 20, 2010April 28, 2015 by Katharine

This is not about physical pain, although all women, and especially all wives, are great experts at physical pain. After having 6 children and around 2000 migraines, I certainly am.

But this is about the pain that attacks your soul, the confusion, indecision, and heartbreaks that can blindside us all.

Like when the doctor tells you morning sickness is all in your head.

Let’s just face it: The happenings in life are often unfair. We devote a third of our government to being sure life is fair, but unfairness still slips in, doesn’t it? A lot, right? It’s not enough that a child dies, but it sometimes must be that someone killed him. It’s not enough that a woman loses her husband, but sometimes it must be that some other woman stole him. It’s not enough that a house burns down, but sometimes it must be that an arsonist started a forest fire.

Isn’t that how it goes?

And it hurts most when friends and family are the perpetrators, doesn’t it? When your child is ungrateful, it hurts more. When your husband is lazy, it hurts more. When someone at church lies about you, it hurts more. When your mother gets on your case, it hurts more.

Sometimes that’s just how it goes.

And sometimes, even that is not enough. Sometimes we also must go through these hurts alone. Having no defenders makes it tougher. Having no one to confide in intensifies it. Having no one just hurts. More.

Since I’ve been experiencing considerable pain, lately, I thought talking to you would help me keep my brain right-side up. Oh, I’ll share no real details, but generalities should be enough to help you help me help you. What about it?

Wouldn’t it be a good thing if we could turn our hurts into help for others?

I’m in. Let’s take a week to do an autopsy on mental and emotional pain. Let’s take every part out and learn what goes wrong and how to right it.

Maybe you know someone else you could share this with. Or send it to.

Maybe we all can feel better, think straighter, laugh more.

More tomorrow.

Husbands, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom, Wives, Womanhood

Tired, Alone, and Scared Half to Death

Posted on October 13, 2010February 6, 2011 by Katharine

I wish I could know if your questions were for “maybe someday” or if you are actually experiencing real danger. There is such a huge difference.

If you think your husband might soon kill you or your child, you must get yourselves out of danger and seek guidance from strong Christians in your area.

Let me explain. The reason you stay married to your husband is that you have promised, before God, that you would do so. It is a covenant between you, your husband, your neighbors, and God. You promise your husband, “I will always be here, except for death.” You promise your neighbors, “I accept oneness with this man, so no one else can have him, anymore.” You promise God, “I will be a picture of your Church and her relationship to Your Son.” We do not break such solemn promises.

God gives us another covenant responsibility, though, when He gives us a child. You and your husband both have a huge responsibility to make sure the life of your son is good for those around you. It is wrong to bring to birth and then fail to train a child to be an asset to his neighbors. First, though, you have a responsibility simply to make sure he lives.

If your husband is threatening or trying to kill either you or your child, he is trying to end one of these covenants that you must keep. Therefore, you must do whatever it takes to keep yourself and your child alive. Flee. Hide. Get help, even police help, if needed.

Escaping death does not mean escaping the marriage, though. Once you are certain you are safe, then you must return to your husband, in safety. If this means counseling for either of you, or arrest for your husband, so be it. If he is jailed, you must witness to him, etc., as a loving wife would. You are not divorcing, just trying to keep the marriage covenant, just trying to keep the covenant with your son, by trying to stay alive.

I wonder, though, if your questions are hypothetical, that is, if you were supposing and just wondering. How easy to imagine that “the worst” might come, just because some hard things have come! It is especially easy to imagine worst cases when we are very tired and run down. Is this it?

One day, when looking up Noah Webster’s definition of suffering, I discovered a treasured revelation: He says, “ . . . We suffer with anxiety. We suffer by evils past and by anticipating others to come . . . ” Anxiety, past evils, and anticipated evils are all suffering we take upon ourselves. This suffering does not befall us; we take it up. It is not happening now, we borrow it from another time zone. The human creature amazes me.

You have been through a lot to have this child, but so has your husband. Certainly, it has not been all roses for him to have his wife out of commission for a year and a new baby in the house, to boot. Maybe his irritation and frustration have escalated just when your patience and strength have taken a nosedive. Maybe his decisions are blurry, too. Maybe the best thing for now is to wait. Wait. Have courage and wait. Cheer up and wait.

Husbands, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Wisdom, Wives, Womanhood

Tired and All, All Alone

Posted on October 12, 2010February 6, 2011 by Katharine

How quickly solitude can flip, can convert to loneliness!

No one else you know has just delivered a baby, at your age, right? Where can you find support?

No one else you know lives with quite such a quarrelsome husband, right? To whom would you dare confess?

You are not all alone, though, if you have Jesus. This may sound trite, but really, the truth is timeless and we’ve run out of different ways to say it. He is always there for you. His care for you continues even when you are too tired to care for yourself. His love for you increases even when you’ve lost the strength to love.

Jesus knew sleep deprivation, too. He knows how you feel, even better than I do. He stayed up, sometimes all night, on several occasions. They used to call it keeping watch. He kept the night watches, praying all night, seeking and finding the will of His Father.

I sympathize with His sleeping during a storm on a small boat. We sleep when we can, those of us who have interrupted nights, don’t we?

Jesus also endured temptation to give up. Sometimes He voiced the temptations He faced. Once He even said, “Oh, how long shall I be with you?” How uncannily familiar that rings! Almost, you have proposed the same question: How long must I endure an obstinate partner? Is this really God’s will? How long is long enough or too long?

Yes, Jesus was tempted to give up. He knows the way out of all the temptations, too. In the words of a famous song, “You never gave up./You never gave in./You never said, ‘No, can’t take any more of this.’” That was Jesus.

Do not forget to turn to Him every day. You can ask Him for strength and He will give it to you. This is the truth. His strength is the only thing that can sustain us through a tough time. Eventually, after I recover from my attitude, those times become my favorites, because of the glory of observing His hand working in my life! It is so wonderful to be able actually to SEE Him at work, changing me to be the way I wish I were.

Jesus can make so much progress in my life, where I seem to improve so slowly, if any, on my own.

I pray for you, dear Sister, and possibly many of the readers do, too. By God’s grace, I will not let you down. Christian sisters are supposed to uphold each other. What a joyful gift from God! What a privilege to share your burden with you! Bask in His love. Lie back and rest in His care. Cast it all upon Him.