Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Health, Home School, Homemaking, Inspiring, Wisdom

The Lost Thanksgiving and . . .

I have a surprise for you.

I recently mentioned resenting interrupted Thanksgiving Days, but today’s post begins the tale of two interrupted Thanksgivings and their attending blessings. Hope you enjoy them.

The first one was when my youngest two sons were about 8 and 6. We were about to leave for our annual “over the river and through the woods”.

Our children had laid out all their clothing according to the master list I provided years ago and stored in each suitcase. (Remember, I was a home-school mom.) Last minute details on cleaning the house before we left were panning out nicely. (I was a bit OCD about coming home to a dirty house.) (Okay, I was a bit OCD about “what if we had a wreck and someone had to come into our house . . . “)

Anyway, we were near completion on everything. The only thing remaining was supper, baths, and sleep, during which I would pack all that nicely laid-out clothing and then sleep during the trip.

I was on schedule and smiling at myself on the inside. In a carefree voice, I told my kids to go out and play, that all the biggest chores were done.

In a few moments they came back inside, the 8-year-old with his arm broken.

My husband had a late meeting that night, so it fell on me to drop all packing chores and take the poor babe to the doctor. It was so late, I called first, and our wonderful family practitioner said if I came straight there, they would stay open for me. That was blessing #1.

One x-ray told all: My son’s injury was the type of break that would require an orthopedist to finish breaking, which was a surgical procedure requiring an overnight stay in the hospital. So after a couple of calls to my husband and to our house, we traveled on to the next town and succumbed to the ministrations of ER. Once there, the inevitable questions came, about who and how this child could be so severely injured. It was a downer, but along came my husband’s close friend, who happened to be the ER physician on call that night, to vouch for me, and to give me his own phone number for “who to call in case of an emergency” when I could not remember my own mother’s phone number. Blessing #2.

(That poor ER nurse was certain I was a childbeater, but what could she say?) Blessing #3.

Anyway, our family doctor had called ahead to our preferred orthopedist, who dropped everything and came to our rescue. Literally, he arrived in the ER in a tux. When I apologized for calling him from such a special occasion, he said, “Are you kidding? I would have taken any excuse to get out of there!” I count that as blessing #4.

Sure, enough, our son had to remain in the hospital overnight, and our entire plans for Thanksgiving were canceled. Our families, 500 miles to the north, were totally disappointed, as we were, too, of course, but we all were more concerned about this little boy and his well-being. Hard to recognize blessing #5. Hey, not everyone has this kind of understanding in their families.

If you’ve read many of my posts, you know we take Thanksgiving Day quite seriously in our family. I immediately began thinking about the get-together our small Bible-study group had planned, for celebrating Thanksgiving, that we had thought we would miss because of going to be with family. I made a couple of calls and we soon had a very special celebration lined up with these other people we loved almost like family. Blessing #6.

The boys sign the cast
The boys sign the cast (Photo credit: samwebster)

Our son was mending, but still woozy from pain killers, and even then, still in some pain, but we all went to celebrate with these friends in one of their homes. They took us in like the orphans we felt we were. All their children treated our injured son to amazing understanding and rare privileges children reserve only for those times when life pleads that we be kind. (Blessing #7)

We were glad to be there, to be thankful for blessings we knew of, never realizing that God was busy, preparing other blessings not so obvious, indeed, of which we could never have even dreamed . . .

Tomorrow: Thanksgiving Found!

Posted in Believe it or not!, Health, Inspiring, Photos, Pre-schoolers, Scripture, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom, Womanhood

Sunday Scriptures – Family

A monument dedicated to the unborn victims of ...

. . . Defend the cause of the fatherless . . . Isaiah 1:17

Isn’t this what families are for? We stick together and help the weaker among us. Right?

I’m not a Catholic, but we’re all part of the family of man, right?

This from Life News:

“Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is at it again, bashing Catholics for their pro-life position when she has promoted abortion in defiance of Catholic Church teaching at every turn.

“This time, Pelosi is upset that the nation’s Catholic bishops are protesting a potential O**** administration decision forcing insurance companies to cover birth control, contraception and drugs that could cause abortions. They say certain religious groups may not be exempt from providing the insurance, which would violate their moral and religious views.”

And then Pelosi added, ” . . . they have this conscience thing . . . ”

Read more here.

And be glad if you have a conscience. It is not a bad thing to have, no matter what anyone says.

___________________

Image via Wikipedia

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Health, Homemaking, Inspiring, Photos, Recipes, Who's the mom here?

Smoked Turkey

Smoked Turkey
Image by BBQ Junkie via Flickr

Now. May I talk you into smoking a turkey sometime soon? We have found it a most welcome way to introduce turkey into a meal. Many people prefer the taste of it.

Some say smoked meats keep better because of substances in the smoke that penetrate the surface of the flesh. It makes sense if we consider that charcoal is a good purifier and preservative. This does not mean you need not refrigerate a turkey that has been smoked, but everything we can do to make meat safer to eat is probably wise.

It’s definitely the easiest way to prepare turkey.

Besides, don’t you think the Pilgrims smoked theirs?

Smoking food is not hard but you will need a smoker.

I saw one that a friend had built of brick and it made wonderful smoked chicken. If you have natural stone you could probably build a small smoker with almost no cost. I’ve heard of hanging meat down a chimney, but I know nothing factual about that and I am a terrible climber. A stainless steel smoker with electric start costs in the hundreds, too fancy for me. The most reasonably priced smoker at our local discount store is less expensive than a stand mixer, and comes with good instructions and recipes. When I consider how often we smoke something, it is worth it to me.

Do make or buy the type that can have a water pan and a temperature gauge. Our gauge says “ideal”, instead of 170 to 210 degrees, which is the ideal temperature range for hot smoking meat. (Cool smoking can take weeks.)

In a smoker like ours, which is a cylinder about three feet tall and eighteen inches in diameter, use about five pounds of charcoal. Light it (do not use petroleum type lighters) and wait for it to turn white, just as you would if grilling food.

At this point you may add a couple handfuls of green hardwood chips, such as hickory or apple, for extra flavor, or you can buy dry chips and soak them in water for this use. DO NOT ADD PINE OR OTHER SOFTWOODS. They give a chemical taste.

Place a wide enamel pan holding about a gallon or two of hot water over (not on) the charcoal. Set a wire shelf or grill on the pan and the turkey on this shelf. Close the smoker and wait 10 to 12 hours. The turkey is done. It is that easy.

If you bought a fresh turkey (or if you raised it yourself) you can serve this luscious food guilt-free and hassle-free. It even should have fewer calories than conventional recipes because it doesn’t stew in its own drippings; they drip off.

Apart from these quality improvements, the one great benefit of smoking a turkey is that it can make the celebration of God’s  bountiful blessings much more fun. Giving thanks is supposed to be joyful and all are supposed to participate. Smoking the meat gives you more free oven space and more free time for other wonderful things like letting your children help.

I suggest you practice smoking meat a few times before trying any big important meal. You’ll need practice to learn to trust the temperature gauge and leave the smoker closed. Any loss of precious smoke and heat just slows you down. Do not open it, especially for bigger cuts of meat, unless the temperature shows that all is not well. Then you must open it and fix the fire. This rarely happens.

A smoked turkey will look raw, if you judge by color, for the meat will be pink, like ham. So the test should be for tenderness and meat temperature. Juices should run clear. Joints should be loose or separating.

It is better to plan to have your turkey done somewhat earlier than “on time”, about an hour or two. The extra time is for deboning. People want to get at the meat, not inspect a dead bird. Once deboned, it can be warmed in a pan with a few dribbles of water and a lid or foil over it, set into the oven at 350 degrees. A thorough heating should remove all doubts of safety for the cautious.

It smells and tastes good enough to eat!

Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared, for this day is holy unto the Lord . . . Nehemiah 8:10.

______________________________

Image by BBQ Junkie via Flickr

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Health, Inspiring, Photos, Wisdom

What to Do if You Are Under a Manipulator – part 2

Tenzin Has A Tantrum
When an adult acts like this…

Yesterday we began a list of 7 tactics a person can try, when forced to deal repeatedly with a manipulative, controlling person. Today’s post is the rest of the list. First, though, we must repeat one fact: these suggestions do not apply well to a legitimate authority who uses a manipulative management style. Now, the rest of the list:

8.  Approach the controller when he least expects it. You call him, for a change. Arrange something irresistible and treat the person to a pleasant taste of his own medicine. He probably will pretend that he knew you were going to call, he was just thinking of the same idea, and will probably insist on paying his own way. Call his bluff, insist on paying, yourself, and make it the type of thing that denies him your presence unless you get a turn at running things, once in a while.

9.  When you just need to get alone and cannot achieve it, witness to the controller. Ask him what the Lord has been doing in his life, lately. Ask him if he has anything really special he could share from his quiet time. If he does not claim salvation, explain his need to him in a rather aggressive way. Ask him how you can pray for him. (It would be really mean to say this if you did not mean it, though!) Either he will go away in a frenzy, or he will hear the Word and be drawn to the Lord. If he is going to insist on tying up your life, let it be time well spent. You may be surprised.

10.  Pray for God’s protection from curses and negative words spoken over your life by this person.

11.  If you find that you simply cannot let go of your demonic manipulator, you probably need deliverance from a co-dependent spirit. Ask your pastor. If he does not believe in deliverance, ask him why deliverance is in the Bible; why Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever; or if the devil is less evil than he once was. As you begin withdrawing from the controlling influence, you can expect to see bizarre behavior such as screaming, silence, accusations, tears, hysterical laughter, threats, weird phone calls, etc. You are probably living with some of this already. It may escalate. Try to remain unruffled. SEE IT COMING; do not say, “I didn’t even see it coming!” Make some accusations of your own, if it gets to be too much, but do not make the mistake of engaging in a verbal battle. Calm reason in the face of total absurdity usually has a powerful way of making a point.

12.  If your manipulator is also your legitimate authority, realize your position means you should usually do what he says, regardless of a very horrid management style. You may escape many of the pitfalls of the manipulation by using #8 (a little), #9, and #10.

Also:
a.  Commit to obey God by keeping His command to obey your governing authorities.
b.  Commit your life and its outcomes to Him.
c.  Re-commit yourself to trusting God’s provision. Only He can change some situations.

Living within the type of agony caused by the manipulator/controller spirit among us is a difficult assignment. I’ve been there more than once. I’ve battled the false guilt, false accusations, public embarrassment, sadness, and sheer weight of this enemy of all people.

The unhappy ones who listen to this enemy of us all and who walk in his ways need help. Until they want it enough to get it, though, we endure as best we can.

I hope this list gives you some usable tools to do what you must do under your heavy load: DO NOT BE AN ENABLER

Tomorrow (Lord willing!): Tiny Hints that YOU May Be a Marionette!

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Health, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

What to Do if You Are Under a Manipulator – Part 1

If you and a manipulative person are thrown in together in a way where you cannot escape, what can you do?

  1. First, realize this does not apply to your God-ordained authorities. This means your pastor, husband, parents (if you are young and single), boss, police, mayor, judges, etc. These people are supposed to have some say in your life and you should do what they say if it is not illegal.
  2. Be careful of receiving gifts, compliments, invitations, etc., especially if they have implied debts attached to them (strings attached). You may feel that God wants you to accept the item, but always remember that anything given to you is yours to do with or about as you see fit. A gift is not a contract. If you did not say you would reciprocate with a certain favor because of what you have received, you are not bound to do so when such favors are brought up after the fact.
  3. Seek God daily about your daily activities. Make God your daily planner, not the person who is trying to be God.
  4. Plan ahead. Decide before the telephone rings how long you need to spend on the telephone today. Decide before you receive an invitation for dinner whether or not you are available to go out. Decide before the next time the person is trying to cry, just exactly what your response should be, then . . .
  5. Do not back down! Make “no” mean NO. you can be very polite and still say “no” and make it stick. Do not worry about what the person will think; these people are not responsible for their thoughts and their thoughts are mostly irrational and unpredictable, anyway. No matter what you do, you will invoke base thought from a manipulator.
  6. Be merciless with the sin of control; love the sinner. You can be very distant from a person for his own good, out of love for the person. You could deny an alcoholic liquor because you loved him, right? This time, you are the addictive substance that is being consumed to the point of abuse. Someone has to stop it.
  7. Don’t major on minors. Allow a little control, if you see that it doesn’t matter, especially at first. Let the person choose your ice cream, parking spot, whatever will soften the initial blow of weaning. Save your insistence for choosing friends, movies, books, etc. Also, if the controller lies about the laundry, for instance, let it go, but if lies about your children pop up, expose them.

Hope this is beginning to make sense. More coming tomorrow!

Posted in Health, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Ten Ways to Spot a Manipulator a Mile Away

Breguet_manipulator
Breguet Manipulator

Oh, don’t we all find ourselves caught in a web prepared by some manipulator, sometimes?

It can be so hard to extricate ourselves. I am sure we would love if they wore beepers, so we could walk far around them.

In a way, they do.

I would love to share about this, in hope of sparing someone out there, if possible. Following are a few of the many signs of a controller/manipulator personality:

  1. They usually do not have their own lives under control. You know the ones–3 times the size they should be, scream at their children lots, talk too loudly, abuse substances, have barely a pathway through their overly-stuffed home, etc.
  2. They do not delegate well, and want to be the only one able to do the job right. We wish!–Because they volunteer too much and think they are good managers, even assume bogus titles to prove it, right? They are prideful and want you to think they know everything.
  3. They ignore you, flatter you, change the subject, or know someone ELSE it applies to, but don’t self-apply good teaching; usually can’t get the Spritual application of it.
  4. They gossip and gripe. Gr-r-r!
  5. They want special privileges and unnatural private time. A lot.
  6. They are resistant to, or even terrified of, proper authority, proper control.
  7. They are long on doctrine, short on loving understanding; they try to confuse the mind.
  8. They can become quite angry.
  9. They often have been deeply wounded in the past and may be driven by avoiding further hurt.
  10. They always, always have the person they manipulate, or “own”, foremost in thought and speech.

Okay, this is the short list. There is more, but the big thing to remember is that these people feel so insecure, it is sad. They do what they do to feel more secure, usually, to try to keep everything under control and at arm’s length, to avoid pain.

Note: Just because you have a PhD in blogging, need to lose 70 pounds, like me a lot, and send me personal notes of encouragement, it does NOT mean you’re trying to manipulate me!!! Just don’t google my phone number, call me, and rant at me for an hour, and we’ll be fine! 🙂

Oh, and the mother/child relationship is different. You are supposed to devote lots to your children, cherish them, think of them always, manage their little lives, etc. Most manipulators, although they should, do not do this.

Just remember one day, when they’re grown, you will have to let go of your children. Manipulators usually do not do that, either.

To see these concepts in action in the Bible, read about the lives of King Saul and Prince Absalom, in 1 Samuel 9 through 2 Samuel 19. David’s reaction to both was mostly good.

Click here to read the next page of this series!

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Good ol' days, Health, Homemaking, Photos, Recipes

Pear Butter

Pears
Bumper Crop

Oh, to bring back the days of sweet, crunchy pears! What memories of delicious fruit we would have forever!

We cannot bring them back, but we can prolong those days by helping the harvest last longer, by canning those pears.

If you are coming into the lovely problem of too many pears, here is how we deal with them–mmm!

1. Core and remove stems, but do not peel pears. Remove bad spots. Drop into 1 gallon water with 1 vitamin C tablet crushed in it.
2. Drain pears. Bring to boil in non-reactive pan (stainless steel or enamel) over medium heat with 1/2″ fresh water in covered pan.
3. Allow pears in water to simmer, stirring,  until fruit is soft, adding water if necessary, to prevent scorching.
4. Mash pears or press through colander.
5. Return pulp to pan and season to taste with brown sugar, and if desired, cinnamon.
6. Reheat until simmering and hold at simmering for a few minutes. Keep at simmering, stirring, during entire process. Add water if needed.
7. Meanwhile, estimate number of pint or smaller canning jars you will need to contain all the pear butter. Wash carefully and rinse these jars. Count the same number of canning lids (flats) and heat in small saucepan of water as directed on box. Set aside and keep hot. Be sure to have one screw band for each lid. Lay one or two jars down in another large pan with 2″ water in it. Cover and bring to boil. Bring to boil another covered pan large enough to hold all the jars at once, with water enough to cover all the jars and rack in bottom of pan to keep jars from direct contact with bottom. (This pan should be a bit larger than your largest burner, and at leat 16″ tall, like a spaghetti boiler. The perfect pan is often called a “water bath canner”. If you lack a lid, a pizza pan works fine.)
8. Using jar lifter, carefully remove one jar from boiling water, emptying into boiling pan, and set it upright onto thick towelling.
9. Using canning funnel and long-handled measuring cup, carefully ladle simmering pear sauce into jar, within 1/2″ of top. Wipe rim clean and dry. Remove flat from hot water with tines of fork. Apply flat and screw band to filled jar, using thick towel to protect hands from heat. Use jar lifter to set lidded jar into tall pan of boiling water.
10. Repeat until all sauce is in jars, in boiling water bath. Time boiling from this time, for 15 minutes. Remove jars and set on clean, DRY towelling. Cover with light towel and allow to cool away from drafts. Do not disturb until completely cooled.
11. Remove screw bands from all sealed jars. (Sealed jars will be indented on top.) Place any unsealed jars in refrigerator and use very soon. Place all others in cool, dark place to keep for at least a year and use whenever you miss those crunchy pears!

We use this in place of jam on buttered toast.

Sometimes I only add white sugar and no spices to this recipe and we eat it like applesauce. Sometimes the pears are so sweet, I skip the sugar, too.

It’s all good!

I do hope these directions were clear. I ‘d be happy to answer all questions here. Remember, the only dumb question is the unspoken one! 🙂