Posted in Good ol' days, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Why do people put children in schools? Part 1

Tired and angry child.

People forget children are not adults. Adults can handle many things children cannot. The adult thinks to himself, “Oh, it won’t be that bad.” But he forgets. Time has a way of rewriting our memories.

We project ourselves onto our children and think of how great it would be to be surrounded with 25 five-year-olds every day for nine months. We think as an adult who has authority and could quell any problem with a child. We forget a child has no such ability and does not even know what to do, let alone how.

Or we look at other kids or our own childhood and think, “They did okay. I did okay. Troubles make you stronger, after all.” That is true to an extent. When air blows over a plant, it does make it stronger, unless it is a tornado.

If we look deeper, though, we realize those who did well in school were taught how, as were most of their peers. In my day, kids were polite. It was considered a huge breach of civilized behavior to forget to say “please.” The child who did this was ostracized. Now it is a joke. It is a different world. It is truly bad.

Bad has always been a possibility, though, in schools. Some were blown away by the tornadoes of troubles they faced. Einstein, Edison, Disraeli, and T. Roosevelt all did poorly in the institutions of their days—very poorly.

If we actually were to place ourselves in our children’s shoes, we would think twice, and that would be good.

Think: if everyone at your workplace were mean to you, had better stuff than you, outperformed you, or got chosen before you.

How well could you cope with that?

Would you change jobs?

They say in those circumstances, a person should change jobs. However, children in those circumstances cannot change jobs. Their job must always remain to go to the school of someone else’s determining. Period.

If you did stay in that job, though, would you seek comfort from family or friends? Sure you would, and you should!

The child, though, often finds his family does not believe how bad it is, as discussed above, or does not understand the enormity of it. And his friends! They are all at the school, all in the same boat! How can they help? The child and all his friends are in a social drain that leaves them socially depleted by day’s end. And then he usually has more school to do at home.

You know how you would resent having to bring work home. Daily. Hours and hours of it.

Yet, you have freedom to leave your job if you want, even to take vacation whenever you want. The child is required by law to remain in his torture chamber for 12 years, at least. No wonder they think of suicide.

We will discuss the solution to this ongoing problem tomorrow. See ya!

Posted in Womanhood

In the Maelstrom

Time for a totally honest blog.

I just finished reading a lengthy public apology written by a sweet, unassuming lady who has been attacked with nasty politics on the blogosphere. Her reply to the meanness around her was well-thought-out and gently, but firmly, put.

I wish I could have her popularity on the Internet, but not enough to attack her.

I wish I could have her calmness under fire.

She looks, in her lovely Madonna photo, to be many years my younger. She is incredibly beautiful, like Mona Lisa. Her baby could have been painted by Raphael. Everything about her blog is all sweetness and light, happiness and help. To me.

To others it has seemed to be some sort of Internet poison, or something. The vitriol aimed back at her was dammed up by the asininity of failed Internet connections. Once the log jam broke up, I’m sure it nearly swept her away. Now, no matter what she does, it seems no one is satisfied.

My heart is broken for her.

And I am afraid.

 That is why I thrust out boldly to make this assertion: No matter what, when good people try to do good, there will be others who love—yes, LOVE—to do evil in return. It has always been that way and always will. They will grumble and rumble and lash out with lightning bolts. They will feel threatened and judged. And they won’t know why, although they will think they do.

Only recently I attempted to reach out to someone who had posted a very sad and touching poem on a blog. All I said, since I was, after all, a stranger, was, “Someone cares.”

The poison I received in return, and that was published for all to see, right below my name on that site, was breathtaking. How anyone could contain that much pain is beyond me, but now I think it is a common occurrence. I am sure I got only the tip of the iceberg because that’s all anyone ever gets. At first I was numb, then saddened to think probably this person is beyond help. Very saddened. When I apologized and stated that I had not meant to offend, but only to comment on a poem that perhaps I had misunderstood, I received no reply.

Of course.

As, probably, will this sweet young mom.

But she has supporters. She has a wonderful family situation. Her fans absolutely love her. She will survive. But her totally wise decision, to withdraw from the melee, is a loss to the whole world.

I never was going to blog about blog. It reminds me of meditating on toenails. But this is really about something else, isn’t it?

And I wonder if the holders of the reins, up there, have any idea.

And if they’re too busy to care.

And if I’ll be next.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom, Wives, Womanhood

The Boundary Around My Pond

Another view of the pond
Another view of the icy pond

Boundaries are wonderful. Without them we could not have ponds. No ponds, no fish. Yes, we like boundaries. I think the fish do, too.

One boundary we think we don’t welcome is the womb. Wombs are wonderful. Without them we could not have babies. I think the babies like them, too.

But we ignore what we know is true and we violate that quiet, safe place for our growing babies, every day. Over 3000 times per day. It is impossible to violate our own bodies and our children’s lives the way we do, and still feel human.

Look at this:

In Pennsylvania, they’ve found a physician/abortionist who has made a profession and a large fortune from violating the boundaries of our wombs. How did he do it? By accepting payment in cash, not reporting his earnings, storing his money at home instead of in a bank, not disposing of bio-hazards, not sterilizing equipment, not providing gowns for patients, and barely paying staff.

Oh, and he sold drugs on the side. Cash, only, please.

More than half the people who went into his “clinic” died. You know, all the babies died, and several of the moms, too. It was just like the good ol’ days, minus the coat hanger. “Safe and rare”, my foot.

The only good thing about it, if it can be called good, is the wording the Philadelphia reporter, Stephanie Farr, used as she wrote her detailed report about Dr. Gosnell’s goings on:

“How many severed baby spines does it take to pay for a $984,000 shore house? How many severed infant feet is a boat worth?”

I am glad she said it that way. I don’t know how she had the nerve to write this truth in such big newspaper, nor how she got by with it, but there it was, on the Internet, for all to see. For all to think about. For all to try to grasp.

Not only does abortion mistreat women; it mistreats babies, violates wombs, ignores boundaries.

And it can turn us into monsters.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Home School, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Same Song, Second Verse; It’s Worse.

Continued from the 18th.

The last time hopeless ideas about homeschool hit the legislature, anyone trained in logic could see: it was not logic. In fact, Arkansas lawyer, Dee Black, of Home School Legal Defense Association, dubbed it, “one of the most blatant  . . . ever seen.” This new piece, hoping to take its place and succeed where it failed, is just as bad. It is “Big Brother” by definition, regardless of the home-school facet of it. It looks—and is—very much like the worst of Hitler or Marx. If he were alive today, you could just ask Einstein. He knew when it was time to leave the German schools and had to flee Germany to do it.

This proposal does not affect only bad schools or bad homes. Any school, however good or bad, can become a target for danger, these days, as Columbine and Nickel Mines proved. Any parent, however good or bad, could desperately need to override the notification date for removing children. The facts are: YOU, Dear Taxpayer, wherever and whoever YOU are, could find YOURSELF desperately and immediately needing to remove YOUR child from school on some date that does not correspond with the August or December deadlines.

When we do insert the home-school element, though, we realize a truth proposed by world-famous author, George Orwell: it seems some of us are more equal than others, aren’t we! Look: if you have the funds to access a private school situation for your child, you may withdraw your child at any time. You retain your freedoms. If you are short on discretionary funds—who isn’t these days?—then you will lose your freedom. And that fact, the fact that only the wealthy Arkansan may have permission to protect his children in Arkansas, is unconscionable.

It makes sense that as an Arkansas taxpayer and American citizen, I should demand equal protection for my school-aged children. It makes sense that a parent should demand the freedom to remove his child from a dangerous situation. It makes sense that the law should trust a parent’s word—how much more that of a psychiatrist, pediatrician, lawyer, or other neutral professional practicing in his own profession!

No decision regarding the safety of a child should depend upon the financial situation of the parent.

No decision regarding the safety of a child should depend upon the financial situation of the state school.

You know, it also makes a sort of perverted sense that a hireling, teacher-lobbyist group, would ask us not to trust the child’s medical, psychological, or legal professionals, but only the teachers.

It does NOT make sense for us to trust the word of a member of a tax-funded near-monopoly. Of course, they think their situation better than yours! Of course, they want more power over your home! Of course, they-and-only-they can know or care about what is best for your child.

But you pay their salaries.

The end.

Pleae forward the contents of this post to everyone you know living in Arkansas. Thanks.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Home School, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Arkansas Freedom

Homeschool freedom or this?Americans want several things from their government. We expect freedom. We expect protection. We work hard for them.

Although most of the people in the entire world homeschooled at one time, the current, popular, en masse return to homeschooling began in America.

This is the do-by-self country. American parents have always grabbed any challenge that might improve things for their children.

Today’s homeschool is American, transcending all barriers, and the school choice of the parents of one-third of our presidents. It is one big expression of the American way. (Two million strong, now.)

Americans in Arkansas, however, have had to fight harder for this way. In some states, few raise an eyebrow at parents desiring to provide the education. In Arkansas, though, parents struggle to stay one step ahead of their legislators. It seems a case of the government attacking the citizens instead of protecting them.

We’re gearing up for battle again, beating back the legislators again (in spare time we want to spend on our kids.) A new proposal is poised to posture itself before the legislature, wasting yet more time and money on hopes for a bill no one wants. Again.

This proposal aims at curtailing our freedom and undermining the privileges and obligations inherent to parenthood.

Lest you think you should yawn at another homeschool gripe, this proposal, if enacted, would make the state the mom, even if you never plan to homeschool.

Especially if you never plan to homeschool.

The time to wake up is now.

Imagine, if you can, your small daughter blood-spattered and traumatized, from seeing classmates and teachers murdered at school, and forbidden to stay home because someone on the school payroll deemed the home (THE HOME!) an unsafe place.

And never mind the child’s own psychologist has prescribed removal from the school situation.

Our new proposal sets this scenario.

Or perhaps your son has refused to “do” a classmate in the locker room. He has been kicked in the lower back repeatedly with a steel-toed boot, is urinating blood, and forbidden to stay home because someone on the school payroll deemed it just not timely.

Never mind the child’s own pediatrician demands removal from school.

The new proposal sets these parameters.

Or try this idea: Your child tells you the most exciting thing he learned in school today is how to put a condom on a dead bird.

Or your mother is near death and your children want to be beside her as much as possible while they still can.

Or your child has MS and must nap daily and eat five times daily and it’s not happening when he’s at school. Not only that, but because his speech is difficult to understand, he is left to sit at his desk and educate himself by reading a dictionary all day, every day.

Or your daughter is receiving sexual threats and her only instructions from school staff?—to kick the bully between the legs.

These things all have occurred in Arkansas schools. Of course, children everywhere are molested, accosted, assaulted, threatened, harassed, or raped while at school. At almost every school. Even the “good” ones.

But in Arkansas schools we would have no recourse.

Even if the children in the above situations were to be excused from attending, in the future Arkansas that we discuss today, it could be after a three-week waiting period.

How can it be that a child could be forced to remain in such a dangerous and dehumanizing situation for three weeks, while grown-ups deliberate about whether or not to allow his removal?

How can the main questions be whether or not the parents need daytime supervision and what the date is!

How can this be happening to Arkansas’ children!

It simply must not be.

Please forward this post to everyone you know living in Arkansas.

More tomorrow.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Inspiring, Scripture, Wisdom

An Anatomy of Pain – What in the World IS Forgiveness??

More than saying sorryWhat Is Forgiveness? – The Word often depicts forgiveness as one of the most important teachings. But WHAT is it? Well, let’s start with what it is not.

Forgiveness is NOT:

  • Saying, “Oh, it’s okay.” You can only say this if no one did you wrong, if you wouldn’t mind if they did it again. It is not okay with God for someone to do wrong. Don’t say it’s okay. That is not the truth. It is denial.
  • Forgetting. You will remember, even after you forgive. We have brains that make decisions based on remembering. Our memories help us be safe. We do not have delete buttons. You are not God; don’t think you have to forget. That opens the door for excuses.
  • Trusting. You do not have to trust an untrustworthy person, to prove you have forgiven him. The Bible often warns against trusting the untrustworthy. We must earn trust; no one can demand it. That is foolishness.

Now. Forgiveness IS:

  • Saying, “I forgive you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Your feelings may be screaming and you may have to pray hard to say these words and to make them true. It’s okay. That is what the throne of grace is for—to get grace to help us in time of need.
  • Refusing to remember the sin against the sinner. It is a contract. Yes, something bad happened, but it is forgiven. The debt is paid. If you wrote off a bad debt as a wedding gift to a young debtor, would you then hope for payment or send a bill? No. It is forgiven.
    Actually, it is a lot like giving it to God. The word “forgive” means to give far. How far is far enough? The hands of God—leave it in His hands. That will do quite nicely.
  • Praying for the one who has hurt you. This is not optional. We are to love our enemies and do good to those who misuse us. It’s okay to do good from a distance, though. A card or phone call may be all you can manage. A secret pen pal note distances you even more, especially if you disguise your writing and mail from another town. Think hard—you can figure a safe way to bless the dangerous ones in your life.

We have to do this, Sisters. We must forgive, or we’re not forgiven, and who doesn’t need forgiving? We have to do this for our children’s sakes, too. When they see our ways with our enemies, when they see how we respond to our hurts, they will believe us more, about God.

And when God steps in and plants the forgiveness in your heart without any help from you, you’ll believe Him more, too.

More tomorrow.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Inspiring, Scripture, Wisdom

An Anatomy of Pain – Remember, the World Hurts, Like a Sledge Hammer

Life can hurt like a sledge hammerWhy it Hurts – Sticks and stones . . . you know names can hurt worse. A bruise from a stone heals in a week or two, but the pain from name calling can last as long as your memory. It can last as long as we let it.

We can let it hurt for ages.

Do we want it to hurt? Maybe there’s something inside us that does. Do we feel proud if we can get that lower lip to quiver one more time?

I mean, people, IT HURTS!

Right? People notice? They pet us some more? They feel sorry for us?

Maybe not.

It’s just the world – People! Them! It’s not my fault, remember! No, it’s just the world. We forget something: “In this world ye shall have tribulation.” It’s a promise from God, but not one of those promises we name and claim, is it?

Jesus told us. He warned us. We should know it. It’s part of being alive. Tribulation, from the Latin root meaning sledge-hammer. How appropriate. The alternative is leaving this old world behind. Being alive in this world includes getting hammered. Being alive in this world also includes being part of it.  We are such sloppy communicators and such confused listeners, no one can help being part of the trouble.

God also told us, “The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?” I think that is part of the pain, too. We think we know so-and-so would never say that. We find out each person is capable of hammering on us. We think, finally, this relationship is secure.

Nope. Never.

As long as there are people, and that includes you and me, there will be hammerin’. People will hammer. They will hurt and not apologize. They will apologize and not sound sincere, not even know what they ought to have apologized for. It’s just the heart of man, including the women.

Sometimes, oh, I dunno, it seems, especially the women.

People don’t know what to apologize for because they have no idea they did anything. They truly have no idea what they are doing half the time, no idea what they’ve done. They say, “WHAT?!” and they mean it. What have I done? What is it THIS time? What?! They don’t know what they’re doing.

But we don’t remember something. The beloved voice that said, “In this world ye shall have tribulation,” also said, “Be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.” He did not mean He could lick any enemy of ours in a moment, although He could do that. No, He meant He has overcome the whole mess, you and me included. The whole world—He could lick it all in a moment, and He will.

The God who said, “The heart of man is desperately wicked,” also said that He knows our hearts. Oops. Scary business, that. On top of that, He told us to rejoice and look up when it got really bad, because He would be close on the heels of the Very Worst Day. When That Day comes, we’d better be ready.

We’d better be cheered up!

More tomorrow.