Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Photos, Pre-schoolers, Scripture, Wisdom

Our Rewarder God

Blue ribbon
GOOD JOB! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!

Everyone who comes to God must believe these two things:

  1. That He exists
  2. That He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

This is truth, according to His Word, which is what we must accept if we accept that He is there to deny, to hate, to dispute, to blame, to doubt, to question, to quote, to copy, to seek, to find, or to acknowledge.

Another truth: all God-haters must admit He exists or their whole life-work has been wasted, right? Same for blamers, questioners, etc. They just miss, entirely, the BENEFITS of His existence, because they do not, also, believe that He rewards, and would joyfully reward THEM.

But He does. He would.

So, it is mandatory to reward our children; we must raise them up in the discipline of the Lord. Reward is one way He disciplines us.

“What?!” you say. “I thought discipline meant things like time-out or skipping dessert!”

While unpleasant consequences are, indeed, a valid part of discipline, God’s Word also shows us that He adds rewards to His method of discipline, which He has commanded us to use.

Why do we fear rewards? I have heard parents say, “I refuse to bribe my children to do right.”

Again, we show our ignorance, because, according to the Word of Him Who requires we do right, bribery—rewarding to do WRONG—is wrong, and rewarding to do right is right.

God’s discipline also includes praise. Consider this: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant . . . ” Or: “This is My Beloved Son, in Whom I AM well pleased . . . “ We cannot deny that He does praise us, also.

So we should praise our own. This is truth.

There is one facet of all this truth that escapes notice, though.

Humility.

His Word says, “Humble yourself, therefore, under the mighty hand of God and He will exalt you in due time.”

His Word says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

As one of His most famous followers said, “He must increase; I must decrease,” and “I am not worthy even to untie His shoe . . .”

We sometimes hear someone who has received great praise saying something like, “Oh, you are setting me up for a fall!” referring to the Scripture that reads, “Pride goeth before a fall . . . “

Still we should praise and reward good jobs, wherever we see them, and especially in our children’s lives. Missing this facet of childhood has caused many adults to grow up warped, never praised, never rewarded, and also never pitied and probably never sent to the corner or switched when they needed that. Undisciplined, they grow up with no self-discipline and probably no healthy concept of God, either, since we learn those from our parents.

Many adults fail to praise or reward other adults, though, and a job well done can make a hurting person jealous. People raised wrong envy beauty, industry, discipline, etc., and often grow snarky instead of praising. We just have to forgive them.

However, it is God, not people, Who watches our ways to give us joy. Humans will praise and reward us, if that is God’s chosen pathway for our praise and rewards to come, but only in due time. He may, though, choose to use His audible voice, instead! Or, our rewards may mostly come in the next life.

But we don’t care. It is a joy to wait upon the Lord. So we patiently seek out His will and try hard to do right, for the joy of pleasing Him, and we humbly wait for that due time, when He will, most assuredly, reward us. Because He IS a rewarder.

And for the snarky-jealous? Maybe we should find some way to give them a bit of the praise they never got during childhood?

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Health, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

What to Do if You Are Under a Manipulator – Part 1

If you and a manipulative person are thrown in together in a way where you cannot escape, what can you do?

  1. First, realize this does not apply to your God-ordained authorities. This means your pastor, husband, parents (if you are young and single), boss, police, mayor, judges, etc. These people are supposed to have some say in your life and you should do what they say if it is not illegal.
  2. Be careful of receiving gifts, compliments, invitations, etc., especially if they have implied debts attached to them (strings attached). You may feel that God wants you to accept the item, but always remember that anything given to you is yours to do with or about as you see fit. A gift is not a contract. If you did not say you would reciprocate with a certain favor because of what you have received, you are not bound to do so when such favors are brought up after the fact.
  3. Seek God daily about your daily activities. Make God your daily planner, not the person who is trying to be God.
  4. Plan ahead. Decide before the telephone rings how long you need to spend on the telephone today. Decide before you receive an invitation for dinner whether or not you are available to go out. Decide before the next time the person is trying to cry, just exactly what your response should be, then . . .
  5. Do not back down! Make “no” mean NO. you can be very polite and still say “no” and make it stick. Do not worry about what the person will think; these people are not responsible for their thoughts and their thoughts are mostly irrational and unpredictable, anyway. No matter what you do, you will invoke base thought from a manipulator.
  6. Be merciless with the sin of control; love the sinner. You can be very distant from a person for his own good, out of love for the person. You could deny an alcoholic liquor because you loved him, right? This time, you are the addictive substance that is being consumed to the point of abuse. Someone has to stop it.
  7. Don’t major on minors. Allow a little control, if you see that it doesn’t matter, especially at first. Let the person choose your ice cream, parking spot, whatever will soften the initial blow of weaning. Save your insistence for choosing friends, movies, books, etc. Also, if the controller lies about the laundry, for instance, let it go, but if lies about your children pop up, expose them.

Hope this is beginning to make sense. More coming tomorrow!

Posted in Believe it or not!, Photos, Womanhood

The Time I Got Lost at Church

The 142-metre-long (155 yards) Potemkin Stairs...
Well--it wasn't quite this big . . .

It was our first time there.

It was big.

We had to park a block away and climb a long flight of stairs just to get in.

But it was good. Really good preaching.

Then the baby needed whatever babies seem always to need when you really want to stay seated in church.

And I made the trek to the nursery, aided by the aides in the hallways. You see, this church really was big. Several stories high and took up a whole block. Just the building.

However, after going down two hallways, down the elevator, and down two more hallways, nursing the baby, and changing the baby, with my geographically challenged mind–I could not find my way back to the sanctuary.

Could. Not.

I also could not find any of the illustrious hallway aides I had used to get so far away from my family. Although I knew not where I was, nor where I needed to go, I could sort of tell where I was going: in circles.

Finally I spied an aide and gave him that sad-puppy look. He asked me if I needed help.

“I’m lost,” I told him.

He raised one eyebrow and shifted his posture.

Oh, no. I didn’t mean that. Not in a Baptist church. Not that kind of lost!

“I mean–I’m saved!–but I can’t find my way back from the nursery to the sanctuary.”

Practically a slide show of faces slid over his face: relief, disappointment, trying-not-to-laugh, sureness.

And he led me, personally, to the place I needed to be, which I was very much farther from than I thought.

And we decided that although it was an extremely pleasant church, we really were more the little church type.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

This. Means. War.

English: Vietnam War Memorial, Hanoi.
English: Vietnam War Memorial, Hanoi. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just finished a good book by SQ. Rushnell containing a moving story about the Vietnam War and the damage it caused. It mentions the memorial, the 500-foot long black wall. It tells of visitors moved to tears by the more than 58,000 unlived lives and living heartaches represented there.

To say they died trying to protect us would be a fair statement even if some disagreed.

We could not say that about some others who have died:

The aborted ones have no memorial to speak of.

Oh, sometimes we display a few wooden crosses to make a statement, a temporary protest. When we put the crosses away later, though, we prove it is not a memorial.

But if a similar black wall existed for these dead, it would have to be at least a thousand times longer than the one memorializing the war dead. At least.

I read that three million people visit the Vietnam War Memorial each year. Hard to believe roughly 10,000 visits per day, isn’t it.

But at that same rate, if the aborted ones could have lived to visit the Wall, it would have taken them about 17 years, just to go there. It is that many.

To buy one rose for each MILLION would cost about $250.

To educate them, the public schools would have garnered about $270 billion.

Per year.

And that’s where their money really went.

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Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Good ol' days, Home School, Inspiring, Recipes, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom, Womanhood

Postaday Challenge – January Favorites – 2

Snowflake
Snowflake

I look out my window and see dead trees, grass that’s brown and crunchy like Wheaties, cat dish always needing water . . . with all the heat we’ve had, isn’t it hilarious to read these old posts! Enjoy!

DAY OFF #2

Repairmen of streets, wires, and buildings will get our roads safe and everyone back in their places eventually.

In the meantime, we play in the snow.

The day begins with Dad shoveling snow and bleary-eyed offspring wandering into the kitchen to ask, “What is that noise?” We so seldom have the pleasure.

Now our snowman stands watch. Our cars are decorated with snow objects. Lots of hot cocoa has slipped away. I enjoyed the crazy antics of our two home-bound adult kids, playing in the snow as if they were grade-schoolers. How thankful I am for the snow! Realizing they can still find joy in each other’s company is bliss to this mom.

ALSO (here comes the fun part) THEY CAN PUT ON AND REMOVE THEIR OWN WRAPS!

THEY CAN HEAT THEIR OWN WATER AND STIR UP THEIR OWN HOT COCOA!

THEY CAN HANG ALL THEIR WET THINGS TO DRY!

THEY REMEMBER TO SHUT THE DOOR!

THEY THINK ABOUT NOT TRACKING THE HOUSE WITH SNOW AND MUD!

I get all the same fun as when they were younger, with none of the work.

Another amazing thing: No one grumbles today that the Internet is “down-ish”. We all have decided to do traditional snow-day fun and forget about the rest of the world. I love it. Board games, non-electric musical instruments, laundry hanging on wooden racks by the wood stove, homemade food, and wild birds have risen to the top of our most-selected interests list and everyone is content.

And I wonder: How is it in other homes? I hope you and yours enjoy a great day, today. I pray God grant you peace and contentment.

And snow.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Home School, Husbands, Wisdom

Postaday Challenge – January Favorites – 1

Sleighing

They recommend we repost something from January. I think I’ll do that for this week. Since the temperature jumps far above 100 degrees almost every day, for us, I have chuckled, reading past entries about snow days, and hope you enjoy them, too. And remember: the special effects folks at WordPress were sprinkling snow all over the place on our blogs, as we read them. 🙂

SNOW AND ICE AND SLUSH, OH MY!

Whew! What a treat this blast of winter has been!

We returned last night from visiting our Texas granddaughter for her birthday, to find our world quite cold and bleak. Now our fires are rebuilt, house is re-warmed, chick water is thawed, and icy crud on the car is knocked off. We literally had to plow our way through winter precipitation along a three-hour drive.

That took four hours.

I was surprised and blessed at how excited our passengers were. Our twenty-something offspring, home on winter break, were like little children as they recalled rare snow days from their past and giggled in excitement over the frightening but beautiful scenes around us.

We all learned much about snow tires, black ice, legalities, and travel safety in snow-slush-ice. My husband, born in Iowa and raised in northern Missouri, practiced every safety tip he knew, as he drove us home. Since we were experiencing his expertise first hand, he used it for an old-time, teachable moment, in hopes the rest of us could somehow be safer one day, should we have to drive in such conditions.

We probably won’t drive anywhere today, though. When universities and government buildings close, it’s time to stay home.

Instead, we will build a snowman. The snow will be perfect and it is deep, from our southern viewpoint: six inches. We will make snow angels and have at least one good snowball fight, although, YES, we’re all adults. We’ll have a huge breakfast with meat, and I’ll cook chili for lunch. Of course, we need more hot cocoa mix, so I’ll stir that up, too.

It’ll be a family day off. Why not join us?

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Good ol' days, Homemaking, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Womanhood

You CAN Can – Help!

carrots
Carrots!

Canning, Gardening, and Kids – Oh, MY!

Since we’ve been on the subject of canning all week, let’s talk about canning and children.

Children who are old enough ought to help. Little ones ought to stay away. Too much is going on for you to trust yourself to watch them carefully. All that blanching and lugging jars adds a safety factor with which they are too young to cooperate, and one act of confusion or disobedience could be disastrous.

So draw a line and make it stick. This is a time when high chairs, play pens, door gates, etc., are proper for the safety of precious little ones.

Let me tell you how we enlisted our children’s help in the garden when the days were blistering hot. We woke them at daylight, and had them dress quickly and go directly to the garden with us. Everyone had an assignment, only 30 – 45 minutes worth of work.

Each one managed his own row, which he kept weeded and proudly displayed to guests. Really, the garden looked good.

The youngest one’s work was to play nearby without walking on garden plants or eating dirt.

Then it was back to the house for our reward. On these days we would have treat-type breakfasts such as cantaloupe and ice-cream, oatmeal raisin cookies, fruit juice popsicles, strawberries on cereal, frozen chocolate-dipped bananas, cheesecake with blackberry sauce—whatever they considered rare and delightful. They loved it! They knew how hot the world would be by 10:00, and they seemed to appreciate my organizing things this way.

Then if we HAD to work in the heat, we would take quart jars of ice water with us and drink straight from the jar. They loved this, too. When such hot work was done, their daddy would throw them squealing into our large stock tank (which was kept for the children, only, and was un-licked-upon by any livestock) and they had water play in their work clothes.

These types of rewards were the heartbeat of our children’s summer gardening memories. They are adults, now, and still remember it with smiles, still do gardening, themselves.

Sometimes they fussed a little or grew competitive, but often the sweet sounds coming from the early morning garden rivaled those of the birds.

Tomorrow: recipes for the surplus!