Tag: patience

Posted in Believe it or not!, Inspiring, Photos, Sayings, Scripture, Wisdom

Me, Myself, and I Ain’t Gettin’ It Anymore!

Posted on by Katharine
Self-portrait as the Apostle Paul (by Rembrandt)
Self-Portrait as Paul the Apostle, by Rembrandt

Not much to say about the following. It is from the Word, and I hope you read it. There’s a test afterward. No fair looking ahead!

This was written by Paul, the Apostle, to illustrate how anyone might feel. He, of course, had moved past this point he describes, by the time he actually wrote it, but his candor amazes and comforts me so!

Romans 7:14-25

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do, no the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? THANKS BE TO GOD–THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD! –Romans 7:14-25

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It is hard for me to believe something so relevant was written about 2000 years ago. This writer did an about-face from being a murdering, self-righteous prig, to someone who would die for others, slave over a parchment with a sputtering candle and a scritching plume/pen in a cold jail cell, just to bring such truths to us. I love ancient writings, especially when they point to the Truth. I introduce this section to illustrate what we mean by the word soul and to show, in case you’ve been feeling weak, lately, how totally insufficient we are, in our own strength, and Who can help.

Paul knew.

Okay, you will find the test in the comments section, as the first comment. No peeking.

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*Image via Wikipedia

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Husbands, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives

Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 7

Posted on by Katharine

Walking on the sea. Schellenberg. In the Bowye...

Reason #7

It Is a Test

The trying of your faith worketh patience. (James 1:3)

Could this be happening to you? To your husband? To your marriage?

Yes.

In fact, you hope this happens in your lives, because the Scripture also tells us, “Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” (Hebrews 12:6) The Lord’s favor, thus expressed, can come in almost any form. Everyone may not always react rightly.

Solution #7: Rejoice always, pray constantly, and give thanks in all circumstances. This is the will of the Lord in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) This is truth.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not believe God originally intended anything for His children except lots of pleasant fruit eating and gardening. Things changed, though. We do not live precisely where He originally intended, and the choice was ours. We get a foretaste of Heaven when we fellowship with the Lord, but everyone knows a foretaste is like a little kiss when compared to full knowledge. It is very good, but not all there is. This is where we are.

The facts are, tough stuff happens to everyone who is still on this earth. We find ourselves in the midst of people who react incorrectly.

This one forgets to love, that one has lost joy, another will not give you any peace. Perhaps you become impatient. Gentleness flies out the window. Someone has a wicked opinion, doubts, pride, or just decides to “let ‘er rip”. Any one of these acts could be your specialty. Any could be mine.

Any could be your husband’s.

So how could your husband’s poor record, if it is related to testing, be working for good? Is he learning about himself or about the Lord’s grace, however painfully? Are you learning new depths of patience? If you overreact, is he forgiving? Are you? Are your children learning about the mysterious union between Christ and the Church by watching the two of you wade through troubles?

Think about it: You trust God. You believe He loves you. You have committed your ways unto Him. How could this be anything except His will, His desire for you to learn, to grow, or to improve?

It is worth it. Knowing Jesus more fully is worth any price. Paul said he wanted to know Him and the fellowship of His suffering. (Philippians 3:10a) Do you? If you do, it will be all right with you if Jesus teaches you. Then, if you become like your Teacher, it is enough. (Matthew 10:24-25)

Sometimes, God wants to show you how His heart is breaking over sin. So He will show you sin. If you run away from a lesson and hole up at home, He will continue the lesson at home. Yes, you should be a home-keeper, but if forced, He can bring any lesson very close.

Sometimes God wants you to learn how to pray. Then you may need something to pray about, for none of us inherently desires to spend time at His feet. Some wives have to see generational sin before they will get busy. If you realize new layers of maturity you need, what is holding you back?

Sometimes the Lord wants to carry you in His arms like a little lamb. (Isaiah 40:11) If you are more like a big goat, you may need a short time of “weakening”. King David said before he was afflicted, he did not understand the goodness of the Lord. (Psalm 119: 67-75) Are you like him? Do you need trouble, now and then, to remember to drink of the sweet, clear water of salvation? We all need Jesus all the time, so a reminder, now and then, is good.

Is it dreary to think of it? Yes, Scripture says all discipline is unpleasant. (Hebrews 12:11) But later…oh, later! Who could pay you to give up the peaceful fruit of righteousness? What would be your price? If you could trade a life of ease for a righteous life, would you?

He will not let you.

The Potter is softening the clay. The Vine-Husbandman is pruning the fruitful vine. The Father is disciplining the precious child. You want to escape that?

No. You want to flow with the ride like a skillful horseman, leaning into the jumps in the race. If you fall off, you want to get back on. You are riding a Champion, Who will take you to the finish line. You will win. YOU WILL WIN!

Once there was a storm. Eleven people cowered in a boat, but one stepped out—into the arms of Jesus. (Matthew 14:29)

Be that one.

____________________

Image via Wikipedia

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Husbands, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives

Seven Reasons Why Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 5

Posted on by Katharine
Isaac Feels Jacob as Rebekah Looks On, waterco...

Reason # 5

He Is Under Demonic Control

No, I don’t mean your husband is necessarily communicating with demons, but others are serving the enemy by trying to take over his life. Does this seem impossible?

Solution # 5: To beat this tricky problem, realize that only God has the right to issue authority. He is the ultimate Authority and controls the entire universe His way. Exodus 15:18 If you can’t understand this principle, learn it soon, because it is vital to joy and peace in the Lord.

How could your husband fall out of line with God’s authority, although he claims to love the Lord?

Does he have a parent who tells him what, how, or when? (He should have left them when he cleaved to you.)

Does a “friend” lean heavily upon him for help, advice, entertainment, or other time-consumers? (He is missing time with his family and his God.)

Does his work situation demand his constant early arrival and late departure? (Although his boss is a legitimate authority, perhaps he needs a new job.)

Is he in crippling debt? Has he made a contract, or agreement (covenant) with the unGodly? He needs to get out, very quickly, if at all possible.

The above are examples of avenues for demonic control.

A Christian man is supposed to be a uniquely sovereign entity, subject only to the Lord and His delegated ones (Matthew 4:10). The enemy, unable to reach him directly, has used someone else to do the job.

What can you do? Not much, unless you consider prayer the catalyst for most of the changes in God’s Kingdom.

Pray with all your might that your husband will have grace to see that only God—or His delegated authorities—should stand over his shoulder, consuming his energies, planning his days and nights. Don’t try to tell, teach, nor command him to do so, though. Pray and wait upon the Lord.

Only, ONLY if your husband asks should you offer insight. Only if he asks should you explain or request a change.

In one area, though, you can do much to affect a change and set your husband free to become God’s man: the realm of your own control over your husband, which is not supposed to happen. HE is God’s legitimate authority over YOU, not vice-versa.

Your husband’s desires or needs should plan your day, not vice-versa.

Your husband should choose the lifestyle you both attempt, not vice-versa.

Maybe your husband came from a matriarchal home, and expects you to dominate him. He may have no idea you desire him to lead. Has it been too easy to take over where your mother-in-law left off, controlling the little boy who barely guesses at the possibility of manhood? As a keeper-at-home, do you enjoy being the authority of this small kingdom, in exchange for a larger one in the business world? Do you like having your way so handily?

Do you have a puppet husband?

If so, repent. You have participated; you have contributed. No amount of explanation will change him, especially at first. The best thing is to submit. Send the children to him for decisions and do not argue. Ask his advice and do not argue. Do not whine. Do not bring it up again when you think he is in a better mood. Do not make that face that only you and he know is an argument, all by itself.

Only when he asks is it time to explain, to confess, and to cry. Before the idea births in him is too early. Just decrease so he can increase. Let him scale a height or two and catch a glimpse of the vision, first.

Otherwise, you risk molding for yourself a nice, authoritative-appearing puppet. What you really want is that God would mold you a real man.

I often wondered how someone like Eve or Sarai could talk someone like Adam or Abram into acting against the amazing revelations they received. (Gen. 3:6, 16:2) Or, how about Rebekah?

Then, when I am honest, I know how it happened. I have seen my fingerprints on God’s clay before. It only takes a look, a sigh, a tear…a little silence correctly placed. You know, too.

Take your hands off the clay and let God work. God is the potter, not you. It’ll take time. It may take a lifetime. This may be your real reason for living. Did God choose you for the highly Spiritual work of tooling a man out of clay? Lie down, then, and be a tool ready, and in His easy reach.

_________________________

Image via Wikipedia

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Husbands, Inspiring, Photos, Sayings, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives

Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 3

Posted on by Katharine
Discouraged

Reason #3

He Is in Bondage

What does this mean?

Just as it sounds, he has cords, chains tied around his life and he is unable to escape from his sins. They pursue him, overtake him, enslave him. He tries to understand. He explains to himself, rehearsing what he will say if confronted, all to very little avail. It is a rut. He is stuck, tortured, crippled. There seems to be no way out. The power of God over sin seems to be for everyone else.

Solution #3: How does this happen? Sometimes (most times) this condition in someone who claims Christ, comes from unforgiveness.

In Matthew 6:15 the Lord tells us that God’s people must forgive others to receive forgiveness from the Father. The man holding others in unforgiveness places himself in grave spiritual danger. He shows that even greater sin lies dormant within himself, awaiting a moment to manifest. He proves his need for the grace of God while risking forfeiture of that grace. In fact, he refuses grace.

Failing to go for grace when he is needy, he becomes enslaved. It is such a potential for great loss.

There is little you can do if your husband’s unforgiveness is plaguing your marriage. If he is sinning, you can hardly stop sinning for him. Your patience and prayers are the best you can give.

It’s a different story, though, if the wife is holding him in bondage through her unforgiveness. In Matthew 16:19, we find that if a Christian forgives someone, he is forgiven in God’s eyes. God gives us that authority. This means that when your husband is going too fast on the highway, you can forgive him and free him to receive grace to conquer lawlessness. When he overeats, you can forgive him and free him to receive grace to conquer gluttony. When he neglects to pay bills, you can forgive him and free him to receive grace to conquer laziness.

This makes an enormous difference.

Hard to believe? Look at the Apostle Paul. When he called himself “Saul”, he was one of the Romans who helped kill Christians, hardly a small sin, hardly something you could forgive if you found it in your husband. Yet, Stephen forgave Saul, freeing him for his future. Read about it in Acts 7:58 – 9:1. It really happened: A Godly person forgave the unforgivable. He released the sinner to receive Christ’s ministry and become Christ’s minister. What Stephen forgave on this earth was forgiven in heaven. Stephen was like Jesus in his death.

We are called to be like Christ. That is what the word “Christian” means. If Jesus Christ could love and forgive you when you were His enemy, if Stephen could forgive his murderous enemy, how much more should we be willing to forgive the husband of our heart, our beloved, the one we chose to share this life with!

This two-sided commission also gives us authority to hold a man to his sin, to hold him in bondage. Before we shrug this off, remember that if a husband is bound to a sin, the wife is too, because we are bound to them in marriage. Taking this lightly is dangerous because God takes it seriously. You bind your husband to his sin, yourself to him, your children to you both, to the third and fourth generations of them that hate the Lord. Hate is a strong word, but Jesus said it: You cannot serve two masters. You love only one and hate the other. Whomever you serve, is your master. If you serve the god of unforgiveness, I fear for your family.

There is one more fearful facet to this truth: If you hold your daddy in unforgiveness, binding him to his sin, you need to realize you are bound to him, too, as his daughter. Are you seeing some of his same sins in your husband or in your children? Is it beginning to make sense? Forgiveness IS the key, just as God said. The joyful thing is: you hold the key.

Matthew 16:18-19

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Husbands, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives

Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 2

Posted on by Katharine
Mother Scold Son

 Reason #2 – He Has Been Cursed

I’m sticking my neck out, here. Stay with me.

The truth is that our husbands face many draining words in the course of a normal day;

  • Those nagging words you speak: “Why can’t you remember a thing I say?!”
  • Those foretelling words his mother always spoke: “Darling, you know Mother wants you to avoid all the mistakes your father made!”
  • Those fiery words from the boss: “Herman, you just HAVE to shape up!”

All these words can work as curses with bad effects. They cause him to dwell on and believe in his faults, real or imagined, and to take his eyes off the Author and Finisher of his faith. These words tell him he is not good enough and perhaps never will be. He can easily sink into depression or despair instead of standing against the enemy.

 Solution #2: Pray to break word curses spoken over your husband. Try this for a morning prayer: “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I break every curse and negative word spoken over my husband, (name). I declare every curse and negative word spoken over my husband to be broken and null and void in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Father, I ask you to put a hedge of protection around my husband’s soul and to guard and protect him from the evil one’s attacks.”

Then stop cursing him. Bless him. We are called to be a blessing, so…be one!

If you had a female roommate, would she stay with you if you talked to her the way you talk to and about your husband? Just because someone is bound to stay with you, by an oath before God, as your husband is, is no reason to take advantage of it and be mean. Tell him how much you appreciate something about him. Tell him you love him, but make it obvious, too.

Do not stop at speaking blessings, be a blessing.

Fix his favorite food, sometimes, just for him, even if it is barely this side of edible. One fried chicken dinner with gravy will go far in saying, “You matter to me,” even if you hope your kids grow up vegetarian. Create a space or two inside his “castle” where things are done his way, where he can feel like he’s at least part owner.

This also goes for when he is not present. Your friends are not being true if they are tempting you in the “roast hubby” game. Look at the Song of Solomon to see how the bride described her groom . . . all the girlfriends wanted to check him out by the time she finished! Your husband isn’t that perfect? Her husband worshiped idols and she likely had no choice in whom she married. How would you like that?

Yet her attitude was godly as ours should be, too.

Maybe you grew up in a matriarchal home.

Maybe you never even considered that your attitude and words could be adding to your problems.

Ask God’s forgiveness. Ask your husband’s forgiveness.

Then walk purely, as a blessing.

Or you cannot expect him to.

All you can expect, then, is bad attitudes in your children, and in your children’s children . . .

__________________

Image by xcode via Flickr

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Brothers, Inspiring, Photos

Weekly Photo Challenge: Opportunity – 2

Posted on by Katharine

Yep, I’ve decided to go with the second MISSED OPPORTUNITY from yesterday:

Yesterday, I also included a photo of the flag furled in a way that sort of folded itself over itself, and with the sun backlighting it, it made a sort of checkered pattern. I remember I captioned it “Stars and Checks”. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted, but evaporated, funwise and WYSI-wise, the moment I clicked “publish”. Too bad. Now it is just sheer determination that makes me bow to the necessity of posting twice in order to post two photos. Here it is, such a rare moment, for me, a newbie photographer. I was glad for the OPPORTUNITY when I had it and glad to share with those who care to look, now:

flag 2
Flag 2

Hope you enjoy the shot.

I did.

Oh, and the link for Part 1 is here. It sort of explains this post. So sorry it has to be this way, evidently.