Then He said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”
And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He though to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.”
But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night you life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’
This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”
Everyone who comes to God must believe these two things:
That He exists
That He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
This is truth, according to His Word, which is what we must accept if we accept that He is there to deny, to hate, to dispute, to blame, to doubt, to question, to quote, to copy, to seek, to find, or to acknowledge.
Another truth: all God-haters must admit He exists or their whole life-work has been wasted, right? Same for blamers, questioners, etc. They just miss, entirely, the BENEFITS of His existence, because they do not, also, believe that He rewards, and would joyfully reward THEM.
But He does. He would.
So, it is mandatory to reward our children; we must raise them up in the discipline of the Lord. Reward is one way He disciplines us.
“What?!” you say. “I thought discipline meant things like time-out or skipping dessert!”
While unpleasant consequences are, indeed, a valid part of discipline, God’s Word also shows us that He adds rewards to His method of discipline, which He has commanded us to use.
Why do we fear rewards? I have heard parents say, “I refuse to bribe my children to do right.”
Again, we show our ignorance, because, according to the Word of Him Who requires we do right, bribery—rewarding to do WRONG—is wrong, and rewarding to do right is right.
God’s discipline also includes praise. Consider this: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant . . . ” Or: “This is My Beloved Son, in Whom I AM well pleased . . . “ We cannot deny that He does praise us, also.
So we should praise our own. This is truth.
There is one facet of all this truth that escapes notice, though.
Humility.
His Word says, “Humble yourself, therefore, under the mighty hand of God and He will exalt you in due time.”
His Word says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
As one of His most famous followers said, “He must increase; I must decrease,” and “I am not worthy even to untie His shoe . . .”
We sometimes hear someone who has received great praise saying something like, “Oh, you are setting me up for a fall!” referring to the Scripture that reads, “Pride goeth before a fall . . . “
Still we should praise and reward good jobs, wherever we see them, and especially in our children’s lives. Missing this facet of childhood has caused many adults to grow up warped, never praised, never rewarded, and also never pitied and probably never sent to the corner or switched when they needed that. Undisciplined, they grow up with no self-discipline and probably no healthy concept of God, either, since we learn those from our parents.
Many adults fail to praise or reward other adults, though, and a job well done can make a hurting person jealous. People raised wrong envy beauty, industry, discipline, etc., and often grow snarky instead of praising. We just have to forgive them.
However, it is God, not people, Who watches our ways to give us joy. Humans will praise and reward us, if that is God’s chosen pathway for our praise and rewards to come, but only in due time. He may, though, choose to use His audible voice, instead! Or, our rewards may mostly come in the next life.
But we don’t care. It is a joy to wait upon the Lord. So we patiently seek out His will and try hard to do right, for the joy of pleasing Him, and we humbly wait for that due time, when He will, most assuredly, reward us. Because He IS a rewarder.
And for the snarky-jealous? Maybe we should find some way to give them a bit of the praise they never got during childhood?
Oh, don’t we all find ourselves caught in a web prepared by some manipulator, sometimes?
It can be so hard to extricate ourselves. I am sure we would love if they wore beepers, so we could walk far around them.
In a way, they do.
I would love to share about this, in hope of sparing someone out there, if possible. Following are a few of the many signs of a controller/manipulator personality:
They usually do not have their own lives under control. You know the ones–3 times the size they should be, scream at their children lots, talk too loudly, abuse substances, have barely a pathway through their overly-stuffed home, etc.
They do not delegate well, and want to be the only one able to do the job right. We wish!–Because they volunteer too much and think they are good managers, even assume bogus titles to prove it, right? They are prideful and want you to think they know everything.
They ignore you, flatter you, change the subject, or know someone ELSE it applies to, but don’t self-apply good teaching; usually can’t get the Spritual application of it.
They gossip and gripe. Gr-r-r!
They want special privileges and unnatural private time. A lot.
They are resistant to, or even terrified of, proper authority, proper control.
They are long on doctrine, short on loving understanding; they try to confuse the mind.
They can become quite angry.
They often have been deeply wounded in the past and may be driven by avoiding further hurt.
They always, always have the person they manipulate, or “own”, foremost in thought and speech.
Okay, this is the short list. There is more, but the big thing to remember is that these people feel so insecure, it is sad. They do what they do to feel more secure, usually, to try to keep everything under control and at arm’s length, to avoid pain.
Note: Just because you have a PhD in blogging, need to lose 70 pounds, like me a lot, and send me personal notes of encouragement, it does NOT mean you’re trying to manipulate me!!! Just don’t google my phone number, call me, and rant at me for an hour, and we’ll be fine! 🙂
Oh, and the mother/child relationship is different. You are supposed to devote lots to your children, cherish them, think of them always, manage their little lives, etc. Most manipulators, although they should, do not do this.
Just remember one day, when they’re grown, you will have to let go of your children. Manipulators usually do not do that, either.
To see these concepts in action in the Bible, read about the lives of King Saul and Prince Absalom, in 1 Samuel 9 through 2 Samuel 19. David’s reaction to both was mostly good.
For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant;
its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man
will fade away even while he goes about his business. James 1:11
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
With the knowing, the deeper truths, and the closer expressions of concern, can come the fears, the denials, and the silence.
The dark days of friendship.
A couple of friends once asked me if my young teen daughter could arbitrate between their two teens. I could hardly believe my ears. The three of us were close, so I shared my many concerns and said no.
The ramifications were astounding: a seeming total breakdown in all communication.
They literally continued being friends to each other without me and my daughter.
Wow.
A full year later, we were all at an event at a park. One of these friends had a newly-minted, biggest-baddest car-of-the-year and asked me if I would enjoy taking it around the park with her.
The shock!
Still the idea of sitting behind all 4 million horses under that hood was too tempting and we took her for a spin at park speed: 5 mph. Ha.
It was glorious and just destroyed my mini-van, in my eyes.
However, what happened during that drive was more. Far more. This dear friend apologized. She said she was wrong. She had thought I was wrong but she saw differently later. She thanked me for my dedication to truth and to our friendship. I thanked her for the same two things.
We are still friends, the kind that can be apart for a year and then take it up like we were just days apart. Which we did.
This was deep.
This was asking advice on children and giving it.
This was disagreeing and staying cool for a year.
This was trusting an apology would fix it.
This was forgiving wrongs. Deep, deep, deep, like few, few, few friendships ever can be.
The ancients called these types of friendships leb in Hebrew and philos in Greek, implying core understanding, brotherhood. This friend would visit a friend in jail. This friend would give up a year of pleasure for a friend. This friend would help a relative of a friend, if asked; would party and rejoice at a friend’s joy. Read about it in Ruth 2:13 and John 3:29.
But it can backfire.
Big.
All people have at their fingertips the ability to do wrong. This is what we risk in every relationship, but the closer we grow, the more we risk.
The closer we are, the more accurately we can aim our weapons.
And, oh, the more it hurts.
This is a call for caution.
Some people are broken and do not know how to be a friend. Befriending them will always be a lopsided venture, more give than take, like dancing with someone who doesn’t know the steps. Befriending them will always carry risk. Befriending someone who might backfire is a noble calling, not a picnic.
As long as we remember each of us is able to fail, as long as we dedicate ourselves to befriending and not to collecting fun people, we can proceed. We can gently and lovingly share the truth in hope, not that the friendship will one day benefit ME, but that it will one day bring glory to God.
The dark days of friendship.
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