May the Lord bless thee and keep thee.
May the Lord make His face shine upon thee and be gracious unto thee.
May the Lord lift up His countenance upon thee and give thee His peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
Tag: Scripture
An Anatomy of Pain – Conclusion
What then are we to make of suffering?
If we are The Called, in Christ Jesus, everything that happens to us is for some higher purpose, even when life DOES go our way. We can know for sure that the pain of suffering unfair treatment, like all other things, works for good. The Scriptures promise this.
- Suffering at the hands of an enemy gives us rare opportunities to extend forgiveness to people in Jesus’ name.
- It can draw His precious ones closer to Him, if that’s what we want, not like those who move farther away from Him when they face suffering.
- It can quiet us from our boasting, give us peace within our limitations, and explain mourning to us in a way we can understand.
- Suffering can make us open our Bibles with new earnestness, and oftener, too.
- It can teach us new heights of patience with those who watch us and try to help us.
- It can cause us to acknowledge God’s authority over us, and to accept His working in our lives as the highest good.
- Finally, suffering can cause us to rest in our trust in God, full of His Holy Spirit, and to see His hand in everything that happens around us.
I pray these blessings on you all. They are the whole reason He came, anyway. Right?
An Anatomy of Pain – Remember, the World Hurts, Like a Sledge Hammer
Why it Hurts – Sticks and stones . . . you know names can hurt worse. A bruise from a stone heals in a week or two, but the pain from name calling can last as long as your memory. It can last as long as we let it.
We can let it hurt for ages.
Do we want it to hurt? Maybe there’s something inside us that does. Do we feel proud if we can get that lower lip to quiver one more time?
I mean, people, IT HURTS!
Right? People notice? They pet us some more? They feel sorry for us?
Maybe not.
It’s just the world – People! Them! It’s not my fault, remember! No, it’s just the world. We forget something: “In this world ye shall have tribulation.” It’s a promise from God, but not one of those promises we name and claim, is it?
Jesus told us. He warned us. We should know it. It’s part of being alive. Tribulation, from the Latin root meaning sledge-hammer. How appropriate. The alternative is leaving this old world behind. Being alive in this world includes getting hammered. Being alive in this world also includes being part of it. We are such sloppy communicators and such confused listeners, no one can help being part of the trouble.
God also told us, “The heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it?” I think that is part of the pain, too. We think we know so-and-so would never say that. We find out each person is capable of hammering on us. We think, finally, this relationship is secure.
Nope. Never.
As long as there are people, and that includes you and me, there will be hammerin’. People will hammer. They will hurt and not apologize. They will apologize and not sound sincere, not even know what they ought to have apologized for. It’s just the heart of man, including the women.
Sometimes, oh, I dunno, it seems, especially the women.
People don’t know what to apologize for because they have no idea they did anything. They truly have no idea what they are doing half the time, no idea what they’ve done. They say, “WHAT?!” and they mean it. What have I done? What is it THIS time? What?! They don’t know what they’re doing.
But we don’t remember something. The beloved voice that said, “In this world ye shall have tribulation,” also said, “Be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.” He did not mean He could lick any enemy of ours in a moment, although He could do that. No, He meant He has overcome the whole mess, you and me included. The whole world—He could lick it all in a moment, and He will.
The God who said, “The heart of man is desperately wicked,” also said that He knows our hearts. Oops. Scary business, that. On top of that, He told us to rejoice and look up when it got really bad, because He would be close on the heels of the Very Worst Day. When That Day comes, we’d better be ready.
We’d better be cheered up!
Tired, Alone, Scared, Misguided, but Safe in the Everlasting Arms
Here is a horrifying truth: A great number of women are satisfied with having an ungodly husband until something causes them to start thinking about the results.
Having children causes us to think more carefully. We suddenly can see that marrying an unsaved man was a wrong decision. What we do not see is the reason it is wrong.
It is not wrong because a child might suffer.
It is wrong because God said not to do it.
Breaking the marriage vow also is wrong. Breaking the marriage vow also results in suffering that the wife cannot foresee. Breaking the marriage vow also is wrong only because God said not to do it.
The suffering COMES from being wrong; the suffering does not MAKE it wrong.
It is wrong only because it is wrong. Then immediately comes the suffering.
You can choose to suffer for doing wrong OR for doing right. There is glory, though, in suffering for the right. What good is it to suffer for doing wrong?
God has shown you what is good. What does He require of you? It is this:
- All of the things you do must be done justly and righteously. Ask God to help you do right in every little thing, like housework, eating habits, etc.
- All of your relationships must be based upon love and mercy. Ask God to help you to show loving mercy to every individual around you, including and especially your husband.
- Relate to God out of a core attitude of humility. All of everyone’s problems are at least partly the fault of self. Only God is good.
One more thing I need to mention is trust. Trust God, Dear Friend, not your husband. That is the way out of the misery. Is your God big enough to cause good things to happen in spite of a mere man? If not, then you need the Lord of Hosts, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the Father of Heavenly Lights. You can trust Him. He is big enough to cause good things to happen in any life.
Trust Him. Call upon His Name, the Name above all names, Jesus. Ask Him to give you the trust with which to trust Him, and He will do it. Please do not be one of those Christians who misses all the benefits, all the joy, all the peace. He longs to show Himself strong in your behalf. Trust Him. Be like Peter, who stepped out of his wobbly, sloshing boat and walked on the water, straight into the arms of Jesus.
You will not be sorry.
Tire, Alone, Scared, and Misguided
Many a wife has thought as you do, that her husband has never been the spiritual leader in the home, but just for a moment, rethink.
Many a husband is a poor spiritual leader, but every husband is ordained by God to be the leader in matters of the Spirit. If he leads poorly, still he is the leader, by God’s decree. That is why God wants Christian women to be married to Christian men—so that the men can lead the women in the right direction. Perhaps, just now, you are barely seeing this truth. It is stunning in its ramifications, but it is truth: Every husband is the leader.
We have a little saying around here that goes like this, “If you are not submitting all the time, then you are not submitting at all. You are trying to lead and trying to disguise the fact.” The truth is that it is not possible for me, in your words, “to keep my place as wife” at any time if I do not keep it all the time. It’s like honesty: You’re either honest or you’re not honest. There is no such thing as “somewhat honest”.
The opposite of submission is rebellion. Every time I experiment with not submitting, I slide deeper into rebellion and it becomes easier not to submit the next time.
The only way out for me is to repent. It is the same for all people, no matter what the sin. Not submitting is sin. If the marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church, then the rebellious wife is a picture of the Church thumbing the nose at Jesus. That revolting picture wakes us up. The wife who takes off in some other direction than following her husband, is trying to be the leader, when God has already made the husband her leader. Of course, misery would come easily if there were two leaders in the house. Is that it?
The answer to your questions, though, is that it is better to keep the child with both parents at the same time, if it is at all possible. If the wife and the child are in no danger of permanent harm, arrest, etc., then this is the way to go.
Yes, the unsaved husband may make many, many wrong leadership decisions.
That is why it is so important that the mom not make wrong decisions, too.
Otherwise, while the dad might be setting an example of TV watching, the mom might be setting an example of rebellion.
Who can say which is worse? Which would be easier for the child to unlearn? Which displeases God more? Who dares say?
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