Category: Husbands

Posted in Cats, Homemaking, Husbands, Who's the mom here?, Wives

Adequacy

Posted on by Katharine

Do you ever feel strong, only to find out you’re weak? I sure do.

Today we face troubles with our chickens. A raccoon is eating one per day, starting yesterday. Soon we will have none.

 

Me? In your garbage? No!
Me? In your garbage? No! (Photo credit: jronaldlee)

We’ve set a trap where the coon can get in it but the cats cannot. It is smart though, ate the bait, and got out again.

We believe people should protect their penned or cooped animals, since they are at our mercy. What else can they do but die at the hands of this marauder? Sadness creeps in as we think of their terror and understand, now, their reluctance to trust.

Anyway, it falls on the one who is at home to check on the critters hourly, during the day. It’s almost time for the next check. Even if the trap should work, I will have to operate our small rifle because coons don’t die that easily and it would be wrong to make it suffer. Not even tempting.

Although I boasted of knowing how to aim and shoot, I forgot I don’t remember something: which way is off, for the safety button. So is the rifle sitting by the back door, loaded and ready to shoot, or is there one more step to prevent that disappointing “click” that means I forgot something? And will it hurt my shoulder, which has been acting up, lately? And will the creature be in the trap, or warily roaming around the coop? And will I miss? And if I miss, will I hit something else important, like a chicken? And how do I arrive at the chicken coop without our ever-curious cats following?

I was so ready, willing, and able. Now I’ve talked myself into being a wimp. Earlier, I even dreaded and second-guessed the idea of having fresh, organic eggs, at all.

It all reminds me of my curtains. The cost of one panel would buy fabric for the whole house. The test is in making them. Will I finish them?

It reminds me of the ironing. You’d never guess how many starched shirts wait for me to finish that ambitious project. But am I saving money!

It reminds me of refinishing the basement.

It reminds me of redecorating the guest house.

It reminds me of unpacking the last few boxes from moving.

It reminds me of weeding the flower beds.

It reminds me of me.

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Posted in Husbands, Inspiring, Wisdom, Wives

Illegitimate Boundaries

Posted on by Katharine
Pond boundary with debris
Pond boundary with debris

Bound!

What makes a boundary that is not good?

  1. It comes from someone who is not over you in authority.
  2. It comes from someone who is not heeding his or her authorities.
  3. It takes over an area of your life not under its authority.

First, when someone tries to set boundaries over or around you and is, himself, not your legitimate authority, you need not heed these boundaries. For instance, if someone else’s husband thinks you should wear your hair a certain way, he’s full of beans! Wearing your hair for someone else’s husband is preposterous. The same would go for someone else’s boss. Only your own boss should be able to tell you what to do on the job and when. This really is simple.

Second, if someone is not minding the law or other authorities over him, he may be out of line for telling you what to do. For instance, a policeman who asked you to rob a bank would be too obviously not one to heed. If your boss asked you to vote a certain way on a jury, that would be similar. Any authority who tried to make you break any law would be contemptible.

Third, the particular areas of your life that are yours, alone, do not fall under any other authorities. Your boss, although he is expected to be over you, still cannot tell you how to feed your children, what TV to watch, when to plant your garden, etc., because it is none of his business.

Also, these scenarios are not truly boundaries; they are bondage. Pay attention and learn to tell the difference.

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Husbands, Inspiring, Wisdom, Wives

Why not Date?

Posted on by Katharine
Classic "one-knee" proposal, ca. 1815
Classic “one-knee” proposal, ca. 1815 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why not Date?

Of course, God must have had some reason for causing us to be male and female, yet also programming us to hesitate, to want to do it right, to hate divorce just as He does. What gives?

God set up the whole marriage relationship as a picture, a sort of parable, of perfection in relationship. You have to admit, when male/female relationships are going right, it can be heavenly, right? And when it all goes south, well . . .

Facts are, God is all about loving relationship. He says He IS love. He is a relationship. Love is everything. Love is all you need. And almost every problem on earth is a relationship problem.

Marriage is so important to God. He set up everything in His kingdom with the idea in mind of it being like a marriage. (Or maybe marriage is like His kingdom?) In fact, in all of His creation, out of all the things He created, there was only one thing He said was not good: That man should be alone, single. Man could never picture Heavenly things if He had no counterpart, no one to love, no one to become one with and be fruitful with.

But what is dating? Is it a loving thing? Or is it using someone just to have a good time? Or is it pretending to be married? Are we fools?

The Bible speaks of only two types of relationships between unmarried, non-familial men and women. One is betrothal. The other is over-anxious, questionable men hanging around loose women.

Guess which one we practice these days?

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Posted in Blessings of Habit, Husbands, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Wisdom, Wives

About Dating

Posted on by Katharine

Humans have been practicing dating on a large scale for around, 50 to 75 years. Before that, no one dated. Some snuck out, but that was sneaking out; it wasn’t dating.

The very idea of two unmarried people spending any time together, alone, was unthinkable to most people, once upon a time.

Why? At least for three reasons.

  1. Of course, the obvious reason most people think of is the unwed pregnancy, illegitimate child, and ensuing ruined lives. It may be hard for some to believe, but when parents and legislators guarded a young woman so closely back then, it was for her benefit as much as anything.
  2. Political reasons also factored in; not national politics like we think of these days, but human politics of the family, the estate, the wills, etc. Marriage strengthens families, and thereby, communities, cities, and countries. The foolishness displayed through the ins and outs of the dating mess weakens us all. People and families who desire to get somewhere choose marriage and its strengths, not foolishness.
  3. Religion forbade it. We cannot really blame Christianity because all religions have strict rules requiring single-mindedness about marriage and deterring the weakness inherent in youthful foolishness. Even someone who would boast of being the most irreligious, and who had a “special friend”, would call it cheating if that friend stepped out on him. That’s because the whole idea is universal.

And there was a time, not so long ago, when all people heeded this universal idea, whether they liked it or not. While there always have been a few out-of-wedlock babies, they were few, just enough to soften the blow of infertility for other people. And people hid the trouble as much as possible. And they were regretful.

Why is marriage universal?

A better question might be, why did God build this program into all people? It is because His Son is a Bridegroom, waiting for a pure bride.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Home School, Homemaking, Husbands

I Haven’t Made My Bed, Yet…

Posted on by Katharine

…No, my bed sits all a-jumble.

However, on a different topic, I found the most amazing thing while I was waiting for the bedding to make itself. 😉

I was just checking regular emails and discovered some news. In New York City, if you are very rich, you can get Special special education from the public schools. If you are poor, you cannot, no matter your need.

According to news writer Juan Gonzalez, if you can afford to sue the schools there, you can make them pay for the education your child really needs, as opposed to what the public schools there provide.

Just thought you’d like to know.

In the meantime, have you had snow yet?

If you are buried in snow, you might not be interested in this, but if you sit at the window longing for the first few flakes, take a look at this page,  and watch it snowing all over the world, as they call it. Fun.

And remember: In Alaska, Home’s Cooler! 😉

Posted in Believe it or not!, Husbands, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives

Tired, Alone, Scared, Misguided, but Safe in the Everlasting Arms

Posted on by Katharine

Feeling the safety.Here is a horrifying truth: A great number of women are satisfied with having an ungodly husband until something causes them to start thinking about the results.

Having children causes us to think more carefully. We suddenly can see that marrying an unsaved man was a wrong decision. What we do not see is the reason it is wrong.

It is not wrong because a child might suffer.

It is wrong because God said not to do it.

Breaking the marriage vow also is wrong. Breaking the marriage vow also results in suffering that the wife cannot foresee. Breaking the marriage vow also is wrong only because God said not to do it.

The suffering COMES from being wrong; the suffering does not MAKE it wrong.

It is wrong only because it is wrong. Then immediately comes the suffering.

You can choose to suffer for doing wrong OR for doing right. There is glory, though, in suffering for the right. What good is it to suffer for doing wrong?

God has shown you what is good. What does He require of you? It is this:

  1. All of the things you do must be done justly and righteously. Ask God to help you do right in every little thing, like housework, eating habits, etc.
  2. All of your relationships must be based upon love and mercy. Ask God to help you to show loving mercy to every individual around you, including and especially your husband.
  3. Relate to God out of a core attitude of humility. All of everyone’s problems are at least partly the fault of self. Only God is good.

 

One more thing I need to mention is trust. Trust God, Dear Friend, not your husband. That is the way out of the misery. Is your God big enough to cause good things to happen in spite of a mere man? If not, then you need the Lord of Hosts, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the Father of Heavenly Lights. You can trust Him. He is big enough to cause good things to happen in any life.

Trust Him. Call upon His Name, the Name above all names, Jesus. Ask Him to give you the trust with which to trust Him, and He will do it. Please do not be one of those Christians who misses all the benefits, all the joy, all the peace. He longs to show Himself strong in your behalf. Trust Him. Be like Peter, who stepped out of his wobbly, sloshing boat and walked on the water, straight into the arms of Jesus.

You will not be sorry.

Posted in Husbands, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives, Womanhood

Tire, Alone, Scared, and Misguided

Posted on by Katharine

Many a wife has thought as you do, that her husband has never been the spiritual leader in the home, but just for a moment, rethink.

Many a husband is a poor spiritual leader, but every husband is ordained by God to be the leader in matters of the Spirit. If he leads poorly, still he is the leader, by God’s decree. That is why God wants Christian women to be married to Christian men—so that the men can lead the women in the right direction. Perhaps, just now, you are barely seeing this truth. It is stunning in its ramifications, but it is truth: Every husband is the leader.

We have a little saying around here that goes like this, “If you are not submitting all the time, then you are not submitting at all. You are trying to lead and trying to disguise the fact.” The truth is that it is not possible for me, in your words, “to keep my place as wife” at any time if I do not keep it all the time. It’s like honesty: You’re either honest or you’re not honest. There is no such thing as “somewhat honest”.

The opposite of submission is rebellion. Every time I experiment with not submitting, I slide deeper into rebellion and it becomes easier not to submit the next time.

The only way out for me is to repent. It is the same for all people, no matter what the sin. Not submitting is sin. If the marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church, then the rebellious wife is a picture of the Church thumbing the nose at Jesus. That revolting picture wakes us up. The wife who takes off in some other direction than following her husband, is trying to be the leader, when God has already made the husband her leader. Of course, misery would come easily if there were two leaders in the house. Is that it?

The answer to your questions, though, is that it is better to keep the child with both parents at the same time, if it is at all possible. If the wife and the child are in no danger of permanent harm, arrest, etc., then this is the way to go.

Yes, the unsaved husband may make many, many wrong leadership decisions.

That is why it is so important that the mom not make wrong decisions, too.

Otherwise, while the dad might be setting an example of TV watching, the mom might be setting an example of rebellion.

Who can say which is worse? Which would be easier for the child to unlearn? Which displeases God more? Who dares say?