Posted in Believe it or not!, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom, Wives, Womanhood

The Boundary Around My Pond

Another view of the pond
Another view of the icy pond

Boundaries are wonderful. Without them we could not have ponds. No ponds, no fish. Yes, we like boundaries. I think the fish do, too.

One boundary we think we don’t welcome is the womb. Wombs are wonderful. Without them we could not have babies. I think the babies like them, too.

But we ignore what we know is true and we violate that quiet, safe place for our growing babies, every day. Over 3000 times per day. It is impossible to violate our own bodies and our children’s lives the way we do, and still feel human.

Look at this:

In Pennsylvania, they’ve found a physician/abortionist who has made a profession and a large fortune from violating the boundaries of our wombs. How did he do it? By accepting payment in cash, not reporting his earnings, storing his money at home instead of in a bank, not disposing of bio-hazards, not sterilizing equipment, not providing gowns for patients, and barely paying staff.

Oh, and he sold drugs on the side. Cash, only, please.

More than half the people who went into his “clinic” died. You know, all the babies died, and several of the moms, too. It was just like the good ol’ days, minus the coat hanger. “Safe and rare”, my foot.

The only good thing about it, if it can be called good, is the wording the Philadelphia reporter, Stephanie Farr, used as she wrote her detailed report about Dr. Gosnell’s goings on:

“How many severed baby spines does it take to pay for a $984,000 shore house? How many severed infant feet is a boat worth?”

I am glad she said it that way. I don’t know how she had the nerve to write this truth in such big newspaper, nor how she got by with it, but there it was, on the Internet, for all to see. For all to think about. For all to try to grasp.

Not only does abortion mistreat women; it mistreats babies, violates wombs, ignores boundaries.

And it can turn us into monsters.

Posted in Home School, Inspiring, Who's the mom here?, Womanhood

Attitude? Awareness? Vision? How Can a Tutor Know?

Needing glassesI used to tutor.

Once, a young mother came to me for help with her first-grader daughter. The girl had been in a private school and was producing perfect work, daily, but on the following days, she seemingly knew nothing from the day before. Everyone was puzzled. The mom had heard about home schooling, found my phone number on a poster, and thought I’d know something the girl’s teachers did not.

Scary scenario!

However, I’d recently received a copy of a learning styles test a friend had written, and thought that with it, and with private tutoring, perhaps I could discover something an overworked teacher had missed.

The child was sweet, bright, and eager. This was going to be fun. I gave the mom a copy of the test to fill out at home, since she probably knew her daughter better than anyone else. I began carefully disguised check-ups of the girl’s reading and math skills.

She was a puzzling bundle. She could know something one moment, then know nothing the next. We read from an early reader, and she would do very well after I told her almost every word. I wondered—was she guessing? Memorizing?

The learning style test had come back showing her to be a visual learner. She ought to love reading.

I turned to the back of the reader, and showed her vocabulary lists placed there for the teacher. I pointed to a word from our day’s reading, and asked her what it was. That’s when everything became clear.

“Oh, Ms Kathy! I could never read that word; it’s too little for me to see it.”

Dear me. A visual learner who cannot see. Of course. She was, indeed bright enough to memorize each day’s lesson, but had inadvertently missed learning to read.

That day, she and I made huge yarn letters together, one per page of construction paper, and did copy work on the board with letters one foot tall. Immediately she knew what was going on and began making enormous progress.

When her mom came to pick her up that day, I asked her if either she or her husband had vision problems. She said they both had trouble seeing much of anything, that their vision was corrected with contacts of a strong prescription.

I told her, “I think your little girl cannot see. I think that is the basis of the problem, plus missing out on the foundations of reading readiness.”

We both had tears in our eyes that day, and eventually the girl received her first pair of glasses. I lost that tutoring job soon afterward, but the joy of helping such a needy one, so quickly, was compensation enough for me.

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Homeschooling the Four-year-old

The Screeching Halt

fourAll the training, learning, sharing, exploring, and other amiable activities of life seem to come almost to a standstill for the “four”.

This poor child stops growing for a while, around this age, and hence, nearly stops eating. Many foods become distasteful to him and his health becomes fragile.

I think all children nearly stall out as they near the four-year gate and pass through it.

Oh, but Only on the Outside

Stalled out and fragile or not, he is still alive. From within his new inactivity shell, the “four” becomes more observant. He notices that all newly-won liberties come with new dangers, new pain. Unfamiliar and misunderstood surroundings again scare him. The “four” can suddenly and seemingly inexplicably fear nearly anything: the vacuum, the dog, the dark, the lightning, or the wading pool are typical candidates for his seeming irrationality.

The Ball Is in Mom’s Court

It is a call for patience.The child who has learned Bible verses fears speaking above a mumble. The child who loves to hear stories fears Sunday School. The child who once jumped into the playdate holds back. The child who used to sparkle has fizzled out.

What can Mother do? She can tenderly understand, gently guide, and cheerfully go with the child into any fearful situation.

Her reaction to everything is important. If she inadvertently jumps at the sound of unexpected thunder, she should laugh and exclaim how surprised she was and lead him out onto the porch with her, to watch the wind and clouds.

She should sit in the wading pool with the poor dear, helping him obtain some enjoyment, overcome some fears.

She should catch lightning bugs and hold them for her little “four” to see that not all bugs bite.

She should mercifully seek ways to pull him out of himself.

Ah, but…

Mom’s aim should be to teach “Fear not.” (Luke 2:10 KJV) In fact, she should gently and gradually disengage him from behind her skirt and make at least a show of fearlessness an unavoidable requirement.

How many of us could use this teaching about courage, if only we could return to our four-year-old selves! The child who learns to fear God instead of the things God has made will go farther, faster than others will. This function of obedience to God is a concept the “four” can understand by now.

In fact, this teaching, this requiring fearlessness, can quickly lead to real trust in God’s almighty hand. As the “four” learns to categorize his fears according to the Word of God, he sometimes can see he needs God’s ability enlivening his inability.

Those who have applied careful methods all along should watch for this window. If Mother knows the child and carefully watches, she can boost the faith of the four-year-old. Many Saints have first prayed on an altar improvised of Mother’s lap. The “four” so taught always understands, “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” (Psalm 56:3 KJV)

What a glorious tradition!

The rest of us had to learn later. After walking in fear. After the Lord’s discipline regarding it.

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Homeschooling the Three-year-old

Beginning the Downhill. Yes.

threeIf we tame the “two”, we enjoy good harvest, for a while.

The well-taught “three” is the amiable toddler, the cherub of our dreams. Beginning to acquire so much, so fast, often the homeschooled “three” can learn to recite little poems, count to three, and build three-block towers.

Expanding Reach

He allows other adults in the circle of self. The “three” masters a few small, polite manners. He has learned to love doing good because Mother has been diligently rewarding good deeds. He likes other children who are his size, welcomes them in his world, and sharing becomes a new game.

Smiling

Although close watching and explicitly careful training continue paramount, the “three” at least does not cry for Mother if she steps out to sweep the front porch. The contentment, which can reign in this young life, is a beautiful reward for the previous months of faithfulness Mother invested.

Learning!

The learning needs of the “three” involve third elements. The two hands can now manage the addition of a simple tool, such as a large crayon, blunt scissors, or a glue stick. These two hands also can manage play clay, chalk, large-sized math manipulatives, and many other of the more simple learning tools such as an abacus.

Some “threes” are beginning to recognize and develop basic comprehension of letters and words. This child loves to watch you draw pictures, loves help with cutting and pasting a “beautiful picture for Daddy”, and loves word games with concepts such as opposites.

The “three” is continually branching out beyond the diaper, beyond the crib, beyond Mother’s arms, and beyond the single ambition of self-gratification. He no longer feels the need for all that sameness.

His small world fascinates him. He wants to learn to name colors and shapes, to build a letter “A” from cookie dough, and to progress beyond walking to running or jumping or tricycling. It is a good age to teach acceptance of all foods. It is a good age to teach simple jokes.

It is a good age. Everyone likes him and wants to tweak his curls, and for once, it is okay with him, too.

Caution

Because the “three” is sleeping less and likes his world more, a lot of noticing and imitating happens in this small life. Being careful what we do becomes very important. Some things we do, such as plugging in an electrical apparatus, are dangerous for a three-year-old to copy.

No matter how we watch, there may be disastrous outcomes from even the appropriate activities of this age. We want him eventually to learn to climb stairs, for instance, but we want him to learn caution, too, a delicate balance that can easily go awry. “Do-by-self” must learn to give way to help. Our constant supervision becomes, if possible, even more necessary. Once he learns to run, the front yard becomes a minefield…

Lessons

It is at this age Mother realizes the traditional temptation to smother and the need to let go a little. Mother must know the child, by now, and also know and heed the still, small voice of the Lord.

Also at this age the child learns to “love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:39 KJV) Practicing manners, moments with little friends, and sharing games are the methods that will teach this all important concept, if Mother only watches and is careful to impose them in a timely way.

How we wish more of the people around us had the advantage of a Mother’s tender and persistent homeschooling at this age!

More tomorrow.

 

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

The Two-Year-Old

Teaching to Master Self

TwoAfter nine to twelve months, the “one” begins to venture abroad, outside of himself.

He identifies the “Mother” part of self as a significant other.

Self’s hands and knees can accomplish almost as much as Mother’s legs, making her less necessary.

Self begins to make decisions, some met with the reproof of slight pain coming unmistakably from no less than Dear Mother.

Self’s toys,pushed off the high chair, stop mysteriously reappearing.

Having only one flavor of nourishment becomes passe.

Eventually, self turns two.

Can you believe I’m not rolling my eyeballs as I think about this age? Some call it the “Terrible Twos”. I have noticed these people, quite often, also complain about the “Terrible Threes” and the “Terrible Fours”.

I suspect the terrible part of it is that the parents have not been meeting needs and blame all on the poor babe. This is not the tradition we want to adopt.

What is going on in the mind of this child and what are we teaching him?

Personhood.

The “two” is simply perfecting self.

Hours of playing peek-a-boo have taught that Mother is someone else, but is always near.

Attendance at Mother’s outings takes him places he either likes or dislikes.

Little spanks teach that Mother can inflict some of the pains of life, but she also comforts even these.

Introduction of solid food reveals that Mother knows more about nourishment than she originally admitted.

Us Two and No More.

Mother’s job is now easier at night, but much more taxing in the day. The homeschooling tasks have changed from teaching the babe that life is good, to teaching the toddler to fit into this life. For a while, then, it is only “Me and Mother”. Daddy and all others are suddenly banished. For a short while.

Yes! Or, no!

The “two” develops preferences.

Knowing which noises are his own and how to project his voice in a way that causes effects, he branches out into speech.

Gaining mastery of his own legs, he walks wherever he pleases.

Discovering that many things have flavors besides milk, and finding his mouth, he puts almost everything there.

In essence, this “two” has finally found the real self and found that Mother is another one, that he and she are two.

Having learned he has two hands, the “two” wants two cookies and sometimes can count that far. The “two” can easily begin a second language. This child also discovers sometimes there are two choices and sometimes the choice is his. Newly recognizing there are two answers to many questions, for a while, the “two” is confused about the appropriateness of the word “no”.

The Taming of the Two

It is the grace of God that teaches us “denying ungodliness and worldly lusts…” (Titus 2:11-12 KJV), a most important lesson. Again, we see how delaying a basic homeschool lesson can produce disastrously harmful results to spirit, soul, and body, in the future.

We could say that after having found himself, the two now needs to learn in infinitesimal increments, to deny himself and submit to authority. I need not tell you what is missing in the lives of our ever-increasing population of adult two-year-olds, who seem to need to learn the proper times to “just say no”. Some never learn it until they get to prison. Some never learn it at all.

More tomorrow.

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Pre-schoolers, Who's the mom here?, Wisdom

Homeschooling the Infant

Want to begin homeschooling your child at birth? Good for you!

Want to know how? Of course you do!

The newborn requires continual care to survive, and although each human is different, each newborn has a viewpoint that corresponds roughly to his age, which, for this article, is any age up to and around age one. If we teach to their needs and viewpoint, we CAN homeschool them.

They have so much to learn!

New babies do not even comprehend that Mother is someone else, but thinks of her as an extension of their environment. This outlook causes infants to trust completely in Mother’s presence. After all, for the first nine months, she never went anywhere, right?

Be there.

To capture this moment in a baby’s life, and make it teachable, Mother needs do only one thing, and it is to be constantly attentive to her baby.

This huge task needs little explanation. It is such a universal tradition, a photo of any mother tending her infant is understandable to any person, worldwide. Whether we call it a crèche, a nativity, or a manger scene, all those paintings of Mary and Jesus speak of the same tasks to all mothers and to all people. I know you know!

  • To the infant, all time is one, so during napping and feeding he finds a clock of little relevance.
  • To the infant, all nourishment is one, so in the sad instance of a mother’s death, goat or cow milk or formula, etc., can substitute as long as that one mouth receives that one drink to relieve that one tummy ache.
  • To the infant, all good sounds are one, so hummed lullabies suffice at first and any voice can soothe. All bad sounds, even the babe’s own cries, can distress, so sometimes he’s crying because he’s in a room where someone is crying; he doesn’t know that someone is himself.
  • To the infant, all pain, even self-inflicted, is indistinguishable, so he is unable to learn from experience, wanting to nurse even for teething, which makes gums feel worse.
  • To the infant, at first, all humans are one, so others can occasionally help with many of the care-taking chores without disturbing him too much.

Be constant.

Mother must not be gone for too long, though, because the infant is inputting at all times.

What does he pick up on his tiny radar screen? The infant, so frail, who can do little more than simply exist, must learn existence is a good thing, for he will be one with it as long as he lives. The infant must learn Mother is a good and dependable thing, since Mother, indiscernible from self, is everything there is.

Of course, sometimes guessing what he needs is impossible, but what he most needs is for Mother to be there. Guessing.

In this way he learns to turn to Mother in all distress, instantly hushing at even her smell or the sound of her bare footsteps on the carpet or a certain squeak in the floor. He learns trust and mercy. He learns the safety of motherly love and the cushion of family. He learns the peace that cohabitates with constancy.

Be good.

When we cause relationship and make it fun, we teach him: All is well.

This is his homeschool and we must make it good for him. How?

We can play simple, repeating games, the same way each time, such as pat-a-cake.

We can talk a lot, sing a lot, and laugh a lot.

We can gradually create schedules.

We can provide proper feeding, exercise, and fresh air.

These are the traditional lessons of infancy.

The reward?

Many elements of good character missing from our society today come from missing the infancy of a generation ago. Left in bed to cry all the time with no stimuli or else wagged to and fro, fed any “milk” at any temperature, plucked up during naps, deposited into noisy rooms and drugged to sleep, thrust into freezing or burning car seats, passed from person to person to person–they did not learn that all is well.

These infants hardly knew how to be “one”, how to have a self. Not knowing how to trust a Mother–or even which mother to trust–they grew up unable to understand this blessing: “But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all” (Galatians 4:26) They grew up not knowing the blessing from doing good, the peace of dependable habits, or the trust and respect owed to the family.

They comprehend neither how to turn to the Church when they are in need, nor how to participate in building a good Church, nor the simple importance of a good family.

The neglect of the infant’s basic, traditional, home-school needs is tantamount to neglecting not only the physical and emotional, but also the future spiritual safety and provision of this dear babe.

They learn to make their mark, though.

They turn two. Heh heh.

More tomorrow.

Posted in Homemaking, Inspiring, Recipes, Wives

Yum-yummmm

⭐ Caramelized Onions and Green Beans
2 Tablespoons real butter
1/4 cup sliced almonds (opt.)
5 green onions
1 clove garlic, pressed
1 large bunch green beans
1 bell or jalapeño pepper (opt.)

Clean onions and cut into long halves or quarters. Stem and rinse beans. Brown almonds, if desired, in butter, in a good fry pan, then remove from pan and set aside.Throw rest of ingredients into pan. Begin on high heat, but turn to low before it burns. Cover. Stir often. When beans wrinkle some, it probably is done. Test for tenderness of carrots. Add salt and fresh pepper, if desired. We love it!
I’ve also been known to add summer squash, cauliflower, and/or carrots to this dish. Just cook it all until you are afraid it might burn, then pour into serving dish before it does!

⭐ The Secret to My Meat Salad
2 cups ground, cooked meat, such as roast or turkey
1 chopped egg
½ cup chopped celery
½ cup chopped apple, skin on
½ cup pickle, dill or sweet
¼ cup real mayonnaise
1 tablespoon mustard
few drops liquid smoke

Stir all together well. May need more mayonnaise.

⭐ Brined Chicken
Thaw chicken meat in 1 gallon warm water with 1 cup salt added. Rinse. Prepare as usual for your recipe; taste before you salt. You will appreciate the difference. 

⭐ Homemade Kosher Dill Pickle
Bring to a boil:
3 quarts water
1 quart real cider vinegar (5% acidity!)
1 cup plain salt

Heat lids according to package instructions. Tightly pack small cucumbers into clean jars. To each jar add 1 clove garlic, 1 cayenne pepper, and 1 teaspoon dill seed. Pour boiling brine into jars to ½ inch below rim. Wipe rim. Apply lid and screw band. May at this point use hot water bath for 15 minutes.

More tomorrow!