Fog Is a GiftBlocking all but me and mine,
Sighing canopy, dark lace,
Breathing to me.
Centering.
Baring soul in black trees,
Urging notice of the near-by,
Blurring impending day.
Arresting.
Stirring from the valley,
Muffling distant hammers,
Whispering damp over all,
Stopping the world.
Thanks.
The man living to please his wife is afraid. He won’t measure up. He’ll make a mistake. He’s sure of it.
How did he get this way? Probably, he suffered at the hands of his parents.
However, he gets no relief from kicking himself unless he knows you’re happy, and convincing him of your happiness can be hard. His service to you goes beyond Christian charity. Face it: You are an idol in his life. He’ll likely fail to do much for the Lord unless he takes his eyes off you, turns around, and looks to Jesus.
Solution #6: How do you dance with a man who won’t lead? How tempting simply to express your opinion, let him fulfill your will, and live it up!
Yes, it is.
Is that Godly?
No, it is not.
God wants you to be a helper, fit for him, but he is afraid. He fears losing you, failing you, displeasing you…he fears YOU!
The fear of man (or woman) is a snare. God wants him to stand, throw off this fear, know the voice of Jesus, and walk in the light.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
It’s not your fault. Someone has done this to him, but you suffer, too. Someone has broken, squashed, or grated on your man, when he was a little boy. To him, anything would be worse than your displeasure. Somehow, someone has to undo this wrong.
The hard part is dying to yourself. If your husband had a physical handicap, you’d never think of tripping him when he walked. You’d gladly fetch his cane, rub liniment, or whatever, to help him heal.
Instead, his affliction is emotional. The things that trip him are the everyday nuances of personality that anyone else can bear. A pout, a sigh, or a frown make you appear to be unhappy. He is alarmed. He quizzes you. You resent it. He feels shut out. You feel helpless. It never ends.
You are in a powerful position, though, to minister healing in the name of Jesus.
You can convince him that it would please you most for him to ask God’s will instead of seeking yours. He will not be easy to convince.
You can encourage him to go ahead and risk making a mistake. He will despair over it, even in his sleep.
You can accept him, blunders, and all. He will be awaiting your rejection, instead.
He wants you to be his Light that shows him the way each day. God wants you to be the light in the window to draw him back home each night.
You can assure him that you will love him for a lifetime, no matter what. If it takes a lifetime, it truly does not matter. It is do-able. Minister acceptance to your husband and you will be an instrument in God’s hand to help him stand tall in the acceptance that is his in Jesus Christ. You will become the helper he needs, a helper that is fit for him, his helpmeet.
If he were a missionary, he would need a missionary helpmeet. If he were a lawyer, he would need a helpmeet who could maneuver in society. If he were poor, he would need a helpmeet who could follow a budget. If he were lame, he would need a helpmeet who could endure the smell of liniment.
Instead of these requirements, your husband needs mending. He needs time. He needs smiles. He needs space. Above all, he needs to know of your love on a daily, or even hourly basis. Tell him, show him, and prove to him, many times over, that you love him. Never think that now, finally, you have convinced him.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. (Proverbs 31:11) So says Scripture of the good wife. It then lists the benefits the good wife provides for her husband so that he need not venture out for them. You can provide cheer, comfort, love, and acceptance for him. He need not look beyond your lovely face for hope. You can show him, even be for him the love of Jesus manifested into his life. You can help him see the hope that lies in Jesus.
Listen to this conversation between a married couple from Scripture: “We are doomed to die!” he said to his wife. “We have seen God!” But his wife answered, “If the LORD had meant to kill us, he would not have accepted a burnt offering and grain offering from our hands, nor shown us all these things or now told us this.” Can you see the way Samson’s mother tried to instill hope and joy into the heart of her husband, who was relating to good tidings from a basis of fear?
You can do the same. You can help your husband love God and look to Him for guidance. You can help him learn to trust in the love of God. You can help him relax in the presence of God. You can be good tidings, in his life. He will begin to trust you. He will join your children in rising up to call you blessed. He will begin to praise you. He will feel safe.
It will be the first time in his life.
___________________________
Image by Chris Campbell via Flickr
Is this “feeling” of being under outside control more than just a feeling?
You may be starting to wonder, “Am I being controlled? Is this something I should begin taking more seriously? Could this problem person in my life be a bigger problem than I am realizing?”
Read the following list and wonder no more. Fine tune your manipulation radar and live free!
There you have it. Do you feel more certain now? You may be a marionette, but you still can cut at least a few of the strings that lead you around and at least tone down the level of outside control over your life. Read the previous posts to learn more, here, here, and here.
And live free.
(*Image via Wikipedia.)
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.
A voice of one calling: In the desert prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” –Isaiah 40:1-5
I look out my window and see dead trees, grass that’s brown and crunchy like Wheaties, cat dish always needing water . . . with all the heat we’ve had, isn’t it hilarious to read these old posts! Enjoy!
DAY OFF #2
Repairmen of streets, wires, and buildings will get our roads safe and everyone back in their places eventually.
In the meantime, we play in the snow.
The day begins with Dad shoveling snow and bleary-eyed offspring wandering into the kitchen to ask, “What is that noise?” We so seldom have the pleasure.
Now our snowman stands watch. Our cars are decorated with snow objects. Lots of hot cocoa has slipped away. I enjoyed the crazy antics of our two home-bound adult kids, playing in the snow as if they were grade-schoolers. How thankful I am for the snow! Realizing they can still find joy in each other’s company is bliss to this mom.
ALSO (here comes the fun part) THEY CAN PUT ON AND REMOVE THEIR OWN WRAPS!
THEY CAN HEAT THEIR OWN WATER AND STIR UP THEIR OWN HOT COCOA!
THEY CAN HANG ALL THEIR WET THINGS TO DRY!
THEY REMEMBER TO SHUT THE DOOR!
THEY THINK ABOUT NOT TRACKING THE HOUSE WITH SNOW AND MUD!
I get all the same fun as when they were younger, with none of the work.
Another amazing thing: No one grumbles today that the Internet is “down-ish”. We all have decided to do traditional snow-day fun and forget about the rest of the world. I love it. Board games, non-electric musical instruments, laundry hanging on wooden racks by the wood stove, homemade food, and wild birds have risen to the top of our most-selected interests list and everyone is content.
And I wonder: How is it in other homes? I hope you and yours enjoy a great day, today. I pray God grant you peace and contentment.
And snow.
I just finished the most wonderful week, followed by an amazing weekend, and how exhausted I am! Does that ever happen to you?
A new friend visited me for a whole week. She stayed in our guest house and helped me with cooking and canning. One night I spent the night with her. What fun to talk like college girls until 2 in the morning! I say “like college girls” but really, we shared from the Word and from our lives like NO college girls I ever knew. I may be a bit too old for such a schedule, but it probably was for only one time, and was over too soon.
After lunch with an old friend that Friday, I caught up on shopping, found a new purse on back-to-school sale. No more BTS for me, but the sales are still a great idea.
Then it was off to our son’s house visiting with him and his lovely family, lunching on burgers and outstanding carrot cake, teasing and loving grandchildren, playing games; lengthening and strengthening the bonds we built in our son’s childhood.
Came home to view a large column of smoke rising from the woods about 4 miles from our house. Fire’s out, now, thank the Lord.
Then came Sunday, the day when we rest only from our own stuff, but highly concentrate on the Lord’s work . . . How I love the little church that has tripled in attendance since having a pastor, for a change! And how I love the one-hour drive to it, when I share my husband and he shares me with: NO ONE. Our talks have been so good.
That was yesterday, and we had a lovely visitor to grace our home for the afternoon. Made nachos and just relaxed together. So good.
Now it is just me, just this home. Such peace. Bed made. Laundry started. Cats fed. Chickens out. Headed for 105 degrees IN THE SHADE (that’s right at 40 C), today, down from the recent 110-ish week, with humidity from a brief rain last night. Air conditioner, set on 80, has run several times, already, this morning. Garden dead and tilled in. Jars of food all rinsed and stored in the basement.
Pear harvest waiting to be pear butter.
Second cup of coffee sitting at ready.
Join me! Bring your best knife and I’ll share some pear butter with you–it’ll be fun!
The powers-that-be have just dragged her from the bed of a man to whom she is not married.
Perhaps all she is wearing is a bedsheet.
Perhaps he is one of the powers-that-be.
Nevertheless, there she stands, exposed, before her authorities. They do not care about her. They do not care about right or wrong. The have stalked her, captured her, and reduced her to the status of rubbish for one purpose: to trick a popular counselor of that day.
“The law demands this woman be stoned to death,” they announce. Then they wait. They are so sure. They have Him this time. The Man of Mercies will have to admit that mercy does not always win. They think.
He is unperturbed. He stoops and writes in the dust. A list of their sins? Perhaps. Do they look around themselves, worriedly, confused? Perhaps.
Meanwhile, the life of a woman hangs over eternity. Perhaps, thrown down to the ground, does she cower? Perhaps. In a culture that forbids her uncovered state, in a land filled with huge stones, she waits, uncovered, for her stoning.
Finally the Man stands to speak. “And whoever is without sin should throw the first stone.” Then he resumes writing.
Beginning with the eldest–perhaps wisest–each man drops his gleeful attitude, drops his stone, drops his case. Point taken.
The kind Counselor turns to ask the woman, “Where are they? Who is accusing you?”
The answer, from inside a bedsheet: “No one.”
“Neither do I condemn you.”
Notice He does not say she did not sin, but only that He does not condemn her. She stands obviously guilty and shamed, but for her, there is now no condemnation.
Stoning is not prevalent in our society, but prostitution is. I want to ask you: How many of us have been there–a blackened past forgiven by the mercies of God?
How many of us throw away that forgiveness? How many of us hug our sad past close and get it out to look at it and mourn over it, to relive it to its fullest? How many of us labor with all our might to get out from under sin that no longer is over us? How many of us on, stormy days, add to the bad past by letting it create for us bad choices, bad attitutdes, bad excuses?
A bad present?
Jesus asked only one thing from that woman, that day, and asks it of us, too: “Go, and sin no more.”
Home's Cool! 