Posted in Believe it or not!, Husbands, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Wisdom, Wives

Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 1

Sad Man

I’ve caught a bit of a cold and thought I’d take a break by re-posting a series from about a year ago. It is loaned to me from a friend who first published it in a now out-of-print magazine. Hope you enjoy it.

A man is supposed to be a container for the essence of God. He is supposed to be beautiful in his calling to contain the Almighty. There is nothing sadder than an emotionally broken, bruised, wounded, torn, scarred, weak, limping man. It should break your heart and make you cry every time you hear of one.

It breaks Jesus’ heart.

Your husband’s childhood already did enough to hurt your man. It’s time to give him a break. For God’s sake, love him. Give him space to heal.

And take it easy on your sons.

Reason Number 1

 He Is not Saved

I know, I know; we said he’s a Christian. He says he’s a Christian. Everybody, especially you, hopes he’s a Christian, but what IS a Christian?

Is it someone who claims to be a Christian?

The Word promises nothing to people who merely claim to be Christian.

All the promises of God are for those who admit sin, repent, are born again, love and obey God, love the brethren, have the Spirit of Christ Jesus in them, etc. If he is not walking by the Spirit, maybe he is not Spiritual, not born again.

Maybe, unknowingly, he is an impostor.

Solution #1 Pray him into the kingdom. Forgive him.

Stop expecting him to be able to achieve Godliness. Forgive him.

Be scrupulously careful about always submitting to him. Forgive him.

Love him for who he was meant to be. Forgive him.

Hurt with him in his lost misery. Forgive him.

Stop taking his actions so personally. Forgive him.

Beg God for grace in this time of need to minister unto him. Forgive him.

Smile more. Forgive him.

Cry out to God. Fast. Wait upon the Lord.

Be sure not to mistake occasional lapses for lostness. Most people sin. You sin. I sin.

Be sure you are more concerned with his soul than with your reputation. What will your friends think if you have an unsaved husband? Better ask what God will think if you never solicit prayer on your husband’s behalf! Make sure someone is praying for him (not for you/about him.) It will not dishonor him to tell the truth about his lost soul to sisters who are older and are true prayer warriors. Pray down the only help there is for the lost and undone.

Do not think about self in this problem. Pray constantly. Pray for him when you fold his socks, when you pack his lunch, when you wash out his bathtub. Face the truth with the joy that comes from knowing that half the work is done when we see what to do.

Have you always wished you could go to the mission field?

Maybe you are there.

Do not let your disappointment about your marriage cause you to treat your husband with any less respect or joy than you would give to the heathen in some far off country.

However you arrived in the situation within which you find yourself, remember: God saw and knew all the things you didn’t. Stop now, and re-assess your life and its meaning before God. Be kind to the provider that God has provided for you.

Never forget that your service to your husband is to be as unto the Lord. Strive to make him as happy and pleased as you can. Who else, but a wonderful Christian like you, can truly serve and comfort anyone, anyway? Serve. Be a comfort. Win him with kindness and forgiveness.

Take hope.

Be strong and courageous.

Do not fear.

God is with you.

*Image by mrhayata via Flickr

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Brothers, Inspiring, Photos

Weekly Photo Challenge: Opportunity – 2

Yep, I’ve decided to go with the second MISSED OPPORTUNITY from yesterday:

Yesterday, I also included a photo of the flag furled in a way that sort of folded itself over itself, and with the sun backlighting it, it made a sort of checkered pattern. I remember I captioned it “Stars and Checks”. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted, but evaporated, funwise and WYSI-wise, the moment I clicked “publish”. Too bad. Now it is just sheer determination that makes me bow to the necessity of posting twice in order to post two photos. Here it is, such a rare moment, for me, a newbie photographer. I was glad for the OPPORTUNITY when I had it and glad to share with those who care to look, now:

flag 2
Flag 2

Hope you enjoy the shot.

I did.

Oh, and the link for Part 1 is here. It sort of explains this post. So sorry it has to be this way, evidently.

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Photos

Weekly Photo Challenge: Opportunity

This is my second attempt to post on this topic.

Yesterday, I prepared an essay with photos that did not publish right. Well, actually, it morphed, the moment I clicked “publish”, into an unrecognizable monster, even on the “add new post” page! This happens almost every time I try to use more than one photo per post and I can prove it by showing you all my deleted posts, which are all infused with the same trouble: lost photos, all text crammed under a photo as its caption, captions switched from one photo to another. Crazy stuff. I wish I knew why. I have changed themes. I have upgraded my everything. To no avail.

So, here we are, me trying again, and you thinking I never post. A few caught yesterday’s, kind souls who will “like” almost anything, but I know what I typed and I know what posted instead. What you see is not always what you get: WYSINAWYG!!!

Ahem. I digress.

Here is the first photo:

flag
Flag

I am not bothering with the darling captions I thought up yesterday. Can’t remember them, anyway, nor can I remember the text. The gist of it was that I always try to carry my camera and this was an unusual photo OPPORTUNITY because it was a gusty day for wind and the sun was setting at the same time. I also inserted a photo of that actual sunset and another of the flag in an interesting furl. Not going there today. Will have to make three posts to show three photos, until the day comes when . . .

Anyway, it is usual for the wind to die down during sunset, but since it kicked up on this day, instead, I found the flag backlit and unfurled for brief moments. Had to take about 20 shots to get one straight-lined like this.

It was fun. I was having fun sharing it, too. Now I am just determined not to let the machines in the sky beat me.

Sighs.

Posted in Blessings of Habit, Home School, Inspiring, Photos, Pre-schoolers, Scripture, Wisdom

Our Rewarder God

Blue ribbon
GOOD JOB! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!

Everyone who comes to God must believe these two things:

  1. That He exists
  2. That He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

This is truth, according to His Word, which is what we must accept if we accept that He is there to deny, to hate, to dispute, to blame, to doubt, to question, to quote, to copy, to seek, to find, or to acknowledge.

Another truth: all God-haters must admit He exists or their whole life-work has been wasted, right? Same for blamers, questioners, etc. They just miss, entirely, the BENEFITS of His existence, because they do not, also, believe that He rewards, and would joyfully reward THEM.

But He does. He would.

So, it is mandatory to reward our children; we must raise them up in the discipline of the Lord. Reward is one way He disciplines us.

“What?!” you say. “I thought discipline meant things like time-out or skipping dessert!”

While unpleasant consequences are, indeed, a valid part of discipline, God’s Word also shows us that He adds rewards to His method of discipline, which He has commanded us to use.

Why do we fear rewards? I have heard parents say, “I refuse to bribe my children to do right.”

Again, we show our ignorance, because, according to the Word of Him Who requires we do right, bribery—rewarding to do WRONG—is wrong, and rewarding to do right is right.

God’s discipline also includes praise. Consider this: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant . . . ” Or: “This is My Beloved Son, in Whom I AM well pleased . . . “ We cannot deny that He does praise us, also.

So we should praise our own. This is truth.

There is one facet of all this truth that escapes notice, though.

Humility.

His Word says, “Humble yourself, therefore, under the mighty hand of God and He will exalt you in due time.”

His Word says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

As one of His most famous followers said, “He must increase; I must decrease,” and “I am not worthy even to untie His shoe . . .”

We sometimes hear someone who has received great praise saying something like, “Oh, you are setting me up for a fall!” referring to the Scripture that reads, “Pride goeth before a fall . . . “

Still we should praise and reward good jobs, wherever we see them, and especially in our children’s lives. Missing this facet of childhood has caused many adults to grow up warped, never praised, never rewarded, and also never pitied and probably never sent to the corner or switched when they needed that. Undisciplined, they grow up with no self-discipline and probably no healthy concept of God, either, since we learn those from our parents.

Many adults fail to praise or reward other adults, though, and a job well done can make a hurting person jealous. People raised wrong envy beauty, industry, discipline, etc., and often grow snarky instead of praising. We just have to forgive them.

However, it is God, not people, Who watches our ways to give us joy. Humans will praise and reward us, if that is God’s chosen pathway for our praise and rewards to come, but only in due time. He may, though, choose to use His audible voice, instead! Or, our rewards may mostly come in the next life.

But we don’t care. It is a joy to wait upon the Lord. So we patiently seek out His will and try hard to do right, for the joy of pleasing Him, and we humbly wait for that due time, when He will, most assuredly, reward us. Because He IS a rewarder.

And for the snarky-jealous? Maybe we should find some way to give them a bit of the praise they never got during childhood?

Posted in Believe it or not!, Health, Inspiring, Photos, Wisdom

Ten Subtle Hints that You Might Be Someone’s Marionette

Panneau marionette
CAUTION!

Is this “feeling” of being under outside control more than just a feeling?

You may be starting to wonder, “Am I being controlled? Is this something I should begin taking more seriously? Could this problem person in my life be a bigger problem than I am realizing?”

Read the following list and wonder no more. Fine tune your manipulation radar and live free!

  1. You cringe when the phone rings. And it almost always rings at the wrong time. Like when you are trying to get some work done. And it almost always is that person.
  2. The problem person is surrounded with weak people who always cater to him and ask you to do likewise. She has lots of friends. But they act worn out and bored all the time.
  3. You cannot remember “how I got into this.” Often. You end up despairing because you have too much to do. You do not feel comfortable just saying “no”.
  4. You deal with this person’s needs before your own, and can’t figure why. Enough said.
  5. Being polite has not helped. In fact, sometimes it seems to bring out the worst in her.
  6. Your problem person has accused you falsely, several times, of nit-picky things. You feel stupid negating it, so you sigh and let it go.
  7. Your spouse is getting tired of this. And you really cannot blame him.
  8. You fear hurting the problem person’s feelings. You care.
  9. Even when you take a vacation, hundreds of miles from this person, his name or troubles pop up in conversations, so there still is no rest.
  10. Your friends are backing away a bit. You are weird with this friend…

There you have it. Do you feel more certain now? You may be a marionette, but you still can cut at least a few of the strings that lead you around and at least tone down the level of outside control over your life. Read the previous posts to learn more, here, here, and here.

And live free.

(*Image via Wikipedia.)

Posted in Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Health, Inspiring, Photos, Wisdom

What to Do if You Are Under a Manipulator – part 2

Tenzin Has A Tantrum
When an adult acts like this…

Yesterday we began a list of 7 tactics a person can try, when forced to deal repeatedly with a manipulative, controlling person. Today’s post is the rest of the list. First, though, we must repeat one fact: these suggestions do not apply well to a legitimate authority who uses a manipulative management style. Now, the rest of the list:

8.  Approach the controller when he least expects it. You call him, for a change. Arrange something irresistible and treat the person to a pleasant taste of his own medicine. He probably will pretend that he knew you were going to call, he was just thinking of the same idea, and will probably insist on paying his own way. Call his bluff, insist on paying, yourself, and make it the type of thing that denies him your presence unless you get a turn at running things, once in a while.

9.  When you just need to get alone and cannot achieve it, witness to the controller. Ask him what the Lord has been doing in his life, lately. Ask him if he has anything really special he could share from his quiet time. If he does not claim salvation, explain his need to him in a rather aggressive way. Ask him how you can pray for him. (It would be really mean to say this if you did not mean it, though!) Either he will go away in a frenzy, or he will hear the Word and be drawn to the Lord. If he is going to insist on tying up your life, let it be time well spent. You may be surprised.

10.  Pray for God’s protection from curses and negative words spoken over your life by this person.

11.  If you find that you simply cannot let go of your demonic manipulator, you probably need deliverance from a co-dependent spirit. Ask your pastor. If he does not believe in deliverance, ask him why deliverance is in the Bible; why Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever; or if the devil is less evil than he once was. As you begin withdrawing from the controlling influence, you can expect to see bizarre behavior such as screaming, silence, accusations, tears, hysterical laughter, threats, weird phone calls, etc. You are probably living with some of this already. It may escalate. Try to remain unruffled. SEE IT COMING; do not say, “I didn’t even see it coming!” Make some accusations of your own, if it gets to be too much, but do not make the mistake of engaging in a verbal battle. Calm reason in the face of total absurdity usually has a powerful way of making a point.

12.  If your manipulator is also your legitimate authority, realize your position means you should usually do what he says, regardless of a very horrid management style. You may escape many of the pitfalls of the manipulation by using #8 (a little), #9, and #10.

Also:
a.  Commit to obey God by keeping His command to obey your governing authorities.
b.  Commit your life and its outcomes to Him.
c.  Re-commit yourself to trusting God’s provision. Only He can change some situations.

Living within the type of agony caused by the manipulator/controller spirit among us is a difficult assignment. I’ve been there more than once. I’ve battled the false guilt, false accusations, public embarrassment, sadness, and sheer weight of this enemy of all people.

The unhappy ones who listen to this enemy of us all and who walk in his ways need help. Until they want it enough to get it, though, we endure as best we can.

I hope this list gives you some usable tools to do what you must do under your heavy load: DO NOT BE AN ENABLER

Tomorrow (Lord willing!): Tiny Hints that YOU May Be a Marionette!