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I Am Thankful for Thanksgiving Day

Posted on November 26, 2011November 13, 2016 by Katharine

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We don’t call it “turkey day”. We don’t even always have turkey.

But I love Thanksgiving Day. What other holiday do we celebrate that is totally intended to be 1.) Christian, and 2.) American?

So very few people actually are at all able to assimilate this truth.

But it is true: The celebration of Thanksgiving Day is a Christian and an American act, no matter who else joins in.

Or doesn’t.

We have always taken it quite seriously, too, often beginning with the five kernels of corn, proceeding to telling what we all are thankful for, and ending with glorious stuff topped with whipped cream, we do the whole thing.

All our kids and grandkids come to be with us that weekend, as opposed to the December holidays, when they run to their other in-laws. They all volunteer to bring food and the dear daughters-in-law have developed quite a repertoire they love to contribute: pumpkin pies, Polly’s Apple Pie!, sweet potato casserole, ham, dressing, whipped potatoes, blueberry pie, and Good Pie, so far.

Our one daughter does whatever needs doing as the day progresses, helping me like a sweet little slave, even helping clean her one remaining unmarried brother’s bedroom before he comes home from college, but her specialty is the banana-bread-bar-none.

Their dad and I contribute turkey, corn, peas, apple gelatin, cranberry sauce, whipped cream, cherry pie, raisin pie, olives, pickles, sausages, and oh, a whole lot more.

They all stay with us, here, in our house or in our guest house, for most of the entire weekend, usually arriving on Wednesday. That night I supply two soups, something venison, and something special. This year it was venison chili, and pumpkin soup, a whim, for me. You see, it is my tradition that I make one “whim” soup.

Another tradition is that my husband goes a little crazy at the grocery and comes home with several $6 bottles of pickled things like jalapeno-stuffed olives or hot vegetable mix. Mmm! The two stoves and three refrigerators stay maxed out.

We have the big meal on Thursday for lunch, at noonish, but we don’t really worry about the clock. We play games like Balderdash and Scattergories, we eat leftovers forever, and we laugh ourselves silly. I’ve noticed the daughters-in-law developing very good relationships with each other and it gives me joy. I love it.

My enemy hates it. I think he hates the show of a whole family being joyful together. I know he hates the act of giving thanks. And, of course, being our enemy, he hates us.

What makes me say all that? Well . . .

I’m trying to think of a single Thanksgiving Day that he did not try to spoil.

One year, back before we had our own grown kids and were still going home to our own parents, we hit a dog and could not make the trip as planned because of a ruined radiator.
Another year, we were rear-ended in rush hour traffic, making us unable to make the trip because the trunk would not open for our luggage.
Another year, we were hit in an intersection by someone who did not know how to drive on ice.
Once, one of our sons broke an arm and needed surgical repair and overnight observation.
Once, one son got diarrhea and was admitted to the hospital for dehydration. And then my husband had a wreck. Same year.
Once, one of my husband’s best friends died and we stayed here for the funeral.
We hit a couple of deer and all the body shops were booked until January.
One time, our fridge conked out. (It was 2 years old.)
Once, I got sick.
Once, my husband and I both got sick.

All these happened on or just before individual Thanksgiving Day weekends. I know once I post this, I will slap my head because I have just remembered the one I forgot.

We get tired of these attacks. Number 10, above, is this year. (2011) I have a fever and a cough as I type this. My head hurts. I did not get to play games with my family, for fear of infecting them with we-know-not-what, since the doctors are closed this weekend.

My wonderful daughters-in-law ran my kitchen like pros and everyone but me had a lovely time.

But I had a lovely time, in a small way. From my bedroom where I quarantined myself for the sake of their health, and because I truly felt like crud, I could hear how wonderfully my family plays and laughs and carries on despite adversity. And from my bedroom, I loved them.

And Thanksgiving Day.

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Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 7

Posted on October 30, 2011February 21, 2014 by Katharine

Reason #7

It Is a Test

The trying of your faith worketh patience. (James 1:3)

Could this be happening to you? To your husband? To your marriage?

Yes.

In fact, you hope this happens in your lives, because the Scripture also tells us, “Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” (Hebrews 12:6) The Lord’s favor, thus expressed, can come in almost any form. Everyone may not always react rightly.

Solution #7: Rejoice always, pray constantly, and give thanks in all circumstances. This is the will of the Lord in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) This is truth.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not believe God originally intended anything for His children except lots of pleasant fruit eating and gardening. Things changed, though. We do not live precisely where He originally intended, and the choice was ours. We get a foretaste of Heaven when we fellowship with the Lord, but everyone knows a foretaste is like a little kiss when compared to full knowledge. It is very good, but not all there is. This is where we are.

The facts are, tough stuff happens to everyone who is still on this earth. We find ourselves in the midst of people who react incorrectly.

This one forgets to love, that one has lost joy, another will not give you any peace. Perhaps you become impatient. Gentleness flies out the window. Someone has a wicked opinion, doubts, pride, or just decides to “let ‘er rip”. Any one of these acts could be your specialty. Any could be mine.

Any could be your husband’s.

So how could your husband’s poor record, if it is related to testing, be working for good? Is he learning about himself or about the Lord’s grace, however painfully? Are you learning new depths of patience? If you overreact, is he forgiving? Are you? Are your children learning about the mysterious union between Christ and the Church by watching the two of you wade through troubles?

Think about it: You trust God. You believe He loves you. You have committed your ways unto Him. How could this be anything except His will, His desire for you to learn, to grow, or to improve?

It is worth it. Knowing Jesus more fully is worth any price. Paul said he wanted to know Him and the fellowship of His suffering. (Philippians 3:10a) Do you? If you do, it will be all right with you if Jesus teaches you. Then, if you become like your Teacher, it is enough. (Matthew 10:24-25)

Sometimes, God wants to show you how His heart is breaking over sin. So He will show you sin. If you run away from a lesson and hole up at home, He will continue the lesson at home. Yes, you should be a home-keeper, but if forced, He can bring any lesson very close.

Sometimes God wants you to learn how to pray. Then you may need something to pray about, for none of us inherently desires to spend time at His feet. Some wives have to see generational sin before they will get busy. If you realize new layers of maturity you need, what is holding you back?

Sometimes the Lord wants to carry you in His arms like a little lamb. (Isaiah 40:11) If you are more like a big goat, you may need a short time of “weakening”. King David said before he was afflicted, he did not understand the goodness of the Lord. (Psalm 119: 67-75) Are you like him? Do you need trouble, now and then, to remember to drink of the sweet, clear water of salvation? We all need Jesus all the time, so a reminder, now and then, is good.

Is it dreary to think of it? Yes, Scripture says all discipline is unpleasant. (Hebrews 12:11) But later…oh, later! Who could pay you to give up the peaceful fruit of righteousness? What would be your price? If you could trade a life of ease for a righteous life, would you?

He will not let you.

The Potter is softening the clay. The Vine-Husbandman is pruning the fruitful vine. The Father is disciplining the precious child. You want to escape that?

No. You want to flow with the ride like a skillful horseman, leaning into the jumps in the race. If you fall off, you want to get back on. You are riding a Champion, Who will take you to the finish line. You will win. YOU WILL WIN!

Once there was a storm. Eleven people cowered in a boat, but one stepped out—into the arms of Jesus. (Matthew 14:29)

Be that one.

____________________

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Seven Reasons Why Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 6

Posted on October 29, 2011April 28, 2014 by Katharine

Reason #6

He Is Trying to Please You

The man living to please his wife is afraid. He won’t measure up. He’ll make a mistake. He’s sure of it.

Candle in the Window (Photo credit: Chris Campbell)

How did he get this way? Probably, he suffered at the hands of his parents.

However, he gets no relief from kicking himself unless he knows you’re happy, and convincing him of your happiness can be hard. His service to you goes beyond Christian charity. Face it: You are an idol in his life. He’ll likely fail to do much for the Lord unless he takes his eyes off you, turns around, and looks to Jesus.

Solution #6: How do you dance with a man who won’t lead? How tempting simply to express your opinion, let him fulfill your will, and live it up!

Yes, it is.

Is that Godly?

No, it is not.

God wants you to be a helper, fit for him, but he is afraid. He fears losing you, failing you, displeasing you…he fears YOU!

The fear of man (or woman) is a snare. God wants him to stand, throw off this fear, know the voice of Jesus, and walk in the light.

The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.

It’s not your fault. Someone has done this to him, but you suffer, too. Someone has broken, squashed, or grated on your man, when he was a little boy. To him, anything would be worse than your displeasure. Somehow, someone has to undo this wrong.

The hard part is dying to yourself. If your husband had a physical handicap, you’d never think of tripping him when he walked. You’d gladly fetch his cane, rub liniment, or whatever, to help him heal.

Instead, his affliction is emotional. The things that trip him are the everyday nuances of personality that anyone else can bear. A pout, a sigh, or a frown make you appear to be unhappy. He is alarmed. He quizzes you. You resent it. He feels shut out. You feel helpless. It never ends.

You are in a powerful position, though, to minister healing in the name of Jesus.

You can convince him that it would please you most for him to ask God’s will instead of seeking yours. He will not be easy to convince.

You can encourage him to go ahead and risk making a mistake. He will despair over it, even in his sleep.

You can accept him, blunders, and all. He will be awaiting your rejection, instead.

He wants you to be his Light that shows him the way each day. God wants you to be the light in the window to draw him back home each night.

You can assure him that you will love him for a lifetime, no matter what. If it takes a lifetime, it truly does not matter. It is do-able. Minister acceptance to your husband and you will be an instrument in God’s hand to help him stand tall in the acceptance that is his in Jesus Christ. You will become the helper he needs, a helper that is fit for him, his helpmeet.

If he were a missionary, he would need a missionary helpmeet. If he were a lawyer, he would need a helpmeet who could maneuver in society. If he were poor, he would need a helpmeet who could follow a budget. If he were lame, he would need a helpmeet who could endure the smell of liniment.

Instead of these requirements, your husband needs mending. He needs time. He needs smiles. He needs space. Above all, he needs to know of your love on a daily, or even hourly basis. Tell him, show him, and prove to him, many times over, that you love him. Never think that now, finally, you have convinced him.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. (Proverbs 31:11) So says Scripture of the good wife. It then lists the benefits the good wife provides for her husband so that he need not venture out for them. You can provide cheer, comfort, love, and acceptance for him. He need not look beyond your lovely face for hope. You can show him, even be for him the love of Jesus manifested into his life. You can help him see the hope that lies in Jesus.

Listen to this conversation between a married couple from Scripture: “We are doomed to die!” he said to his wife. “We have seen God!” But his wife answered, “If the LORD had meant to kill us, he would not have accepted a burnt offering and grain offering from our hands, nor shown us all these things or now told us this.” Can you see the way Samson’s mother tried to instill hope and joy into the heart of her husband, who was relating to good tidings from a basis of fear?

You can do the same. You can help your husband love God and look to Him for guidance. You can help him learn to trust in the love of God. You can help him relax in the presence of God. You can be good tidings, in his life. He will begin to trust you. He will join your children in rising up to call you blessed. He will begin to praise you. He will feel safe.

It will be the first time in his life.

___________________________

Image by Chris Campbell via Flickr

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Seven Reasons Why Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 5

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Katharine

Reason # 5

He Is Under Demonic Control

No, I don’t mean your husband is necessarily communicating with demons, but others are serving the enemy by trying to take over his life. Does this seem impossible?

Solution # 5: To beat this tricky problem, realize that only God has the right to issue authority. He is the ultimate Authority and controls the entire universe His way. Exodus 15:18 If you can’t understand this principle, learn it soon, because it is vital to joy and peace in the Lord.

How could your husband fall out of line with God’s authority, although he claims to love the Lord?

Does he have a parent who tells him what, how, or when? (He should have left them when he cleaved to you.)

Does a “friend” lean heavily upon him for help, advice, entertainment, or other time-consumers? (He is missing time with his family and his God.)

Does his work situation demand his constant early arrival and late departure? (Although his boss is a legitimate authority, perhaps he needs a new job.)

Is he in crippling debt? Has he made a contract, or agreement (covenant) with the unGodly? He needs to get out, very quickly, if at all possible.

The above are examples of avenues for demonic control.

A Christian man is supposed to be a uniquely sovereign entity, subject only to the Lord and His delegated ones (Matthew 4:10). The enemy, unable to reach him directly, has used someone else to do the job.

What can you do? Not much, unless you consider prayer the catalyst for most of the changes in God’s Kingdom.

Pray with all your might that your husband will have grace to see that only God—or His delegated authorities—should stand over his shoulder, consuming his energies, planning his days and nights. Don’t try to tell, teach, nor command him to do so, though. Pray and wait upon the Lord.

Only, ONLY if your husband asks should you offer insight. Only if he asks should you explain or request a change.

In one area, though, you can do much to affect a change and set your husband free to become God’s man: the realm of your own control over your husband, which is not supposed to happen. HE is God’s legitimate authority over YOU, not vice-versa.

Your husband’s desires or needs should plan your day, not vice-versa.

Your husband should choose the lifestyle you both attempt, not vice-versa.

Maybe your husband came from a matriarchal home, and expects you to dominate him. He may have no idea you desire him to lead. Has it been too easy to take over where your mother-in-law left off, controlling the little boy who barely guesses at the possibility of manhood? As a keeper-at-home, do you enjoy being the authority of this small kingdom, in exchange for a larger one in the business world? Do you like having your way so handily?

Do you have a puppet husband?

If so, repent. You have participated; you have contributed. No amount of explanation will change him, especially at first. The best thing is to submit. Send the children to him for decisions and do not argue. Ask his advice and do not argue. Do not whine. Do not bring it up again when you think he is in a better mood. Do not make that face that only you and he know is an argument, all by itself.

Only when he asks is it time to explain, to confess, and to cry. Before the idea births in him is too early. Just decrease so he can increase. Let him scale a height or two and catch a glimpse of the vision, first.

Otherwise, you risk molding for yourself a nice, authoritative-appearing puppet. What you really want is that God would mold you a real man.

I often wondered how someone like Eve or Sarai could talk someone like Adam or Abram into acting against the amazing revelations they received. (Gen. 3:6, 16:2) Or, how about Rebekah?

Then, when I am honest, I know how it happened. I have seen my fingerprints on God’s clay before. It only takes a look, a sigh, a tear…a little silence correctly placed. You know, too.

Take your hands off the clay and let God work. God is the potter, not you. It’ll take time. It may take a lifetime. This may be your real reason for living. Did God choose you for the highly Spiritual work of tooling a man out of clay? Lie down, then, and be a tool ready, and in His easy reach.

_________________________

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Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 4

Posted on October 27, 2011October 26, 2011 by Katharine

Reason #4

His Wife Practices Witchcraft

If this concept is new to you, it will be hard. Nevertheless, it is truth. You want the truth, I know. You want your husband to overcome. Reality is very important. If you are practicing witchcraft, you are opening the door to all the demons of hell to have their way with you and your family. You may not have heard of this before, but it’s in your Bible. You need to question why you’ve never heard of it.

Solution #4: Of course, the answer is to stop, confess, repent, renounce, and never look back. Let’s begin with the obvious, and this is not a complete list:

If you are now, or ever have done horoscopes, D&D, Ouija, etc., then you must stop.
Read occult fiction? Stop.
Watch occult movies? Stop.
Demonic computer games? Stop.
“Into” Indian religions? Stop.
TM, yoga, ninja, jujitsu, karate, etc., all have to go.
Own pagan statuary? It is an offense to God.

Throw all this, and any similar trash, into a big pile and burn it. Yes, burn it. Find people to pray with you. Find friends who believe God about what He said on these matters to explain to you: How much he meant what He said!

It’s an emergency. There is no time or room for arguing about this. You are in danger. Get help. You’ll love being free.

If you are thinking how good you are to be so free, you are the primary target of this post, because you do understand. So, look at one verse of Scripture, 1 Samuel 15:23: “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” Is the Lord already speaking to your heart?

Dear Sister, if you are rebelling against your husband’s leading, you are opening the door to witchcraft in your home. I know this is a heart-breaking Word, if you’re taking it seriously. Please, take it seriously. You are playing with fire.

When your husband expresses his will and your thoughts turn rebellious, you’re rebelling against God, similar to Saul. Your excuses are sounding like Saul’s. It doesn’t matter if your husband seems mistaken. It doesn’t matter if you are expert at the subject about which he reserves judgment. It doesn’t matter if his decisions are untimely, or even waste time. Nothing else matters if witchcraft is in the home. How unfair to expect good decisions from a man living alongside witchcraft!

The first move is up to you, no matter what your husband has done. Go to God and repent. Weep and wail for the misery that has and will overcome you. Then apologize to your husband. After that, you must commit the rest of your life to walk in submission to God, through your husband.

If you see you’ve caused the problem, do whatever you must to stop. How can anyone survive, spiritually, living within an invitation to witchcraft? Close the door to the enemy and watch your husband begin to walk freer. Watch your children begin to walk freer. Watch them begin to understand submission and submit more freely to you.

The enemy will hate this move. He’ll batter the windows of your soul with storms you never dreamed of. Don’t be afraid: fear is another storm to make you give up. Don’t give up. Close the windows. Walk in love for your Savior and for your husband. Love will give you bravery. Ask God to perfect your love for Him, and your family. His love will tame the raging rebellion lion. Then you’ll experience one of my favorite Scriptures: Ps 85:10 Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

It sounds so good, doesn’t it? It is good. It is the peace that passes all understanding, dwelling in your heart, your home, and your life—worth any price. Invite the Prince of Peace into your existence. You will never be sorry you did.

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Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 3

Posted on October 26, 2011October 27, 2011 by Katharine

Reason #3

He Is in Bondage

What does this mean?

Just as it sounds, he has cords, chains tied around his life and he is unable to escape from his sins. They pursue him, overtake him, enslave him. He tries to understand. He explains to himself, rehearsing what he will say if confronted, all to very little avail. It is a rut. He is stuck, tortured, crippled. There seems to be no way out. The power of God over sin seems to be for everyone else.

Solution #3: How does this happen? Sometimes (most times) this condition in someone who claims Christ, comes from unforgiveness.

In Matthew 6:15 the Lord tells us that God’s people must forgive others to receive forgiveness from the Father. The man holding others in unforgiveness places himself in grave spiritual danger. He shows that even greater sin lies dormant within himself, awaiting a moment to manifest. He proves his need for the grace of God while risking forfeiture of that grace. In fact, he refuses grace.

Failing to go for grace when he is needy, he becomes enslaved. It is such a potential for great loss.

There is little you can do if your husband’s unforgiveness is plaguing your marriage. If he is sinning, you can hardly stop sinning for him. Your patience and prayers are the best you can give.

It’s a different story, though, if the wife is holding him in bondage through her unforgiveness. In Matthew 16:19, we find that if a Christian forgives someone, he is forgiven in God’s eyes. God gives us that authority. This means that when your husband is going too fast on the highway, you can forgive him and free him to receive grace to conquer lawlessness. When he overeats, you can forgive him and free him to receive grace to conquer gluttony. When he neglects to pay bills, you can forgive him and free him to receive grace to conquer laziness.

This makes an enormous difference.

Hard to believe? Look at the Apostle Paul. When he called himself “Saul”, he was one of the Romans who helped kill Christians, hardly a small sin, hardly something you could forgive if you found it in your husband. Yet, Stephen forgave Saul, freeing him for his future. Read about it in Acts 7:58 – 9:1. It really happened: A Godly person forgave the unforgivable. He released the sinner to receive Christ’s ministry and become Christ’s minister. What Stephen forgave on this earth was forgiven in heaven. Stephen was like Jesus in his death.

We are called to be like Christ. That is what the word “Christian” means. If Jesus Christ could love and forgive you when you were His enemy, if Stephen could forgive his murderous enemy, how much more should we be willing to forgive the husband of our heart, our beloved, the one we chose to share this life with!

This two-sided commission also gives us authority to hold a man to his sin, to hold him in bondage. Before we shrug this off, remember that if a husband is bound to a sin, the wife is too, because we are bound to them in marriage. Taking this lightly is dangerous because God takes it seriously. You bind your husband to his sin, yourself to him, your children to you both, to the third and fourth generations of them that hate the Lord. Hate is a strong word, but Jesus said it: You cannot serve two masters. You love only one and hate the other. Whomever you serve, is your master. If you serve the god of unforgiveness, I fear for your family.

There is one more fearful facet to this truth: If you hold your daddy in unforgiveness, binding him to his sin, you need to realize you are bound to him, too, as his daughter. Are you seeing some of his same sins in your husband or in your children? Is it beginning to make sense? Forgiveness IS the key, just as God said. The joyful thing is: you hold the key.

Matthew 16:18-19

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Seven Reasons Your Christian Husband Can’t Do Better – Part 2

Posted on October 25, 2011October 24, 2011 by Katharine

Reason #2 – He Has Been Cursed

I’m sticking my neck out, here. Stay with me.

The truth is that our husbands face many draining words in the course of a normal day;

Those nagging words you speak: “Why can’t you remember a thing I say?!”
Those foretelling words his mother always spoke: “Darling, you know Mother wants you to avoid all the mistakes your father made!”
Those fiery words from the boss: “Herman, you just HAVE to shape up!”

All these words can work as curses with bad effects. They cause him to dwell on and believe in his faults, real or imagined, and to take his eyes off the Author and Finisher of his faith. These words tell him he is not good enough and perhaps never will be. He can easily sink into depression or despair instead of standing against the enemy.

Solution #2: Pray to break word curses spoken over your husband. Try this for a morning prayer: “In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I break every curse and negative word spoken over my husband, (name). I declare every curse and negative word spoken over my husband to be broken and null and void in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Father, I ask you to put a hedge of protection around my husband’s soul and to guard and protect him from the evil one’s attacks.”

Then stop cursing him. Bless him. We are called to be a blessing, so…be one!

If you had a female roommate, would she stay with you if you talked to her the way you talk to and about your husband? Just because someone is bound to stay with you, by an oath before God, as your husband is, is no reason to take advantage of it and be mean. Tell him how much you appreciate something about him. Tell him you love him, but make it obvious, too.

Do not stop at speaking blessings, be a blessing.

Fix his favorite food, sometimes, just for him, even if it is barely this side of edible. One fried chicken dinner with gravy will go far in saying, “You matter to me,” even if you hope your kids grow up vegetarian. Create a space or two inside his “castle” where things are done his way, where he can feel like he’s at least part owner.

This also goes for when he is not present. Your friends are not being true if they are tempting you in the “roast hubby” game. Look at the Song of Solomon to see how the bride described her groom . . . all the girlfriends wanted to check him out by the time she finished! Your husband isn’t that perfect? Her husband worshiped idols and she likely had no choice in whom she married. How would you like that?

Yet her attitude was godly as ours should be, too.

Maybe you grew up in a matriarchal home.

Maybe you never even considered that your attitude and words could be adding to your problems.

Ask God’s forgiveness. Ask your husband’s forgiveness.

Then walk purely, as a blessing.

Or you cannot expect him to.

All you can expect, then, is bad attitudes in your children, and in your children’s children . . .

__________________

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