The Time I Got Lost at Church

Posted on September 26, 2011September 29, 2011 by Katharine

The 142-metre-long (155 yards) Potemkin Stairs... — Well--it wasn't quite this big . . .

It was our first time there.

It was big.

We had to park a block away and climb a long flight of stairs just to get in.

But it was good. Really good preaching.

Then the baby needed whatever babies seem always to need when you really want to stay seated in church.

And I made the trek to the nursery, aided by the aides in the hallways. You see, this church really was big. Several stories high and took up a whole block. Just the building.

However, after going down two hallways, down the elevator, and down two more hallways, nursing the baby, and changing the baby, with my geographically challenged mind–I could not find my way back to the sanctuary.

Could. Not.

I also could not find any of the illustrious hallway aides I had used to get so far away from my family. Although I knew not where I was, nor where I needed to go, I could sort of tell where I was going: in circles.

Finally I spied an aide and gave him that sad-puppy look. He asked me if I needed help.

“I’m lost,” I told him.

He raised one eyebrow and shifted his posture.

Oh, no. I didn’t mean that. Not in a Baptist church. Not that kind of lost!

“I mean–I’m saved!–but I can’t find my way back from the nursery to the sanctuary.”

Practically a slide show of faces slid over his face: relief, disappointment, trying-not-to-laugh, sureness.

And he led me, personally, to the place I needed to be, which I was very much farther from than I thought.

And we decided that although it was an extremely pleasant church, we really were more the little church type.

Husbands, Inspiring, Scripture, Wisdom, Womanhood

Friendship Hierarchy

Posted on September 17, 2011October 25, 2018 by Katharine

A Conclusion

Jesus, while on this earth, befriended thousands, among them:

120 who believed in Him, followed Him – Acts 1:15

72 who did ministry for Him – Luke 10:1, 17

12 whom He discipled, whom He called “friends” – Mark 3:14

3 whom He granted more insight and understanding – Mark 5:37, 9:2, 14:33

AND

The one whom He loved, who leaned upon Him at meals, to whom He entrusted His last revelation.
John 13:33, 21:7, 20, Revelation 1:1-2

What is a best friend?

Oh, if only we all could be perfect friends! What a world it would be!

But it is not.

The day may come, though, when each of us can realize, “My friend is as close to me as myself. I love this friend like my own life. She is the best friend a person could ever be.”

“Best” friends have existed from the beginning of recorded history. Words for “best friend” appear in many languages. The ancient Hebrew word was alluph meaning “guide, chief friend”. The Greeks grasped this idea, too, with their word peitho meaning “persuade, trust, confidence”. The words appear in Proverbs 16:28, 17:9 and Acts 12:20, where it mentions a man who is “trusted personal servant of the king”.

You know, the one who saddles his horse, pours his wine, and hands him his clothing; the one who stores his seal, adjusts his armor, and sleeps in his doorway. No one gets past this man because he loves his king more than his own life. The king has hand-picked him because of his loyalty. Many may want the job, may even attack the servant with gossip, because of jealousy, but the king has final say and this man is it.

This closest friend has free access to your soul, can tell you off or kiss your cheek without blame. It is the duty and privilege of this closest friend.

You would trust this friend to discipline your own children, to manage your estate, to give you a sponge bath if you had a fever. You would trust this friend to talk you into or out of a huge decision.

You would tell this friend first, if you sinned a huge sin. The wrong person in this slot could completely destroy you.

Pure trust. Pure friendship. It happens once in a lifetime for some, never for others.

No one, no one, should enter into this type of friendship lightly. Such trust must always be earned.

Such trust is not always mutual. One friend may trust more than the other because of differences in caution levels, need levels, or past hurts. Even lack of time can cause one to forego such friendship.

Sometimes it is fleeting. Two men trapped in a fallen mine shaft may trust each other in this way until they are rescued, when those golden hours become a golden memory of the highest humanity can be.

Sometimes we must trust medical professionals this way, for a brief time, and, of course, sometimes that forced trust can seem very awkward.

What joy that for some women, such a friendship develops inside marriage! Many women, though, may feel they need one female friend of nearly equal status to the husband, just to have someone with whom they can discuss the pitfalls and surprises of marriage to a man.

For some of us, our own mothers can be this type of friend. For some of us, our mothers must rely upon us in this manner.

Jonathan risked his life to save David’s. Nehemiah was cupbearer to the king. My sister was my mother’s executrix. Pure trust, rightly placed, is a precious gift.

If you find that opportunity, take it.

Take it very slowly.

Blessings of Habit, Brothers, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Wisdom, Womanhood

Been Unfriended?

Posted on September 16, 2011October 25, 2018 by Katharine

People can be complicated.

Friendships can be messy.

Knowing more can be scary.

With the knowing, the deeper truths, and the closer expressions of concern, can come the fears, the denials, and the silence.

The dark days of friendship.

A couple of friends once asked me if my young teen daughter could arbitrate between their two teens. I could hardly believe my ears. The three of us were close, so I shared my many concerns and said no.

The ramifications were astounding: a seeming total breakdown in all communication.

They literally continued being friends to each other without me and my daughter.

Wow.

A full year later, we were all at an event at a park. One of these friends had a newly-minted, biggest-baddest car-of-the-year and asked me if I would enjoy taking it around the park with her.

The shock!

Still the idea of sitting behind all 4 million horses under that hood was too tempting and we took her for a spin at park speed: 5 mph. Ha.

It was glorious and just destroyed my mini-van, in my eyes.

However, what happened during that drive was more. Far more. This dear friend apologized. She said she was wrong. She had thought I was wrong but she saw differently later. She thanked me for my dedication to truth and to our friendship. I thanked her for the same two things.

We are still friends, the kind that can be apart for a year and then take it up like we were just days apart. Which we did.

This was deep.

This was asking advice on children and giving it.

This was disagreeing and staying cool for a year.

This was trusting an apology would fix it.

This was forgiving wrongs. Deep, deep, deep, like few, few, few friendships ever can be.

The ancients called these types of friendships leb in Hebrew and philos in Greek, implying core understanding, brotherhood. This friend would visit a friend in jail. This friend would give up a year of pleasure for a friend. This friend would help a relative of a friend, if asked; would party and rejoice at a friend’s joy. Read about it in Ruth 2:13 and John 3:29.

But it can backfire.

Big.

All people have at their fingertips the ability to do wrong. This is what we risk in every relationship, but the closer we grow, the more we risk.

The closer we are, the more accurately we can aim our weapons.

And, oh, the more it hurts.

This is a call for caution.

Some people are broken and do not know how to be a friend. Befriending them will always be a lopsided venture, more give than take, like dancing with someone who doesn’t know the steps. Befriending them will always carry risk. Befriending someone who might backfire is a noble calling, not a picnic.

As long as we remember each of us is able to fail, as long as we dedicate ourselves to befriending and not to collecting fun people, we can proceed. We can gently and lovingly share the truth in hope, not that the friendship will one day benefit ME, but that it will one day bring glory to God.

And that is where we all should be.

Comments? Read more?

BE the friend she needs, instead of collecting friends. Be the adult in your friendships!

Believe it or not!, Cats, Coffee-ism, Inspiring, Photos, Scripture, Wisdom, Womanhood

To Befriend or NOT to Befriend . . .

Posted on September 14, 2011October 25, 2018 by Katharine

Okay, you know her name and that she has three children and came from Peoria, and she attends your church when she bothers with attending.

You even know what she and her husband argue about. She lives just down the street, after all.

You just do not feel very close. Oh, sure, you’ve given her a ride when her car was in the shop, you watched her children while she painted a room, and you took her some soup when they all had flu. She lives just down the street, after all.

She is what the ancient Hebrew called anesh-shalom and the ancient Greek called hetairos. These words referred to acquaintances that we work with, live with, even depend upon, but yet are not necessarily of our choosing. Examples are Jeremiah 38:22 and Matthew 20:13.

It would not yet be wise to trust her, but how do you befriend her?

You take food to her, help with her children, and give her rides; that’s how.

While you are at it, show interest. If you are only a helping hand, she will feel like a charity case. A person usually cannot open up to another unless there is a trade, a give and take, like a dance. If, over coffee or tea, you ask to see the paint job, ask her for a ride in return, or ask if her children would feed your cat while you are gone, you will deepen the relationship.

You will earn closeness that allows you to ask better questions than, “How are you today?”.

Questions like:

“You look tired—bad night?”

“So, how do you like the neighborhood? Are you meeting folks?”

“It was good to see you Sunday—Have you decided to join us, or are you still looking?”

Her answers will open doors for new conversations that are more meaningful. Conversations are the building blocks of true friendship. Slip in a hug, when appropriate, and you add the cherry on top: You add value to her person.

Realizing that each person on this earth is needy is the key to all relationships.

We once lived next door to the wealthiest family in town, totally out of our league. The wife one day asked my permission to help plant my rose bushes. The part she really wanted to do was pick the grass roots from the soil, so it would not grow back so quickly. Her daddy, she said, used to make her do that chore and she seldom got a chance to show her expertise at it, anymore.

When we got thirsty, I brought out ice water in my old jelly glass tumblers. We sat on the edge of the terrace, on a railroad tie, and chatted as if we were just a couple of women who liked playing in the dirt, in our grubby clothes. We talked about our mothers-in-law and about the neighbor’s cute grandson. You know, normal stuff.

She needed to feel normal.

And haven’t we all been there.

Comment?

To Be a Friend or NOT to Be . . .

Posted on September 13, 2011October 25, 2018 by Katharine

The most important part of undertaking any type of friendship is re-arranging the understanding about what a friend is.

A friend is something you must BE.

It is not something to have, collect, use, or control. People who are kind and loving do not own, collect, use, or control other people. That is not friendship; it is manipulation. A person is not something to collect. We do not have friends, do not own friends. We BE friends.

We befriend.

Given that, we should learn how to befriend. We should care about being a good friend, not collecting friends. So we study the Best Friend we can find and we learn how His words lead us into all truth, even about our earthly friendships.

And His Word tells us and shows us there are five levels of acquaintance, of friendship.

The most distant acquaintance is the person you recognize from the newsstand or the grocery checkout. You do not know his life or how to be what he needs, but you always smile and wave, acknowledging that fragile link of recognition, of knowing we both don’t even know each other’s name.

The Old Testament ancient Hebrew used words like rea and raa (Proverbs 19:6) to indicate this type of person you might see occasionally, might make a show of friendliness to. In the New Testament, the old Greek words were hoi par autou, (Mark 3:21) for those who just happen to be with you.

Although you might not know this person’s needs, you can reach out to him. The best way to “befriend” such a person, obviously, is to get to know him more. A simple question about place of origin, number of children, or hobbies, in the right context, will add a few almost invisible layers to your acquaintance with this person.

Your continued interest will tell him someone cares, which is such a life-giving thought.

And haven’t we all been there.

Two Down, Four to Go!

Posted on September 12, 2011September 12, 2011 by Katharine

Today is laundry day.

Two loads done and oh, so much, left to go.

Today is possibly a tutoring day.

Today is the day I had hoped to begin sewing for the fall festival.

Today is the day I must begin advertising for the fall festival.

Today is the day I need to make many phone calls regarding several different upcoming events.

Today is the day I must begin practicing for leading singing at a camp meeting this weekend.

Today is the day I had hoped to bake a pie.

AND

This is the day that the Lord hath made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Ever have a day like this?

Believe it or not!, Blessings of Habit, Inspiring, Photos, Womanhood

Another Brave Huntress Story!

Posted on September 10, 2011 by Katharine

. . . AGAIN!

You know, of course, this means another ‘coon after our girlies . . .

Well, we were not home, but it happened again.

And a certain brave young lady, a true huntress at heart, who’d agreed to watch our house and tend our sweet, helpless, innocent chickens (see them here) in our absence, found a disturbing set of occurrences, just as I had found earlier this week.

The difference?

This gal is always packin’.

And she knows what to do.

And she took care of business, as per our instructions.

And I wish I could be like her.

And I owe her a certain favorite pie of her choosing.

And I am asking you, loyal readers, to HOUND me until I make her that pie.

(No photo with RECIPE? It didn’t happen!)

Thanks.